Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Humpday Entertainment: Vol. 2 Art 2: The Scorn of all Women:Part 1

The Scorn of all Women
by:
Tion Terrell


Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. No characters within this work are representative of real people.

Epigraph:

"We are conditioned to look for justice and when it doesn't appear, we tend to feel anger, anxiety and frustration. Actually it would be equally productive to search for the fountain of youth or some such myth. Justice does not exist. It never has and it never will. The world simply isn't put together that way. Robins eat worms. That's not fair to the worms... You only have to look to nature to realize there is no justice in the world. Tornadoes, floods, tidal waves, droughts are all unfair." -

Dr Wayne Dyer, "Your Erroneous Zones" (New York: Avon Books, 1977), p.173


Chapter 1 Jenny
Wednesday 20:55

Captain Jenny James smiled with pride while reflecting on memories of her recent promotion party as she tucked 8 year old Tabby into bed with a soft kiss on her hairline.

"I love you, Mommy," Tabby said as she snuggled into her pink bunny Pillow Pet.

"I love you too Hun." Jenny flipped the light switch as she exited.

As always, Tabby's door was left cracked. Jenny stared from the hallway as her daughter settled in under the down comforter.  Despite the little girl's beauty, Jenny hated the fact she looked so much like her father.

Beautiful or not, Tabby was conceived during rape. Whenever her husband came home drunk, Jenny would not sleep with him. That was the deal they agreed upon. That night he wouldn't take no for an answer. He kicked the bedroom door off it's hinges, then stormed in. She scrambled to rise from bed, but a barrage of fists knocked her down, supine. She tried kicking up at him to no avail. He fell flat on top of her and grasped her throat with a strong right hand.

"Stop it, Bitch," he growled before delivering a left backhand for good measure.

She stopped resisting. He hammered into her repeatedly for hours. His stamina that night was inhuman. He was still erect inside her when he finally passed out.

He awoke wearing handcuffs. Nine years later he was still in prison.

She smiled in Tabby's direction before walking away from her door. That's what she enjoyed about her work. Heading the Ballistic Evidence and Forensics (B.E.A.F.) Unit meant that she could insure that sick bastards who hurt innocents got what they deserved.

Even if it meant bending the rules.

She walked to her bedroom and flopped across her bed. She wasn't tired. In fact, she was far from it. It was invigorating to be who she was.

When she married John, he was the perfect gentleman. She was content being his homemaker on top of being a full time Henrico County Sheriff.  She laughed upon remembering how passive she was back then, at how her father had taught her better than to be submissive to anyone. Yet, she eagerly pleased him whenever, wherever, and however he asked.

She would never be that woman again!

She joined a support group a few months after the rape at the behest of the department's psychiatrist. It was either that or take psychotropic medication which would entail resignation or becoming a desk jock. Neither were a feasible option.

Though reluctant at first, she became a symbol of strength for many of the victims in the group. She arrived at the first meeting a few minutes late, still wearing her uniform. The other women flocked to her. Inadvertently, she taught them all a lesson that empowered them to move on with their lives: If an officer of the law, with all her training, could get raped, the rest of them didn't have to feel sorry for themselves. Maybe it was not their fault after all.  It didn't just happen to the weak and helpless. And, since they really were the victims, they didn't have to feel ashamed.

That was only the beginning. She quickly embraced her role as mascot. Soon she was giving motivational speeches, at meetings and publicly. In turn, the public embraced her. Local politicians began using her to further their own careers. Politics had offered reciprocal gains.  In no time she became a Board Member of the Rape Victims Sisterhood. From there, her next move was to Chairwoman of the Board. Next, she was President. Then pressure on once solicitous politicians moved her up the ranks within the Sheriff's Department.

Politics also introduced her to her first lover since John. Miesha Bowers was now Henrico County's Commonwealth Attorney.  She'd never imagined herself falling in love with a woman.  Never the less a black woman. Miesha was special.  She was brilliant, bold and charismatic.  They hit it off immediately when they chanced upon one another outside the Mayor's Office because they both were single mothers with daughters of the same age.

They met at parks and playgrounds to allow the girls to play together.  The women talked while watching the children play nearby.  Sometimes they visited the other's home for dinner. The girls  often had sleepovers when it was convenient.

It was after one of those sleepovers that the relationship began. While hugging to say goodbye as they usually did Jenny released her inhibitions and kissed her new best friend's plump pinkish brown lips.  She was shocked when their lips touched. She hadn't planned to do it and she didn't expect it to feel so thrilling.

It turned out to be the single most electrifying moment of her life. Miesha accepted it. The kiss lasted for what felt like an eternity. She was surprised to learn later that Miesha had desired her since the friendship began.  The Courtship lasted a few more weeks before they made love. Miesha gave her pleasures she was sure no man ever would or could.

The relationship didn't last. Jenny wanted monogamy. Miesha was in the habit of using all her assets to further whatever her current agenda might have been. They still loved each other after six years, but they never tried to have a committed relationship after the initial break up.

Jenny let out a sigh, then smiled before pulling the scrunchy off her jet black ponytail. She had secrets that could ruin everything she'd worked for. Fortunately for her, she believed, she was now in the perfect position to keep them hidden. Besides, if she ever did have to take a fall, she would be able to live with herself. So what she wasn't perfect. She knew she was doing the right thing even if others thought it was wrong.
.  .  .

To be continued









Monday, December 27, 2010

Romantic Monday Article 2: To Know Beauty

When I look at you, I see my happiness. I see our souls dancing in the space between us.
I never dreamed I would find perfection in a woman.

Sometimes I wonder if you know that simple gestures like our hugs take my breath away. I have to force myself to let go so as not to embarass you. I want to squeeze you so much more tightly than I ever have.
I refrain because I'm afraid I may hurt you. And, I worry about appearances too.

You're a life changing force. It seems you always know what to say to me. Each time I look into your eyes
I'm reminded of how much I desire you.

This is the first time I feel fear about my expressions of deep need and desire for you. I don't want you to think I'm crazy. Yet, if I you did I wouldn't be able to blame you. I can't make sense of what is happening to me either.

How much can you desire someone before it becomes unhealthy? Before you become possessive? Is it foolish or selfish to want to possess another person? Is it as bad if you are also willing to be possessed? I would think that is fair.

The more I'm in your presence, the more magnitized my labido, conscienciousness, and entire soul become. Having realized this, I now understand that the things I feel for you may not be healthy. Many times I've expressed that I can lose myself in you.

For better or for worse, that is no longer a possibility. I'm already lost. I'm yours.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Philosophy Friday Art. 2: Christmas Spirit

I've been depressed all day. Since I've been home from prison, I've worked very hard. Yet, I haven't accomplished all the goals I set for this year. I have personal debt due to several unexpected visits to emergency rooms. And, it seems whenever I make business plans with other parties I get screwed a little.

So, I spent the first part of the day wallowing in self-pity. I received my copies of the Think Outside The Cell Series today, and reading my name in print for the first time didn't even cheer me up.

Then I decided to go to the store to buy some rum. Bacardi of course. So I walked through the snow storm writing poetry in my head. Angry poetry about the hell my life has been.

As I approached the entrance, I met a woman begging for money to get a coat for her husband who doesn't own a winter coat. I told her to find a pen to write down my number so that I could refer them to my church.

After she took my number, they gave me a ride home. Now I'm looking over this laptop's screen at them while I write this, sip my rum and coke, and we all wait for dinner. They will be spending the night too.

I asked the woman how many people ignored her plea for money. She said most people did.

That is a testament of the populaces giving spirit!

I'm proud to say these people would be here whether today was Christmas Eve or not.

Christmas Spirit is supposed to be the attitude of human beings all year.

Prisoner's Voices; Vol. 2 Article 1: Cris Corbin


Dear Friends

Dear Friends,

In two years, half of my life will be have been lived in the shadows of guard towers and barbed-wire. It was in one moment, I came to be here; where fifteen years later at the age of thirty-two, I`ve become well acquainted with remorse and cried a fair share of regrets. Despite the regret and remorse residing in my heart, neither have made it possible to retrace steps; to that one moment at seventeen when my life was swallowed whole by a mistake.

Technically in two years, it will have been a life-sentence for me. Nevertheless this isn`t the sort of life sentence the court intended on December 06, 1996. I reach out to the each of you with the highest hope you will help me conquer the goal in my heart: a second chance.
Friend or not, I want to do my part...and getting something for nothing will never be a part of me.

So individually, I encourage you to support me through a donation of your choosing for my artwork, or craft work. Your donation will go towards my need to hire a lawyer who specializes in post-conviction remedies. Through your sacrifice you will be opening door of possibility... a possibility at a second chance, my only wish.

Sincerely Yours,
Chris

I can be reached via email : www.jpay.com

I encourage you to open a line of communication with me. All ideas are good.

I can also be reached through my good friend Angela, who without her, even this door would be closed.

Poem, Portrait, Drawings, Dream Catchers, Crosses, Bracelets,
Choose available products or have them made from original ideas.-- I`ll deliver on my end.

.  .  .  .  .  .

You can read Cris's blog @ http://convictpolitc.blogspot.com/

Alway's real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Humpday Entertainment

Untitled
By: My lover

You are a dream come true my sweet lover....
You give so much to me...
You wonder if I am ever satisfied...
The answer is yes;
I am overflowing with emotional, physical, and spiritual fulfillment thanks to you my Baby...
You really do it for me;
I am forever grateful...
I love you. xoxox

Angie
By: Trisha Titsworth

You are the object of my desire.
My passion for you is like a fire.
Spontanious combustion.
Internal erruption.
When I am near you,
You don't know what I want to do.
Kiss you like..
I can only breath air from your sweet lips.
Caress you like..
waves teasing the shore.
Splash, splash, splash,
Crash!
Taste you like,
you are the epitomy of decadence.
I want to savor every drop.
I won't stop.
Not until we erupt in sexplosion!

Admissions
By: Tion Terrell

If I could love you more, I wouldn't be human.
A heart of flesh is only capable of so much.

It's quite confusing to have so many intense sensations overpower me when I think of you.

Then again, that doesn't even make sense.
Honestly, I think of you all the time.
I can never concentrate on anything other than you.

Other than us!

There is no me without you.
There is no love.
No world worth experiencing.

Your smile is my sunrise.
Your breath is the sweet morning breeze I pray will greet me at the start of each day.
I wish you were the blood in my veigns.
Sometimes I feel this wish has come true because my heart beats your name.

I often lose myself in memories of your face.
I sleepwalk most of each day because of you.
I replay our discourses instead of paying attention to those around me.

Then there are those times when I can't see the sky.
My eyes won't open because that way it's easier to dream about you.

The words "I love you." are useless.
They can't describe what I feel for you.
But substituting one letter makes the phrase fit.

I live you!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Romantic Monday Article 2: Love Me Senseless

I often ask myself where I would be without your love. I'm so glad this is not a reality I must confront.

You haven't been a part of my life very long, but somehow my whole life is you. You are the joy that fills me when everything else in my life goes wrong. You are the other half of myself that I unfortunately have  been deprived of all my life. I have no regrets about that because it is this deprivation that allows me to fully appreciate the treasures I have in you.

I consider myself a knowledgeable and philosophical man. Yet you continually remind me to avoid arrogance. I still yearn to comprehend the magic that fills the air when I think of you. That magic's intrigue overwhelms me whenever I'm in your presence. The way your eyes smile when you look at me is hypnotic. Sometimes I must force myself to ignore them in order to stay alive. I may sound foolish, but I fear I will melt or something.

There is also the fact that I have never before been so moved while making love. I'm still confused over why I cried so hard. Joy and passion consumed me. I looked up into your beautiful face and listened to the sounds that escaped you lips while being totally submerged in the ecstasy that can only be found when I'm deep within the exotic warmth of your sweet moist flesh.

I do however understand why every great man in the world's history needed an amazing woman behind him. I look forward to my future with you and wonder what heights to which I might ascend. I must be careful though, because I know there are no limits and I run the risk of musing all day.

I have no idea why I have been blessed to be the only man on Earth who can be realistically compared to Cinderella. Nor can I comprehend why you chose me to shower with your amazing love.

Despite all the things I don't know, I am absolutely sure that I love the way you love me. I know I wouldn't be what I am if it weren't for you.

 I know I will die loving you.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Friday, December 17, 2010

Philosophy Friday Article 1: Jesus Wouldn't Like Christmas

I've had many debates about Christmas and only a few of them have been peaceful. 

Christmas is supposed to be a Christian Holiday. Christianity is a religion based upon one's dedication to Jesus Christ. Jesus was a simple man who is reported to have performed many miracles and taught people how to live their lives in ways that please God.

The Christmas traditions consist of several things that I'm forced to deduce that Jesus would not approve of. To prove that I'm not just being a scrooge, I will support my assertion with the words of Jesus from the Bible.

First of all, the Christmas season brings with it a commercial war zone. Christians and non-believers alike spend billions on gifts and decorations each year to celebrate the day dedicated to honor the birth of Jesus.
But Jesus warned us all about being concerned with material possessions.

"You cannot serve God and mammon." (Matthew 6:24) He goes on to explain that we should not concern ourselves with trivial things like clothes, food, nor drink.

Christmas shopping is the exact opposite of this teaching.

Christmas decorations are another aspect of the Holiday that Jesus would not approve of. Jesus would not approve of such gaudiness. Nor of the wasting of money to produce it. He never spent money on himself, and encouraged all to give everything they didn't need to charity.

The pivotal decoration of the season is the Christmas tree itself. Ironically the Bible itself prescribes that this tradition be avoided because it's roots are pagan.

"Thus says the Lord: 'Do not learn the ways of the Gentiles; Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven. For the Gentiles are dismayed at them. For the customs of the peoples are futile; "For one cuts a tree from the forest, the work of the hands of the workman with the axe. They decorate it with silver and gold; They fasten it with nails so that it will not topple. They are upright, like a palm tree ..' "  (Jeremiah 10: 2-5)

Many have argued that this admonition was listed in the Old Testament because the tree described here was an idol. It has also been said that since Christians today don't worship the tree as an idol it is okay for us to have Christmas trees now. However, there is a problem with this logic. Throughout the Old Testament God condemned the Jews for being harlots. This was not done because the Jews sold their bodies. It was because whenever the Jews conquered a land and occupied it they adopted some of the customs of the people. They were harlots in mind and spirit.


In fact Jesus made it very plain that the laws of the Old Testament should be preserved. "Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill...Whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:17-19)   He also states at Matthew 7:21-23 that he will reject those who have done great deeds in his name because they were lawless.

In fact, it is the form of harlotry described above that allowed Christmas traditions to penetrate Christianity in the first place. The responsibility for this evolution is attributed to the Roman Catholic Church. In the Catholic Church's eagerness to spread religion to other cultures, they compromised with the peoples who had many rituals and celebrations that they refused to forfeit. The compromise consisted of allowing the heathen pagans to keep their traditions, but the traditions were renamed and rededicated to important events in Christian history.

This applies to more than just Christmas. The Easter bunny evolved from the worship of a God of fertility whose symbol was the rabbit because the animal was noted for it's reproductive efficiency. The moving of the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday was done because of the worship of a sun god.

Now we come to the issue that plagues my heart the most. There is no way I can accept the tradition of lieing to children about the existence of Santa Claus.  How can a person who seeks to please God lie to their own children in such a way and call it Christian behavior? Is lieing not a sin? Are we not bearing false witness against someone if we attribute their hard work and sacrifice required to buy gifts to a fictional character?

The ninth of The Ten Commandments states: "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."

There are many who would refute everything I've said here by saying that the traditions that have been added to Christmas hold no significance, and that the important thing is that we remember this is a season to show love and bring joy to others.

I'm almost inclined to agree, but I can't even agree with this fully because aren't we supposed to do this all the time anyway.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

I will rest my case for now though I could write volumes on this subject. I beg you to bear in mind that every prophet that God has sent to man was rejected because he was opposed to the people's traditions that ruled their hearts and culture. This is not to say I am a prophet. I know that it is my responsibility to share this truth however. I know I will be hated for what I have written here, but I've been hated and loved alike for worse things.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Prisoner's Voices Special Announcement

The picture above lists introductions to three of the books now available from Resilience Multimedia. There is no better place to post this. Click on the photo to enlarge it and read the descriptions, or view the photos and the book's discriptions as The United Coalition of Advoctes for Prisoners album @

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/album.php?aid=34957&id=136371343051538

These books are compilations of stories written by prisoners and former prisoners and their loved ones.


This photo is the cover of the first "Think Outside the Cell" publication subtitled "An Entrepreneur's Guide for the Incarcerated and Formerly Incarcerated" It speaks for itself.

The books  can be ordered @ http://www.supamanscribes.com/books--ebooks.php

Purchases will fund prisoner advocacy and death penalty abolition causes.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, December 13, 2010

Romantic Monday: Issue 1

Hot Snowy Morning


Music began playing when I regained consciousness.
My heart swelled.
My lips creased in a warm smile.

Your face lingered in the minuscule space between my eyes and their lids.
You were smiling as well.
Your soft lips pursed for a kiss as I bathed in your beauty.

Bliss consumed me just as it always does when in your presence.
Wind buffeted my window.
Frozen flakes tinked on the glass reminding that it was freezing cold outside.

I laughed to myself as I layed there with my soul on fire.
Your expression was curious and delighted.
You giggled with me as if my joy were contagious.

Then your lips touched mine.
Your aggressive tongue slithered between my hungry lips.
I tasted love on your breath.

Our arms reached.
Hands grasped and groped.
Bodies pressed against one another yearning to unite.

My mind drifted to a time not long ago when I last entered Heaven.
Your body contorted so that it could embrace all of me.
I dedicated myself with reckless abandon.

Ooh! The sweet pleasure of your nails piercing my bottom!
Spurred to ecstasy, I vigorously explored the softest place on Earth.
You shouted cheers of encouragement.

As expected, you went rigid beneath me.
A great cry filled the air.
Then suddenly you went limp and granted a sigh of  relief.

I cried inside.
Satisfied that I had met your needs.
Relieved that I finally compensated you for the miraculous joy that fills me on mornings such as this.

I opened my eyes and wiped the sweat from my brow.
Embarrassed by my sudden inability to control my laughter.
Tickled that I find myself indebted to you once again.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Loving is Action

I've written before that loving someone is an action and not a emotion.

I am reminded today how important it is to be conscious of this on a day to day basis. Since my relationship is relatively new to me after ten years of prison, I sometimes do things that can be hurtful without being mindful of them.

I love my girlfriend. That is definite. However, loving her requires a conscious effort to take care of her emotionally, physically, spiritually. This means the two of us have to be mature about expressing our likes dislikes and interests as well as disappointments.

These tasks are more difficult than I ever imaged. Not everyone is prepared to uphold these responsibilities. In fact, many people aren't even aware that these are important aspects of a healthy relationship. And, even when you are aware of their importance, and are mature enough to carry them out, it is still not easy to be mindful of them on a day to day basis. Especially if we don't understand ourselves and our habits.

It is human nature to do some things without thinking about them. Just as these actions may unintentionally hurt our significant others, it is important that the injured party be mature enough to understand that human beings are prone to error. They must also be able to talk through the problems in a way that doesn't agitate the other person.

I truly love my girlfriend I've been waiting my whole life to find someone I can give myself to wholly. I would like to believe she is that woman, but it's still too early to tell. I am dedicated to her and our attempt to make this work. I'm also mature enough to realize that sometimes what we think we want most may not be what is best for us.

I will admit that she is the best thing to happen to me in my 34 years on this Earth. I love her dearly for this. If I could have one wish, I'd wish that I could have found her a long time ago.

To all me readers I beg you to try to learn how to take better care of your significant other.

Love is an emotion. Loving is action! 

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Rainy Day Planning

The weather is not pretty here in Collinsville. It is cold and rainy. I can't let the weather effect my mood however. I am Supaman after all.

I have a lot going on in my life right now. I'm job hunting again, but things look promising. I expect to working by the end of next week. I have yet another book signing to plan for and a whole new marketing campaign for The Hard Journey Home to orchestrate. I have also committed to publicizing the Illinois-Missouri Author's Group and the poetry genre as a whole.

I've done a complete 360 since my release. So many mistakes have been made that I can't believe I've been so stupid. So many bounds broken. So many people trusted that I never should have believed in nor allowed them to get so close to me.

I guess that's life for all of us. Maybe I expect too much from myself, but I don't think that is the case. I believe the problem is I just move too fast sometimes. Impetuousness!

So here I am starting over from ground zero in some aspects of my life. I have been there before though, so it won't be too hard I don't think.

U.C.A.P. will occupy most of my time because the brothers and sisters behind bars need us. However, I will never again be mislead by people who come to us with selfish agendas. My new approach is simple: I will have to do a lot of the work myself, but I am used to that because during ten years of prison I had to do everything for myself. I will need a little guidance with gathering information about resources available to prisoners outside the U.S. I hope some of my fellow advocates can point me in the right direction in this matter.

My personal life is good despite all. I love my girlfriend and our relationship has improved a lot now that I've taken the time to learn to understand her and her needs. There were problems before because, even though I knew better, I neglected her in that way. I won't let that happen ever again.

For future reference, this blog will return to the schedule used when it was first created. Humpday Entertainment on Wednesday's. Inmate voices on Thursdays. Since I have so many poetry fans I will feature Romantic Mondays. Fridays will be dedicated to my personal Philosophy's. Philosophy Friday sounds good to me.  Saturday is a good day for reflections since it is the end of the calender. I guess it will be my day to whine. Sundays and Tuesdays will be open to whatever subjects that may come up.

So here you have it. You all know what you can expect from Supaman from here on out. Your help, assistance, guidance is welcomed but not required. You are all welcomed to sit back and enjoy the ride. If you think this blog was awesome before, you haven't seen my best yet. 

Alway's real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, December 6, 2010

Progress Report

The Holiday Art and Author's Festival was a wonderful experience. I met many great people for the first time. Food sales weren't what I expected so I lost money on the investment in that, but that wasn't the worst part. My books didn't arrive from the printer.

I attended an author's fair w/o any books to sell. How weird is that?

I enjoyed myself though. Discourses varied from writing to sociology to religion. I never thought I could learn so much in one day.

It was quite humbling.

Now that that part of my journey is over with, I can get back to activism projects. Which reminds me of the shock I find at not having had significant sales of The Hard Journey Home. After all, almost all of my 400+ Facebook friends are in some form of relationship with someone in prison. One would think these people would jump on the chance to buy books that will help the prisoners in their lives better themselves. Plus, the proceeds from sales will benefit activist groups.

I guess this goes to show one can never count your chickens before they hatch.

Things like this can be disconcerting. I work hard at this and the progressess are very slow in coming. I'm a fighter though. I have to keep going. I was giving the gift of intellect and experience, so I must do the job I am suited to do. I don't think I could live with myself if I gave up. I have to admit I've come close though.

One thing at a time is about all I can do. I have a hard time understanding why attempts to create the resource list U.C.A.P. Support Group have received so little input. It's not like it's hard to add an address or two to a forum so that people would be able to find help easier in the future. I've had so many people make promises to do certain things, but very few of them have come through.

I understand better now why this fight has made so little progress. It breaks my heart. I'm resolved to do this though. Even if I have to do this by myself. 

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell