Wednesday, November 28, 2012

We'll See When You're 80

How many times has this mouth angered you and then taken your body to heights you never dreamed you'd reach?

How many times have my deeds disappointed and then turn around and left you in deep euphoric sleep?

What man has ever amazed and delighted you like me?

I'm not gloating. I just wanted to remind you how good I am at some aspects of this relationship, because I know I totally suck at so many others.

It feels like years since I held you in my arms last. I fall asleep each night thinking of the times we've shared.

The good the bad the ugly.

There are so many things I could've done differently, better, much better. I could've pleased you even more, though you always say that is impossible until it happens.

Still, I didn't pay close enough to things you said, nor to how some of my actions must have made you feel. I keep having flashbacks all the things I said that I shouldn't have and all the things I didn't say that I should have. There are also the things I've done that I shouldn't have and what I didn't do that I needed to.

So many regrets. Too many.

I still don't know what it is within you that enables you to love me in spite of myself.

For this, My Love, I thank you. Thank you for taking the time to give me the love I never knew until I knew you. Thank you for being strong enough to endure the storms that are inevitable in a life like ours.

You've made me better already. I can be better still. We're just getting started.

I'll remind you when your 80.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Romantic Monday: Earthly Godess

How can I trust you to be all that you say you are.
To feel the way you say you feel.
To be loyal like you say you will?
I have never known anyone who acts the way that you do.
The way you tell it, you love me more than you love yourself.
More than I love myself.
And loyalty? I have never been loyal to anyone but myself and sometimes, unfortunately, my conscience.
Why do you do things for me that you don't do for you?
Things you know I can't do for you.
I do do what I can do.
But that's not enough to be what a man should do for a woman like you.
I don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm all stages of of evolution all at once.
I look at you and understand how even less intelligent man deduced  you were God.
And then instinct takes over.
I'm overcome with a internal need to prolong human existence and start my new life inside your womb.
Should any beast dare encroach upon the fertile lands I claim as my own he will then nourish the land he traveled to meet you.
I would tame that earth until it bears fruit whose nectar may rival yours in hearty flavor.
I would have those who worship you build a shelter for your rest, My Goddess.
I would raise my club, sword, musket, and machine gun to do war with any who commit sacriledge against thine holiness.
However, I lack faith in that which can not be proven.
I know not which charms have appealed to those who grovel before you.
They seem unaware of my stature in your kingdom.
Had you not belittled your humble servant in their eyes, perhaps they wouldn't be so bold as to challenge me openly.
You would have me believe that I make it up.
Yet I'm no fool.
I know that hearts of man.
I would kill and die for you in the same breath My Beauty.
But you doubt me.
You want me to doubt myself.
How can I have faith in you?