Prison Rehab Doesn't Exist

This is the response I received from a prison psychologist when I made a desperate plea for guidance to deal with the psychological damage I suffered while in prison (posted yesterday). It was delivered to me via institutional mail. The memorandum was signed and dated.

Response:

"I agree that your environment limits the options available to cope with various stressors. Especially if new learning has to take place in order to cope within of your current housing (i.e.-not using substances and sexual behavior). I think that your past and being able to identify the ways that you coped that were detrimental, shows that you have a large amount of insight and drive that will help you succeed when you leave DOC. I cannot fully understand the challenges of your situation, but I can empathize with your struggle.

As a clinician, your insight and intelligence is one of the greatest tools you have and I believe in the proper setting (mainly outside DOC) that you could begin to address your issues and learn new behaviors. You are clearly capable of learning new behaviors and beginning to develop new ways of looking at your environment to benefit you in a positive way. I do not want to discourage you, but sometimes waiting to address your issues in an environment personally conductive to change is a better option. Maintenance right now is the priority, especially refraining from hurting yourself, working to maintain charge free behavior, and setting goals that your can work on when you leave DOC. We all have our boundaries and limitations and have to learn to work within those.
. . .

For those who got lost in the words, what she really said was: Your right. You can't work on your problems until after you leave prison. For now, get by the best you can, but you're a smart man, you can do it by serving as your own clinician.

I've shared this exchange with you so you can see from hard evidence that prisons wouldn't provide psychological treatment to someone who was willing and very capable to receive it.

Now you can better comprehend why so many convicts don't learn how to be better people while they serve their sentence.

The citizens must change this by forcing political figures and policy makers to change the way prisons operate.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Getting Better Makes Prisoners Worse

Today I must announce a change of plans. Yesterday, I promised two posts: an update to yesterday's, including the story voted for via reader poll, and a new post for today. However, I'm unable to post the winning genre because readers want to hear about my struggle to establish myself after release. Its impossible to tell that story because I agreed to have that story published in the "Think Outside the Cell Series" due out in July.

Instead I will share a two part report on what prisons don't do to help inmates prepare for society. Below is an essay I forwarded to a psychologist while I was in prison. I had only a few months remaining on my sentence then. Tomorrow I will post her ridiculous response.


Getting Better Makes Me Worse
by:
Tion Terrell

I needn't argue that this environment is conducive to psychological deterioration. Nor need I point out that I'm in this segregated prison as a consequence of psychopathic/sociopathic behaviors. Ironically however, I must assert that negative effects of prison are intensified with every progress towards healthy psychological readjustment.

We know my pathological state is the result of gross childhood neglect and sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. This in addition to chemical substance use starting at the age of 4. These happenings were followed by a continual increase in destructive indulgences. Now, at age 33, I struggle to cope with my prison life after having my psychological and emotional development hampered.

Over the years some progress has been made. Though I still display poor impulse control, I do understand the drives behind my impulses. I recognize the nature of my counterproductive beliefs and have begun to adjust those. I also recognize and can sometimes check activities that lead to irrational thoughts and behaviors.

I'm not sure as to whether or not patting myself on the back for such progress is beneficial, so I try not to think about that. I know dwelling on the work that needs to be done is not healthy! The latter can leave me feeling overwhelmed at times and this tempts me to give up. Doing the former, in the past, has let me feeling too comfortable which caused me to let my guard down and relapse.

Recurrent epiphany is an oxymoron applicable to the recalled understanding that the more psychologically healthy I become, the more painful my current situation is. Aside from food, clothing and shelter, none of my basic human needs are met. While being preoccupied with frivolous and often irrational pursuits I can ignore this condition. When I focus on growth and mental stability, awareness of these deprivations overwhelm me.

At such times I'm faced with a cyclical dilemma. I've always dealt with pain by indulging in chemical abuse or sexual activity. There are few drugs available here and I abstain from them all - including prescribed medications. The most satisfying type of sexual gratification is masturbating while occupying a woman's attention. This "jacking" has become an addiction too, having replaced plain old masturbation.

A more recent and original epiphany is that I enjoy exposing myself because I get to feel desired while the woman watches me. The fact that I get into trouble most often because women willingly participate on some occasions and then write charges on others is a phenomenon I'll never comprehend. It is also one that, up until now, has occupied much of my mental energy. It has also produced frustration that has led to aggression.

Guilt and self disappointment felt towards my inability to stop this behavior has caused anger and self-loathing. There is also a great deal of hatred and anger felt towards R.O.S.P. personnel and the atrocities they commit. For the latter there are no productive means available to address the situation. At least not at this time.

So here I am oscillating between anger and hatred at circumstances I can't effectively alter and anger and hatred for myself for the way I handle pain caused by my segregated incarceration. If I change the way I cope with my emotions-which I'm determined to do-I must then suffer greater pains inflicted by the reality of deprivation of healthy productive social interaction, emotional support, affection, intimacy, and sexual relations, etc.

Since we know such deprivation is the primary cause of psychopathology, where does this leave me?
. . .

Here you have it. As raw as it comes, a man begging for help. You won't believe the response I got. See you tomorrow.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Humpday Entertainment

Tonight I have to do something different. Instead of just displaying poetry of my choosing I will give my readers the opportunity to chose a genre they would like to read from my collection of short stories and poetry. All future "Humpday Entertainment" posts will be written either by myself, local talent, or by inmates.

Please email me at the address displayed on my badge with your choice. Supaman business card holders are welcome to call me at the number displayed below my address. Tomorrow, I will add a selection from the genre chosen by the most participants in this poll to this post.

I will of course post a new blog tomorrow as well.

I thank all my readers for their support. I'm giving you this option so that I can share writings you want to read. This blog is for you after all.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

The Way I Love

Something funny happened today. I talked to a friend of my first love. Of course I thought about that girl. I never met another woman who loved me the way she did until I met the woman I'm with. I met the latter via mail while in prison. This is a funny story.

I had a dream about two red haired women. The next day, I told someone about the dream. He gave me the address of a red haired woman he stumbled upon. I wrote Crystal and 15 months later here I am.

But anyway, my first love was something no man could forget. I, however, was a dirt bag. I damn near ruined her life. Not to mention cheating, and other crimes against her love.

The next relationship I dedicated myself to lasted only 6 months. It ended with me at the lowest point in life and well on my way to prison.

I went to prison believing I had a son. A month after I get out after serving 9.5yrs, I'm told the child wasn't mine. I'm still dealing with the weird since of loss.I was told she couldn't get pregnant at all. I also took the blame for her failing her college courses although I had always been told she was on top of her grades.

The sad thing is I'd gone into the relationship doing my best to correct all the mistakes I made while with my fist love.

Now I'm looking back on my relationships. This includes my present ones. The past includes today.

I know how to love. I believe in taking care of the people I love just as much as I take care of myself--whenever I can that is. I learn from each days experiences.

A man in my position must protect his heart. I'm afraid not to explain how fragile it is. Its the only way anyone can fully appreciate how serious I see matters of the heart.

I have enough trial and tribulation in my life. Loving someone shouldn't cause me pain. I'm not naive enough to believe a relationship is pain free. The act of trying to love someone shouldn't hurt though.

Besides, I love hard. I believe in being all that I can be when it comes to goals and for those I love. In my intimate relationship, I must have the opportunity to express my love. I need a woman who can appreciate and reciprocate my love.

It amazes me that this type of woman is so hard to find when I here so many crying "A good man is hard to find."

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

Two Families

On Easter I had dinner at my pastor's house. He and his talented wife invited her mother, a small family, and of course myself. It was the first time I sat down to dinner with so many people in the presence of alcohol (there was a bottle of Merlot) without a fight breaking out.

Yesterday I had lunch with my two best friends from church. We had quite a time. I enjoy loving people without there being strings attached.

Today I did some thinking about my life and I realized I have two families. The friends I have at church are one family. My other family is biological. These are the people that I was referring to when I wrote "Dysfunctional."

I don't think I can ever get over sitting in prison for ten years without reading a single letter from my family. One exception was my cousin Regina. She was there for me when she could be.

I explained what a true friend is some time ago. I guess now I need to talk about family. This is therapy for me and advice for my readers.

True family are even more concerned about your well being than the friends I described in the post "All Your Friends Aren't Friends." True family accepts your faults while encouraging and guiding you towards working on them. They are also patient while you work to better yourself.

They don't demand that you do things their way or on a schedule they choose. The don't insist that you believe they know everything either.

You can tell when you are around true family because it feels link a deep breath of fresh air as long as you're with them. It wrenches your heart when you part ways. This is not to say family won't pluck each others' last nerve. You can love and be there for people when you don't like everything about them.

There aren't many real families that I've seen. However, I'm not stupid enough to disregard the fact that my little world is not the whole wold. I know the reason behind the dysfunctional families and their fake people is simple.

Selfishness.

We have to be able to put others before our unnecessary desires. No one should put another person before legitimate needs of their own, but we often confuse wants with needs.

I want you all to think about the people you call family. Then I want you to think about how you all treat each other.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

A Little Poetry

A Lovely year

You are my seasons.
For reasons I can't explain.
Your smile is like the spring.
My heart is the barren desert waiting for your rain.
Your voice is the sunshine.
The light that gives life to the world.
Your laughter is the summer breeze.
The waft of seductive breeze that makes life sweet.
Your strut makes trees sway.
Leaves fall in your wake.
Your bosom beckons like the full moon on a chill cloudless night.
Your touch is the winter wind that bites into my spine.
The sensation overpowers me.
Bitter sweet pain igniting undeniable lust.
Ooh! Your grace!
The lightening that strikes during Spring's first storm.
The world awakens to embrace life anew.
Its four seasons dictated by the sun.
Mine revolve around you.

Dysfunctional

We all live our lives different ways. Most people, however, live their lives in a pattern similar to the way we learned to live by watching those around us when we were little. That may not be a bad thing. If you lived in a dysfunctional environment or around a dysfunctional role model or two, it may not be good for you.

Unfortunately the latter is more common than the former.

Dysfunctional: abnormal or unhealthy behavior within a group--Webster's Dictionary

Healthy behavior is that which I've described throughout this blog. The mates taking good care of one another, and each of them doing their parts to insure the children are growing and developing into healthy human beings.

Its a shame that so many homes in America are dysfunctional. This truly is the land of plenty. The true problem is that there are too many distractions. Too few people care about the purpose of life, and their responsibilities. Once a parent fails a child, the child's emotional, psychological, and intellectual growth is retarded. This retardation is rarely recognized until its too late to correct it by means at the average person's disposal.

This is usually the parent, or parents, who says a variation of "I just don't know whats wrong with my child."

If not corrected, the child's retardation produces a dysfunctional adult. This dysfunction leads people to find mates just as screwed up as themselves. These people find healthy productive people uncomfortable to be around. These people also beget children they will teach to be dysfunctional.

Haven't you known someone who was just plain old messed up, and no matter how hard you tried you couldn't get them to behave themselves. That person was either playing a game successfully, or they were dysfunctional. Chances are it was the latter.

The danger in being dysfunctional is that you will usually shoot yourself in the foot once you have an opportunity to improve your life. You are trapped in a vicious cycle of failure that you probably don't even recognize.

Remember all the lessons I've shared about thinking clearly, how to chose friends and lovers, how we should treat each other, and how to raise healthy children? Its hard for most of us to even treat ourselves well if we don't break out of habits and behavior patterns programmed into us as children.

In order to break these habits and behavior patterns, one must stop and see themselves for who they really are. That's more than most people are willing to do. Some can't do it. It takes a rational logic that they simply don't have. It also takes fortitude.

Do you think whores and sluts admit to themselves what they are? What about losers and deadbeats?

I rest my case.

I love my readers, and I'm not name calling. Please don't personalize the above examples. I only wanted to help you see how easy it is for people to lie to themselves.

Are you ready to face who you really are, and to grow up?

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

What is Child Abuse

Today, I'm compelled to address a matter I feel very strongly about. I know a great deal about child abuse from my upbringing. By age 5, I'd been drunk, and smoked cigarettes and marijuana. That's trivial compared to the psychological torture, neglect, emotional battery, physical abuse, and sexual molestation I suffered.

Any mental health professional will tell you a childhood like mine will likely produce an adult like the man I used to be. Addict. Delinquent. Treacherous. Deceitful, etc.

My warning to you all is be careful with your children. No sane person would subject their child to the terrors I suffered, but most people who subject children to abuse do so out of ignorance.

I'm here to teach you better.There are so many forms of child abuse I can't even address them all here. I will, however, address the most common forms that some may overlook.

Lets look at spanking first. I won't suggest that people shouldn't discipline their children in this manner. I don't believe doing it would be necessary if parents took the time to understand and communicate with them. My problem with spanking is the common occurrence of parents beating children due to anger, and the spanking of children without the parent explaining to the child why they are being disciplined. Both of these situations teach children to display violence when they are angry. The child won't learn the intended lesson this way. What they'll learn is to be mischievous and not get caught.

Parents have to be patient. Preferably, patient enough to wait until they are mature enough to be good parents before having children. I've seen many people neglect their children by not educating and nurturing them. In the early years, children need to be taught independence, respect, and self-love. Most parents don't teach children these things , but then turn around and expect the child to be well behaved. When the child doesn't live up to this unreasonable expectation, they get punished for it.

You must be patient and understanding. Infants are totally dependent. Toddlers are naturally curious. Juniors test boundaries as they discover their independence. Parents have to meet the needs of the child in each stage of their psychological development. Too many people fail their children in this regard. This too is abuse.

Lying to your children to protect them is also abuse. Trying to keep them innocent is abuse. Children deserve to be prepared for the cruel world they inherited and the predators they will encounter. Ignorance is only bliss for the sheltered, but no one can be sheltered forever. When reality catches up with naive people, they get crushed. This means you have to stop painting the picture of a pretty world for your children. Or, do you want them to be victims of others' games?

Like always, I ask my readers to get out of their emotions, and to think rationally. I welcome apposing arguments, but I don't care for rationalizations for irrational beliefs and behaviors.

As for those who abuse children for personal gratification, please get help. Something is terribly wrong with you. It would be wise to avoid me and others who think like me. We believe in righteous indignation.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

Fun Last Night

I had a blast at the St. Louis Poetry Slam last night. The crowd was smaller than what I was told was the norm, but at least there weren't any ugly women there. In fact, that alone says a lot about the event.

The venue was The Focal Point. A cozy auditorium style structure with a stage up front. The hosts were energetic and humorous. Pretty good poets too.

I didn't compete. I judged instead. I recited a poem after the winner of the night was chosen. I think it was received well. Or, maybe the crowd was being courteous when they applauded me. You can never really be sure.

I'm returning next month to compete. The poetry I heard was thought provoking as well as entertaining. I have my work cut out for me, but I intend to make it to the national competition. I am Supaman after all.

I want to say "I love you." Thee are persons out there who know this applies to them, as well as how it applies to them. I don't need to say anything more about that.

Having said this, I can close. I'm tired my friends. I work really hard now-a-days, and I was up late last night. Good night my friends.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

Humpday Entertainment

Today Humpday Entertainment presents Mr Charles P. Akers

Address:
Charles Akers# 1193127
Red Onion State Prison
P.O. Box 1900
Pound, Va 24279

To------

The greatest pain comes from that which was once my greatest pleasure:
You.

Abandoned in my time of greatest need by the one I would have done anything for:
You.

Once, my only salvation in the treacherous storm that was my life:
You.

Now only a memory, and the cause of my heartache:
You.
. . .

Enchanted

How lucky is he that be given the gift of communing with perfection.
Indescribable,
but still condemned to this attempt,
feeble though it is,
to transcend this barrier with timid words and trite and lonely as I.

But, try as I might, I come up blank.
Because some things cannot be confined by words;
but know that every day,
every syllable, every glance, every touch,
only intensifies the enchantment.

That is the utmost perfection:
Personified you.
. . .

I met Charles while I was warehoused at Red Onion state prison. I call him friend. Feel free to contact him. I'm sure he'd appreciate it. And, get used to the name. He's about to do great things.

Big Things Await

Tomorrow I visit St Louis for "The St. Louis Poetry Slam." I don't know if I will compete, but I will be there. I may want to observe the event and then compete in the next one.

Overall everyone, I must say life is good. I have my problems. The world has its problems. Still, Life is good.

We must be mindful that all things shall pass. The good and the bad. No matter what problem arises, life goes on. Take a deep breath when things are ugly and just think. There was a saying that went "Stop and count to ten." It applied to controlling anger. Yet, it works for all situations.

Counting to ten forces the person to think, which slows down the chemicals in the body that may result in potentially rash behavior. At times when a person needs to think, these chemicals may effect thought patterns and feelings that cloud judgment.

Love is definitely one of the emotions that make us do crazy things. Anger is one too. We must all be careful not to allow our emotions rule us. The power of clear thought could never be underestimated.

If you doubt the importance of clear thought, then think about people who abuse their children, there mates, or even themselves.

I encourage you all to take the time to stop and think more often. I have yet to share anything in this blog that I don't know to be the truth. That will not occur. You don't have to know me to know whether or not I can be trusted. You can know the tree by its fruit. My life is here for you to review. Besides, this is the world wide web.

I will close for now my friend. I have something special plans for "Humpday Entertainment." Stop by tomorrow.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Thank You Everyone

The response I received for " A Letter to a Friend" almost leaves me without words. That's hard to do. I'm a little overwhelmed. Its a big change from getting criticized for being egotistical, and being falsely accused of putting myself above other men.

My friends at home and on the web are very supportive. That makes me sad because there's not enough of me to go around. It wouldn't be fair to my readers if I focused on my personal relationships too often in this blog. Even if my web-friends didn't mind, not even Supaman can express all the love I feel with words alone.

I blog for one reason: We have to change society so that the youth can have a worthwhile future. We have many socio-economical problems to resolve if we are to be successful.

I write about relationships because they are the foundations of our families. I write about women because they must be the backbones of our families. I write about crime and incarceration because someone needs to tell the real story. I write about life so we can all grow together. I write about myself to show the world I'm still a human being despite my past which I'm not proud of.

The world needs to know who Supaman is.

I'm posting this blog tonight because I feel I have an obligation to show my appreciation to my friends. Life is empty without friends. I know this all too well. My family abandoned me while I sat in prison. So did the women who claimed to have given birth to my children.

I cried this morning when I thought about all the love I have in my life now. I don't know what to do with it all other than to draw strength from it while I work. I work to build a financial future. I volunteer to help those who need it. I write to make the world better. However, I work the hardest at making sure I take care of the ones I love.

I wish I could meet all the needs of all my readers, but not even Supaman can do that. I'll do all that I can though. My life is hectic, but I manage to write for you all everyday. I wish I could do more for you, but all I can do now is work toward a future that will enable me to do that. I have to be mindful that life doesn't always give you what you want. We are only guaranteed what we need and deserve.

I will close for now my friends. Know that I will continue to be here for you in every way I can.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Our Leaders are Fakes

A friend clipped an article from the April 15th, "St. Louis Post-Dispatch." The article's title: "Bill Sets Goal of Fewer inmates. The gist of the report is R. Senator Matt Bartle and Supreme Court Chief Justice William Ray Price Jr. are pushing for the reduction of state penitentary inmates by 2000 over the next two years.

The following quote gave me a lot of hope. "Price said the state couldn't afford to keep warehousing non-violent prisoners rather than treating the reason many of them are locked up: alcohol and drug problems."

The plan is: "We need to save the criminl justice system for those who need the most attention," says Joe Mosely, a former senator and prosecutor.

The article explains, "The crimes that fit the categories that would avoid prison time include offenses such as writing bad checks, fraud, drug possssion, the first offense of drunken driving and some property damage crimes.

Here's the kicker. "Also included is the first offense of sexual misconduct with a child.

What in Hell are they thinking!

Surely all those well educated politicians know it takes a sick individual to expose themselves to a child. Why wouldn't such offenders qualify as "those who need the most attention?" There must be quite a few of them if there inclusion in the bill will save the state a portion of 26 million a year.

And, what about the victims? Life long damage is likely to be suffered from such a traumatic ordeal. These guys are saying "Lets slap their offenders on the wrists since it will save money."

What is America coming to? How much longer will citizens stand by and let politicians flush our lives down the toilets for the sake of profit. Not the average citizen's profit, mind you. Profits for those who are already filthy rich.

This year indecent exposure to our children is not serious. Next year it might be molesters, rapists, or who knows what other crimes they might claim are too expensive to protect society from!

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

A Letter to a Friend

I owe you thanks because I'm fortunate to know you. And, because when I laid down to sleep last night my heart fluttered like it did when I was a kid on Christmas Eve. Because when I woke up this morning I replayed our interactions in my mind and a warm feeling came over me that forced me to smile both inside and out.

I owe you thanks because as I write this I feel the sun shining on me even though it has already set. Because whenever I stop to think, I will have you to consider.

I owe you thanks because I have new hope. There is someone out there who will stand behind me throughout my struggles. Because I have someone to appreciate my tenderness, while still acknowledging my manly strengths.

I owe thanks because only a few months ago I was ready to give up on my dream of finding someone to love, appreciate, honor and cherish just because you are who you are. And, because I thought no one would accept me after 10yrs of prison. I again have reason to believe the world is beautiful and that we are all entitled to happiness. All my pent up passion, desire, intimacy, and loyalty has a worthy subject.

Most importantly, I thank you for being a reminder to count my blessings. There are people out their who live their whole lives hoping to find the joy and hope you've given me. Most don't know what they're looking for, but if they ever feel the things I've been feeling since you came into my life , they'll know what life is meant to be from that moment on.

Thank you for forcing me to feel so many beautiful things. You've thawed a heart that spent nearly a decade icing over and given me reason to believe in happiness again. Though only time will tell how close we will become, I want you to know I truly appreciate how you've changed my life in such a short period of time.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

A Look Back cont.....

Yesterday, I gave you all the first part of an essay I wrote while in prison that explains the plight of prisoners who want psychological treatment. There is none available to them. I left off in the middle of my rebuttal against the mental health and treatment personnel's claim that personality disorders can not be cured.

Now I shall continue:

In the above book, it is explained in an evaluation of Hienz Kohut,s (arguably the second Sigmund Freud) writings that in the psychoanalitic cure: "Empathy must pervade both crucial steps[transference-for the patient the therapist becomes a continuation of an early adopted false reality that could not be transformed into solid psychological structures; and interpretation-the therapist via sharing the patients experiences through the use of imaginative or sympathetic feelings is able to explain the patient's unhealthy beliefs and perceptions and does so repeatedly until the patient learns to adopt healthy realistic perceptions of self and the world] that constitute the ultimately curative interventions of the analyst" p.192

Kohut's writing was "How does Analysis Cure?" University of Chicago Press 1984

Dept. of Corrections Officials hide behind the common erroneous belief that only Mental Health Disorders (bipolar, MPD/DID, and scizophrenia, etc) require treatment. Inmates with these illnesses only receive medication and physical behavioral control. Personality disorders are seen as mere behavioral problems to be addressed by security staff. In Virginia and other prison systems, this philosophy usually results in long term segregation and other, more capricious and often unlawful, punitive measures. This abuse further aggravates the inmate's condition, producing more psychopathic behaviors.

However, if society wants convicts prisons release to it to be better people than they were upon getting arrested, then citizens must insist that law and policy makers pressure prison officials to facilitate effective mental health services to inmates.
. . .

Now that I've shared this essay in its entirety, I beg all my readers to go over each of the parts and consider what I've shown you. I'm not calling anyone dumb. I'm just trying to make sure you understand how desperately prisoners need mental health treatment and how crafty prison officials are at making excuses for not providing it.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

A Look Back

Many of my friends, old and new, have asked me to get back to my roots in this blog. I'm going to grant those requests tonight. I sincerely apologize for posting so late, but I'm a very busy man.

I will share an essay I wrote while in Red Onion State Prison. I'm sharing it because its important that I explain the plight of prisoners who want psychological help, but can't get it.

Its amazing that no one has bothered to investigate why criminals return to crime. Now, I'm going to explain it. You may need dictionaries because in order to explain psychology I have to use a little psychobabble.

Another Prison Fraud
by:
Tion Terrell

Its disappointing that inmate effort to communicate mental health problems to R.O.S.P Mental Health Dept. is in vain. Its apparent that we're expected to correct our behaviors on our own while in segregated housing units. Yet, it is well known such an environment is conducive to psychological deterioration in even persons with normal personalities.

Dr. David Burns, a pioneer of Cognitive Therapy, from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine writes: " If a person were condemned to spend months in isolation, cut off from all normal activities and interpersonal relationships, a substantial depression would result. Even young monkeys slip into a retarded, withdrawn state if they are separated from their peers and confined to a small cage." Feeling Good: The New mood Therapy, p.76, Signet Books

How then can a person with a personality disorder be expected to treat/cure themselves under conditions so close to the above?

I've experienced and witnessed Mental Health and Treatment staff asserting, during many discussions, that only inmates can solve their behavioral problems and they can be offered no cure. Meanwhile, it is known that we suffer disorders like narcissistic and antisocial personalities, etc.

I refute these assertions by quoting Richard D. Chessick M.D., Ph.D: " All authors agree that narcissists[people who manifest a sense of self-importance with exhibitionistic need attention and admiration, feelings of entitlement, lack of empathy for others, and interpersonal exploitativeness and for whom disappointments often lead to uncontrollable rage and sexual acting out] cannot experience a therapist as an independent person or relate to the therapist realistically, although therapist disagree as to the reason for this. They also agree that the treatment of these individuals is a long one, and stressfull or the therapist." Psychology of the Self and the Treatment of Narcissism, p.8, Aronson(1985)

. . .

I demonstrated long ago in my post "Theory of Institutionalization" prisoners need treatment. I'm in the middle of explaining battles that get fought by people who want treatment and don't receive it. I'm stopping here because it necessary to let some readers take their time to fully appreciate the information given here.

Bottom line: prisoners get no help. They are made worse then sent back out into society.

This essay will be concluded tomorrow.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

A Cure for the Education Crisis

Yesterday I asked my friend Kristine for a suggestion for a blog topic. She said I should write about the State of Illinois' decision to eradicate Pre-K from its public schools. In less than 30 seconds she sold me on the subject's importance by explaining that Pre-K is designed to identify potential problems in children that may hinder their learning in school, and to correct those problems. She argued that without Pre-K, many kids will start kindergarten at a disadvantage they may never overcome.

I can't put it any better than that.

However,I will point out a solution. Parents need to begin children's educations long before they reach Pre-K age anyway. People like to say President Obama is stupid, but even he says educations can't be left in the hands of public schools.

A child's mind is a sponge. It soaks up whatever they are exposed to. Unless a child has a learning disability, rearing in a way that intellectually stimulates them will produce bright children, knowledgeable adults and likely wise elders. We know this because the opposite is also true. A child that suffers a chaotic upbringing will develop emotional/psychological problems that may range from behavioral disorders to severe mental illness.

Some of my readers have commented that I'm brutal. They say this because I point out facts that are hard to swallow. Still, no one has been able to dispute my assertions with rational logic.

I don't blog to please people. My obligation to the world is to spread the plain truth.

Parents need to get off their rears and help their children develop intellectually. It begins with speech. Baby talk may sound cute, but doing it hinders the child by not challenging its mind and mouth to develop fully because of verbal shortcuts. Some children continue to use baby talk at ages 2 and 3 although proper articulation is well within their capabilities.

Next we have TVs and radios poisonings to overcome. These instruments of seemingly harmless entertainments plant all sorts of ideas in our children's minds while parents sit by and watch. These same parents end up wondering why their children turned out "bad" when they raised them so well.

Truth is, they didn't raise the children. Media outlets did.

Then there are the bad influences of peers. Well parents, if you raise your children with solid values like respect (for themselves and others) honesty, and compassion, etc., perhaps they wouldn't enjoy the company of peers who lack those same values.

"Do as I say and not as I do", doesn't work when raising children. It's easier for them to immolate what they see than it is to do what they have been told.

I would like to see all parents be as eager to take responsibility for their children's faults as they are to accept credit for their children's successes. Better still, why not be proactive and take the time to read to your children and teach them basic things like proper speech, alphabetical and numeric recognition. Instill morals and manners in them. Teach them self-respect and make sure they have healthy self-esteems.

Why wait for schools to take up the slack after you've failed your own children.

Do you love your children or not.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

To My Faithful

Dear Friends;

Today was an excellent one. I spent it with my church family. I volunteer daily, and I do the landscaping. It feels good to be appreciated.

Now, I must reflect on yesterday's blog. I'm sorry for anyone whom I may have offended. My purpose was not to be explicit. I don't think I was, but some may be conservative. Or, some may not understand that it was a a part of a series. In fact it may have even been a climax, so to speak.

But anyway, today has been a long one of hard work. I simply lack the energy to concentrate on a text worth sharing. I have to gather my thoughts. If I took the time to post a significant essay, it wouldn't be available for a few more hours. I hate not doing that, but faithful readers need sleep. I don't just throw these things together.

With that said, I apologize if I have disappointed you. I promise tomorrow will be a post like those that have earned me the name Supaman.

Goodnight.
Supaman Tion Terrell

Appreciating Your Woman

I must give credit where it is due. There are some men out there who know how to show their appreciation for their women. A reader named Jessie told me she has one. I'm one of course. I've known a few others too.

Now, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, you're in the right place.

First of all, you men can't be too tough to take the time to please your woman. She pleases you right? If she doesn't, you should get rid of her. For those of you with women who get the job done, you must work hard to satisfy her.

We are accustomed to labeling such men "Hen pecked" or "Whipped." This is macho foolishness. When you go out of your way to please a good woman, you will get more goodness in return. Its only natural. When she's happy and grateful for the way you treat her, she loves you more. That makes her treat you better.

For you guys who find this shocking, I must assume you will find this hard to practice. Therefore, I'm going to share a few examples from my repertoire.

The easiest show of affection is initiating hand holding. This is especially effective in places where other women are present. It shows your mate you want to be close to her even when there is eye candy available. I suggest taking things a step further with a soft kiss--preferably on her forehead, but on the lips will do.

If you're in a line, stand behind her and hug her close. Pin her back to your chest. Whisper something into her ear while you're at it. "I love you," is nice. "You're beautiful," works too. You can also try, "I'm happy to have you."

There are classic shows of chivalry that ladies still appreciate too. Try opening doors and pulling out her chair. Give her a pet name. You can be more creative than that and come up with a secret sign or word.

Don't forget your Pleases and Thank Yous.

In private you can enjoy one of your woman's most precious gifts. You don't even have to get naked. She could if she chooses to, but its not necessary. Simply lay her down and caress her body. Move your hands slowly with just enough pressure to stimulate her skin. Don't touch her in any way that suggests you may want sex until the first objective is complete.

This objective is pleasant conversation. Your touch will soothe her body. Talking eases her mind, and makes her feel closer to you. Always be careful not to offer advice nor solutions to issues you may perceive as problems unless she asks for such feedback. Women enjoy sharing for different reasons than men do. Men discuss problems to find solutions or to seek validation. Women share to relieve their minds. Remember, she thinks and feels deeper than men do. She has a lot on her mind as a result. We have to be strong and patient enough to be there for them in the ways they need us.

Sex is a different matter altogether. Everyone has unique preferences. However, my personal practices have never failed me. Be very patient during foreplay...


See Author's Comment

...I'm Supaman, but I know there is still more I can learn in this regard. Please share any advice you can. We can all grow together. The point is to learn how to make our lives and relationships more fulfilling in healthy ways.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Who Should Your Children Trust

Dear Friends,

Before I get into the subject of today's post, I must ask my Facebook friends to stop replying to the messages I send with links to this site. I welcome all comments, messages, and suggestions. However, the messages I send out with links to this blog are on "thread." If you respond to these messages, please don't use the reply option on Facebook. Using the reply option sends your messages to everyone on the thread. Noone wants that. People are being upset by this. Already someone posted vulgar language on my wall, and one of my friends removed me from his friends list.

I use threads because they enable me to make coming to this site easier for all of you. I distribute links to many people this way. It helps me to avoid cluttering your walls, and it saves me a great deal of time.

All my readers are free to post things on my wall, or send me messages. You can even write me letters via mail. I must ask that you send a S.A.S.E. because I can't afford to write you all.

Tion Terrell
1099 F Beltline Rd.
PMB 22
Collinsville, IL 62234

I give you my address because I trust you will want to address your questions, concerns, or perhaps comments in a private manner. I have nothing to hide, but my personal story is a long one. I explain why I went to prison in the series that's due out in July. I tell my life story in the autobiography that will follow. Its just easier to get the whole story out at once.

Did you notice that I used the word trust?

That word is taken too lightly just like the word "friend" we discussed Friday. Most people who use it don't value trust enough. They probably don't even know what it means to be trustworthy because of their parents.

The worste violation of trust is often perpetrated by parents who lie to their children. As Americans we learn to get started quite early too. There is Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny,and Tooth Fairy, etc. We tell children not to lie to us while lieing to them.

We might as well say, "Here's how you be a hypocrite."

I know many of you are already justifying this foolishness in your minds. Grow up and get out of your emotions. Think rationally.

This world is hard enough to figure out. Why put your own children at a bigger disadvantage? Why damage the most sacred bond a child can have for the sake of fun?

When a child learns the fantasies they've believed in all there lives aren't real, they have to wonder what else their parents have lied to them about. Of course they aren't mature enough to express this. They are left distrusting their parents and without a way to discuss it. Even if they were capable of talking about the way they feel, they are afraid to call Mommy and/or Daddy a liar.

Now we have a vulnerable child looking for someone or something to trust. Do you really want that for your kids? They may grow up with serious trust issues that will damage relationships and engender poor social skills. You don't have to take my word for it. Talk to a Developmental Psychologist.

Besides, what better way is there to instill in your children "Just because people do this thing or that thing, it doesn't make it right" than to show them how foolish people are form the child's birth?

You can say whatever you want, but I challenge everyone to prove me wrong using logic. What you may feel or are accustomed to doing is irrelevant when it comes to our agreed upon agenda to raise healthier children.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

One Hell of a Day

I'm always open about my life and adventures. I feel I owe that to my readers. Without you all I'm nobody. When I share the details of my life, I'm not doing it to solicit pity. The truth is what it is. I catch hell!

Today my girlfriend received an eviction notice. I knew as soon as I learned about it it had something to do with me. I was right of course.

The owner of the unit my girlfriend rents said she received reports that there were several disturbances and a lot of chaos going on lately. There was also a complaint that there were too many people in the unit.

Noone lives there but she and I. There has never been a disturbance.

It just so happens that the unit's owner is the sister of one of the clergymen I volunteer my time and muscles to at church to distribute food to the needy. When the landlord learned about my charity work, she called her brother and everything was settled. Or so it seemed. Time will have to tell. After all, the allegations were false to start with, and the police were already sent to my house for no reason.

How much can society want from me? If anyone knows, please help me out here.

I'm not angry about what happened. I'm bigger and smarter than that. Everything happens for a reason. Anger will only cloud my judgment when I need to figure out who could benefit from today's developments.

No matter who is behind what happened today, the sad truth is after all I'm doing to make the world a better place, I'm forced to endure petty power struggles that aren't even necessary. I have survived worse though. And, now that I've had time to think, I'm actually amused by all this.

I'll be fine. They don't call me Supaman for nothing.

From my little situation today, I hope you all are left with a since of pride. We will all run into obstacles, but you know from my example that a person can overcome anything if you are true to yourself and work hard to be a better person. You can be proud that you are learning to better yourselves through this blog and its comments. You can be proud that you give your attention to a man who is worth listening to and lives the things I write for you. You can be proud that we are friends and that I'm here to share every lesson my life has to offer.

I thank you for being here for me to share my struggles with. This is therapy for me. Every time I share my experiences and wisdom, I'm repaying the debt I owe to Life for all the things I used to do when I was ignorant.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

All Your Friends Aren't Friends

Friendship is a metaphysical bond between persons who care for each others' well being. We may have buddies with whom we enjoy various pastimes (i.e. talking, sports, video games, drinking/drugging, or maybe even sex) but, friends are something different all together.

There is an example of a friend I'm fond of in the bible. Jesus used the parable of the Good Samaritan to describe the nature of a good neighbor. In this story we see a man who helps a total stranger. This Samaritan was a better friend to the needy traveler then most of the people we spend time with regularly.

We simply take the word friendship to lightly. I can back this up by pointing out that I was released from prison less than two months ago—with nothing but the clothes on my back and a dream. A dream to be a positive influence on society. In less than 60 days I accomplished so much that yesterday my publisher expressed interest in having me travel the country with her to participate in forums regarding the “Think Outside the Cell Series” that features two non-fiction works of mine.

I was able to do this because the people who have come into my life have invested in my well being. My significant other has believed in me since I was a lonely convict with nothing to offer but a promise to be who I said I was. Her family and I had a rocky start, but my determination to live a righteous life and to achieve success, despite my disadvantages and the many obstacles I encountered, won them over. Now they are for me whenever I need them. I introduced myself to church as a beggar and they embraced me in spite of all. There are more than a half dozen others I’ve met since then who have given me a hand up during my struggles.

What must be understood here is meeting these people was not a series of strokes of luck. From day one, I’ve been on a mission to fulfill my dream. Everyone I meet sees this because I walk what I talk. Doing so has earned respect from individuals who can, and have, opened doors.

Some of them I only know by name, but I still call them friends. I have many web friends that are important to me too. They encourage me and take the time to let me know they are concerned.

The most important thing I can share with you in this regard is the way you conduct yourself dictates who will be attracted to you. This determines who your friends will be.

This is so critical because our purpose in this blog and its comments is to engender growth that will improve our lives and society. If you want a better life than what yours currently is, you have to become a better person. Set some goals and strive to reach them. You’ll see who really has your best interest at heart once you begin.

I can guarantee some of your friends will doubt you, ridicule you, and accuse you of wrong doing because you decided to better yourself. For some of you, change may require adopting a whole new circle of friends it will be hard, but you always have my example as proof that the sacrifice is worth it.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Who Got Game

Each of us who seek persons to play the role of significant others have images in our heads of the type of person we want. Some seekers wear their expectations on their sleeves. Some don't even know they are seeking fullfilment from others, nor what image(s) they hope to match until they encounter the one(s) they believe will meet their needs.


Game is the ability to identify what others seek and then match your persona to those expectations. Whether or not having game is admirable varies from person to person. Personally, I believe one should never take more from another human being than they can and intend to repay in some form or fashion.


Game is dangerous. There are many types of games to be played. Most who play them are unstable, selfish, and greedy.

Game is the primary reason why so many of us get our hearts broken by people we once believed were so perfect for us. Gamers are, by virtue, predators. They seek a particular set of flaws and insecurities to exploit. A good gamer can blindside many people at once. All thats needed is thorough understanding of human nature, or an advisor who possesses such knowledge.

Politicians, some preachers, and even gang leaders have this in common.

We all have ideals about what a good person should be and what a bad person is. With these ideals comes the common understanding that good people are somewhat naive. On the other hand, we find bad people intriguing, mysterious, exciting even. Most times, we either want to change them or see bad things happen to them.

Its common to overlook good people. They are usually what we consider boring. We often take them for granted. The bad are usally in high demand and are treated better than they probably deserve in most relationships--this is not necessarily a bad thing. Usually though, gamers will drop a friend or lover when someone else comes along who offers more benifits or simply to indulge in a thrilling chase.

I've been both the gamer and the victim. I've learned the good lose out during these exchanges because they allow themselves to get too involved with gamers before they learn the true natures of who they are dealing with. Most of the time, even after the gamer's true nature is revealed, the victim pretends not to notice because they believe they are in love and will suffer more pain by letting go than they will by putting up with their exploiter.

It takes game to recognize game. Genuine people don't use game so they can easily be sucked in, used, and discarded before ever realizing what hit them.

In the defense of some (probably most) predators, they don't even know why they do what they do. Running game is stressful. One can lose their grip on reality if they stay at it too long. This happens more times than not. As stated above, gamers are usually unstable. They are marked by self esteem issues that caused them to roleplay to fit in and please others. At some point, they learned to be proactive in their manipulations, but they are still insecure people. They derive self-worth from their ability to outsmart others.

Gamers are inconsistant because its impossible to always wear a facade. They have no solid core personality. This means they are sometimes irrational and have the potential to be dangerous. This is what usually attracts their victems. The regular routine of stable secure life becomes boring to many people at some point or another. Gamers offer adventure and thrills. Then too, the taboo associated being involved with bad people makes the liason all the more stimulating.

Gamers appear to have all the fun. They invest a great deal of energy in that illusion's creation and maintenance. Since most people judge others based on appearances, its easy for a skilled gamer to draw others into their web.

What constitutes good fun and bad varies from person to person according to their moral convictions. Whats is important here is that it be said most people aren't what they seem. We must be very careful about who we allow into our lives. They all bring baggage with them when they come. Most of it we probably don't need since we carry enough of our own.

You gamers out there should quit while you're ahead. You're doomed to stumble upon better gamers as you prowl for more victems. Its the way of things. Some call it kharma. The Bible says we reap what we sew. I say God gives us all what we need and what we deserve.

No matter how its stated, the bottom line is we all must be careful to be as sincere as possible in our dealings with others. The peace of mind that comes with sincerity enables one to use their insights to recognize the intent of others who may be dangerous gamers. We must be equally careful about who we befriend and/or get emotionally involved with. If allowed too close, people can ruin our lives and even those of others close to us. Then we're stuck carrying the guilt we feel for having allowed it to happen.

Of course, most people will blame everyone but themselves, although it won't change anything. It will actually cause more harm because such denial is the gateway to insanity.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Hump Day Entertainment

Consummation

Sometimes I wonder if I wake each morning just to think of you.
The love I feel makes everyday wonderful.
My heart flutters when I envision your smile.
My pulse races when I imagine making love to you.
Sharing bodies is the perfect confirmation of love like this.
It's the closest we could every be, which is why I crave you.
I promise to be attentive.
Exploring and relishing everywhere my touch and tongue reach.
Memorizing your likes and dislikes while I discover you.
Perspiration moistens my lips and your wine quenches my thirst.
Nourish me while I encourage eruptions.
Receive me when I dedicate my strength.
I'll move only in the ways you require.
Hold me each time you quake, and be assured of many.
Know how much stimulation is enough, for I'm enthusiastic.
Tell me when to release because I won't until you do.

Follow Up

Yesterday, I published a comment made by an anonymous reader. This comment advised me to avoid judging things based on appearances. This was indeed good advice and I greatly appreciate it. It was implied that I was overreacting to the children’s dirtiness. This tells me I should’ve been more specific in descriptions. I was not as descriptive as I could have been because I didn’t want to criticize my subjects.

The purpose of Easter Sunday’s post was to point out the needs of the impoverished people in our communities. But, since I’ve been advised not to be judgemental, what I’ll do today is talk about the facts.

It’s known the United States government has brought drugs into the country and saturated the black communities with them. The drug epidemic spread, however. Today there are more white drug addicts and dealers than there are minorities in the country. Yet, our prisons are filled with minorities, (predominately black) populations for drug related and/or induced crimes.

When we watch the news, the crimes committed by blacks are highlighted. In impoverished black communities children aspire to be sports stars, entertainers, and criminals; because these are the only professions they believe black people can excel in.

This is not a judgement. I conducted a survey myself. I talked to the kids I wrote about on Sunday. Some were barefooted. The bottom of their feet were black from walking across floors covered with dirt and soiled laundry.

If anyone doubts my assessment of the ghetto, go see one up close for yourself; or are you afraid you might be a crime victim? Send your children to hang out with the children in the ghetto and then tell you what they saw. That’s way too much to ask isn’t it?

My mission as a human being is to encourage other human beings to make our world a better place. I’m wise enough to know I can’t do this by manipulating my readers. I won’t waste our time by calling my opinions facts. There’s enough pain in the world to fill volumes without my doing so.

Ignorance is a disease in our society. Ignorance causes people to destroy themselves, and breed children they will teach to destroy themselves. I’m not just talking about disenfranchised ghetto and rural people. We have obese families, psychotropic drug dependent families, and socially illiterate families in all income brackets.

I write about the world I see as part of my work to build a better world. I might not know everything, but you have my promise that I won’t write about something unless I know what I’m writing.

I love you all and please continue to express your thoughts about my writing. We’re here to grow together.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

Where Do You Stand

Hello Friends.
Yesterday there was a comment posted to my blog in my name that I did not write. I was angry then, but I've learned it was an mistake made by a person I hold quite dear to me. Truthfully speaking it was a profound remark explaining Jesus is always here to fullfil our needs.
Now, I'm not a fan of institutions. I believe they enable and encourage people to be intellectually incompetent.
Even so, I must admit First United Presbyterian Church is the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm not so naive as to believe all that its members do for me is sincerely motivated by their love for Christ. Yet, I know the love I'm being shown by most people there is possible only because they love Jesus and seek his pleasure.
Thus being so, I can only deduce that my life is coming together because of Jesus.
I've always written about my desire to improve the way our society operates. This is supposed to be a Christian country, but prostitution is legal as long as you pay taxes and call it something else. Jesus repeatedly admonished us about the dangers of loving money, but our capitalist economy is based upon greed. Worse, in my opinion, is the evolution of Christianity into prosperity preaching.
Its written that Jesus rode an ass. This is the only mode of transportation I recall Him ever using beside boats. He never asked much from others and He was never concerned with accumalating wealth for any purpose other than distributing it to the poor.
If so many of us are Christians, why does our society work the way it does? America wastes more than 25% of the world's food. WASTES! Yet, there are children who go hungry in all of our states and territories.
Granted, its the parents' responsibility to see to their children's welfare. However in impoverished communities, we have third and fourth generation degenerates that date back to the poisoning of urban communities by government controled drug trade.
Can you really blame the people for their conditions? I think not.
Or, lets look at the poverty in rural America which is predominately white that dates back to the caucasion runaway slaves that were called hillbillies. Can we blame them for their disenfranchisement? Again, I think not.
So where do you stand? Do you consider yourself a believer in God? Do you consider yourself a good person?
What do you do to improve yourself, your life, and your community?
Please answer my questions honestly then look at yourself anew. I promise it will help you grow.
Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Easter Sunday

I'm setting here while my pastor's wife and her mother finish off Easter dinner. I have to say I feel truly blessed right now.
I'm not the overly religious type, but I do believe in God and in helping others. I guess you could say I help others for selfish reasons. I know all the good that I do for others will come back to me.
I've written about all the things that I've been able to accomplish despite my poverty, and background. That speaks for itself.
Yes, I'm definitely blessed!
I spent some time with a friend who lives in subsidized housing community yesterday. My heart ached the whole time I was there. That complacency I wrote about was at its worse. I saw a little girl pull down her pants and urinate outside. I don't know why she did it, but I'm inclined to think she wasn't able to get inside her home. This implies her mother was doing something inside she didn't want her daughter to interrupt.
I don't want to imagine what that might have been.
In addition to that, I saw at least a dozen children, all wearing dirty clothes, who ran around without any direction at all. The most shocking part was that the children were both black and white. Its not like that in Virginia where I'm from.
No matter what color the children, it was sad. I actually feel guilty sitting here on this plush sofa wearing my slacks and tie and waiting to eat a meal fit for kings while the children I saw yesterday are probably still wearing dirty clothes and eating junk.
Life is not supposed to be like this. How is this the greatest country in the world when on one hand you have the second and third richest people in the world, and other the other hand you have malnourished children?
I've focused a lot on women and our relationships in this blog. I explained that I do this because I believe this is where we should start working to address the social problems in America. The goal has always been the same though.
Our children are doomed to oppression that creates criminal mindsets, and I've taken the responsibility to see that this changes.

Lets Be Real

I feel beat down. Every day is a new hustle and grind. I get a lot of everything done except rest. Yesterday, I had the chance to stop and relax. I got myself together just before going off to work.
It felt good to sit down and budget my time. I think this is one of the problems most ex-cons face upon release. We are so used to having someone structure our time for us, we lose our bearings when released into the free world which has no structured boundaries for the individual's time.
Then again, this isn't just a problem of the formerly institutionalized. What we are really discussing here is discipline and peace of mind. It takes discipline to structure one's life. With structure comes stability and security. We can't have inner peace in the absence of security.
Without peace of mind one is prone to make mistakes that are usually counterproductive.
The need for peace of mind takes us back to our relationships. We should want the people who are close to us to contribute to our well being; if only by listening or making us smile. This assistance is comforting. In this comfort, one is then free to think clearly and objectively about whatever needs to be addressed.
The foundation of a healthy productive relationship is communication. This type of communication requires more depth than most are prepared to indulge. Not everyone is good at expressing themselves. Not everyone is a good listener. There is also a problem of comprehension.
Men and women often express themselves differently. The same words have different connotations amongst the sexes. Its sad really because we all have access to dictionaries. If we spoke plain English, it would help alot. The slightest misinterpretation of one word may turn a potentionally fruitful discourse into a waste of time or maybe even a hurtful argument.
Another problem we have in relationships is the sugar coating that occurs when they begin.
I told a woman I was seeing that I don't believe in lying to children so I won't tell my kids that Santa Claus exists. She shrugged it off like most people do with potential problems when they are anxious to get on with falling in love. When she got pregnant, we argued many times over whether or not our son would grow up believing in a fat man man who slides down chimneys. It made no sense to me. She knew this was my position on the issue before we'd ever slept together.
Looking back reminds me this woman said she couldn't get pregnant because of a partial hysterectomy. Worse, she stopped writing me and relocated without informing me while I was in prison. The worst of it is I sent her an email shortly after my release to tell her I intend to locate my son and visit him on his birthday only to get a response telling me he wasn't my son.
Talk about getting crushed!
I must accept responsibility for not choosing my mate more wisely. We all must take responsibility for our roles in creating our problems. If we don't, we'll never grow.
Its a part of knowing one's self. This is a whole other topic in itself. Maybe I'll address it in the future. Its safe to say, however, that most people don't know themselves. They lie to thelmselves about their faults, mistakes, and responsibility for their own unhappiness. They believe these lies too. This makes it very easy to pass the lies off to others as truth.
We've all known some compulsive liars.
People who are true to themselves and who know what they need from others find it easier to recognize those who play games.This is because they can be observant instead of wasting time concentrating on running game of their own.
I write this for my web family because I believe we all have a right to lead peaceful, productive, and joyous lives. We can all have this if we are true to ourselves and careful when we choose those we allow to play roles in our lives. The goal is to surround one's self with real people who compliment us, and who are concerned about our best interests.
In order to suceed at this, we must be real with ourselves first.

Always Real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Love Thoroughly

Today, I want to talk about the way I feel a man should love a woman. I've made it plain in previous writings that loving is an activity. We are going to discuss some examples of those activities.
First, lets begin with the morning. Show her you love her with some tenderness and affection. This doesn't have to lead to sexual activity. In fact, it shouldn't unless she indicates that's what she wants to do. Go into this intimate experience with the mindset that you only want to please her. If the woman wants more complete satisfaction once things get going, please her by all means without intercourse if possible.
The mission here is to show her you are dedicated to her pleasure and satisfaction.
Tell her how you feel in a way that's creative and thought provoking. Everyone is not a poet, I understand, but you know your woman well enough to know which words to use to stimulate her. At least you should.
I'm going to do you all a favor and share a little something of my own. You can use it if you want as long as you don't distribute it for profit.
I WILL sue for copyright infringement. LOL
Throughout the day, remind her that she is special and that you appreciate the little things. Isn't it heart warming when her eyes give you that special smile? Isn't it cool when you stare so deeply into her eyes you see your reflection? What about the sounds she makes when realizes she just came up with something clever? Isn't there at least one dish she makes that you like so much no one else can make the same food taste the way she does? Well tell her about it.
Even if that one dish is the only thing you feel she can cook.
Here's that piece. Feel free to use it to get some brown nose points, fellas.


Morning Thoughts of You

The morn is young my love. I'm thrilled at this new opportunity to learn more about you, and to partake of the beauty God has bestowed in you. I've found joy in your person, worthiness in your love, and strength in your faith in me.
Behold, my love! Take note of the sun as it sets on the quiet eve. Without question, you expect it to return to bring the dawn. Just as you believe air will saturate your lungs when you next inhale. Be assured the same unshakable faith can be placed in my love for you.
For, as the sun giveth light and warmth by God's decree, and the waters of the Earth and Heavens sustain all life, the displays of my undying love shall nourish your soul and fill your existence with comforts and pleasures wherein you shall find bliss.
Does not true love desire only joy and peace for its subject? Did not the wise King Solomon state, "A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul?"
How then could I not, as a man who loves you with indescribable vigor, approach the grave that awaits me engrossed in anything other than striving to be the manifestation of all that your heart desires?
Life's nor time's anomalies shan't coerce our love, our commitment, nor our joys. The intricacies of this foul world are insignificant pesterings--like ripples in a placid lake, caused by a small stone, while being viewed from a distant hilltop-- mounted against a bond as strong as ours.
I dare anyone to refute my claims. The mere utterance of such a blasphemous retort will only brand one: a fool. No one can know the emotions that stew in my breast, that hold my heart in a vice so perfectly it climaxes with each beat.
The doubters and disbelievers are none of my concern, for I'm too preoccupied with longing to express my love for you. To strive to persuade those who comprehend not the virtues of love and devotion for the godly attributes they are should prove aught, since misery seeks not salvation but companionship in loathsome mustering therin.
Stand guard my beloved. Though I'm here to protect you from predators and miscreants, seen and clandestine, I am incapable of effecting combat between yourself and your insecurities. That is unless you empower me to aid you by divulging the exact nature of your apprehension.
The foundation of our mutuality must be uninhibited self-disclosure. Love manifested in true form is marked by rational behavior reciprocal with more loving. Thus we build upon and strengthen ourselves and one another.
My love, you are a rare find. You have proven your capabilities to feel, embrace, and DO love. Thus, I need not seek another.
I am forever yours.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Want Better. Do Better.

The most amazing thing I've noticed in the 7 weeks I've been out of prison is complacency. I look at some of the people I encounter and wonder how a person could not do their best to take care of themselves. I know the answer though. When all you catch is bad breaks, it's easy to accept the possibility that you could be meant to lose.
Thats balogna though!
You are what you believe you are. Human beings have the ability to change whatever they want to change about themselves. An exception might be those born with handicaps, but even some of those have overcome their conditions to excel in life.
I hear people whine about the economy all the time. I've also followed magazines that showcased people who made good livings while everyone else cried. Look at me. I found a way to keep my head above water and nobody has hired me in an official position.
If your personal expectations are low, you will never achieve much of anything.
We must be careful though. One's expectations must be reasonable when you set goals. I'll never be a politician, race car driver, nor a sports star. I don't have the skills to aim for goals like that. Even if I had the skills, I'd need opportunity and resources to go with them.
I can write though. I know how to market. I can show some people how they might be able to better themselves and society. So I find ways to make the most out of what I can do.
Today is a perfect example. I had to take a more than 2 hour bus ride to St. Louis, Mo this morning. I went to orientation at the Reentry One Stop Career Center(R.E.O.S). It's a program designed to help ex-cons enter the job market. I went in thinking that I probably wouldn't benefit much by being there, but I never pass up an opportunity to learn. My main reason for going was I'd been provided bus fare by a third party. Not going would've constituted stealing according to my principals.
So I went. It turns out the program manager Bennie West is a man who I could grow to like a whole lot. I love all people. I only like a few.
But anyway, after talking to Bennie, I've come away with what very well may be an opportunity to help create a program in my county that will prevent other ex-cons from facing all the struggles I'm overcoming now. Plus, there is a very attractive and brilliant young woman Tria Washington working for him who is obviously not living up to her full potential. I'd love to have her on the team I'm putting together to push for change in the social conditions that hurl people towards crime.
It all happened because I'm pushing toward a goal. I believe the cause I've taken up is worth sacrifice and the best of my efforts. Because I constantly strive to seek new means through which I may advance my objectives, I'm constantly finding people who will invest faith in me. Anyone can do the same.
Now, some of you want to give credit to God. Of course I wouldn't be as gifted as I am if it weren't for the blessings bestowed upon me. I'm not taking anything away from God when I give myself credit for hard work and accomplishments. I'm only recognizing what I did.
"Faith without works is dead." Remember that?
I'm not so different from anyone else. You can only get what you work for. The best luck in the world can't provide what you need to live a fruitful, productive life. God won't be pouring any more manna from the heavens either.
Take pride in whatever gifts or skills you may have. Learn some new ones while you're at it. Then use what you have in a way that can benefit yourself and others.
If I can pick up the pieces and move on with life while going through all that you know I have, anyone can do it.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell