"Every day is Christmas and every night New Years Eve!"
--Sade
It's funny how love is often found in the bedroom even when it does not exist elsewhere in a relationship. I dare venture to say we have all been there at some time or another. Though few of us recognize when this is happening to us.
So what is love really? Physiologically, it is a chemical reaction in the brain that can be duplicated by certain drugs. None of us really care about that aspect of though do we?
When most of us think of love we think about that powerful emotion that makes us make sacrifices for others' safety, pleasure, happiness, and/or joy.
I get that kind of love and I try to give as much of it as I receive. I usually fall short. Then there are those times when I am scared out of my mind by the way I get attached to others because it is very hard for me to trust people. After all, I have been abused, neglected, mislead and abandoned by all the people in my past. Hell, trying to make friends has led to all kinds of claims and accusations against me since I've been home.
I have long known the first prerequisite of truly satisfying love is the love of one's self. If a person can't get that right they will never be able to express love to another effectively. Not unless their lover has very low expectations. This does happen a lot so some people have little to worry about I guess.
I love myself to the point that some believe I'm arrogant. I really couldn't care less.
Get it?
It isn't easy to love another human being the way they desire to be loved unless that person knows themselves well enough to be able to communicate what their needs and desires are.
Ladies, I know most of you can't wait to find a man who can do that. It's not the man's fault though. More than likely he grow up thinking he shouldn't feel certain emotions. That made him suppress a lot of the emotions that you want/need him to show you. He can't explain what he doesn't understand.
Now there is the part where we all have to be accepting of differences in other. However, that does not mean we have to put up with being miserable in order to be true to the people we love. That is the opposite of loving ourselves.
The most important factor of a healthy joyful relationship is choosing the right person to emotionally invest ourselves in. Unfortunately too many people choose the wrong person to love from the beginning. We stay with them for various reasons. Usually some form of dependency.
Most of us have been there too. In fact, some of us choose our mates as a result of neediness in the first place. We are dependent from the very start.
Are you relationships sweet, sincere, reciprocal and fulfilling?
If it isn't perhaps this should be discussed with those you love. If this can't be discussed with them, then there is probably a problem there that will never be fixed.
If this is so, I'm sorry. I pray that you will find persons to love who fulfill you in every way.
Always real:
Supaman Tion Terrell
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