How many times have my deeds disappointed and then turn around and left you in deep euphoric sleep?
What man has ever amazed and delighted you like me?
I'm not gloating. I just wanted to remind you how good I am at some aspects of this relationship, because I know I totally suck at so many others.
It feels like years since I held you in my arms last. I fall asleep each night thinking of the times we've shared.
The good the bad the ugly.
There are so many things I could've done differently, better, much better. I could've pleased you even more, though you always say that is impossible until it happens.
Still, I didn't pay close enough to things you said, nor to how some of my actions must have made you feel. I keep having flashbacks all the things I said that I shouldn't have and all the things I didn't say that I should have. There are also the things I've done that I shouldn't have and what I didn't do that I needed to.
So many regrets. Too many.
I still don't know what it is within you that enables you to love me in spite of myself.
For this, My Love, I thank you. Thank you for taking the time to give me the love I never knew until I knew you. Thank you for being strong enough to endure the storms that are inevitable in a life like ours.
You've made me better already. I can be better still. We're just getting started.
I'll remind you when your 80.
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