Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I Do it All

I'm sitting outside the library while I write this. Its a beatiful day. I'm thinking about how much you all (my readers) mean to me.
"With great power comes great responsibility."
I don't know who said it, but it means I have a responsibility to all of you. I don't know everything, but I know enough to share. So, I share information about how we can all better our lives and the lives of others.
If anyone wants to write me directly, here is my adress:

1099 F Beltline Rd
PMB 22
Collinsville, IL 62234

Don't be alarmed if I'm a little slow writing back. I'll try not to be, but I'm very busy these days.
Since some of my friends want to know more about my experiences in prison, and/or are activists for causes related to incarceration, I'm going to shed some light on my experience via song. Maybe I'll record it someday and figure out how to put it on a link so you all can here me perform it.
Well, here goes.

Perfectly Real by Supaman Tion Terrell

I'm doing all that I can to keep from looking inside.
The tears I cry Burn even after they dry.
on lock, watchig the clock, as the time flies by.
You never miss the water util the well runs dry.
Flashbacks won't let me laugh. I'm running from my past.
Drug habbits, and gun blasts. Now my baby-momma's mad.
I'm mad too. Can only be mad at me.
Its sad to see my life's been a tragedy.
Bad habits hold me back like gravity.
Still trying to grasp at what a man should be.
I looked up to the gangstas. It put me in the pen.
Preachers are pranksters. Pimping grown men.
My only comfort was a blunt and a bottle's foamin.
Thats all I ever wanted and the chic I was bonin.
I was zoned in. Loved when I heard her moanin.
I'm locked up.I hope it aint me that I'm cloanin.
A bastard in a cold world. Lost and alone.
A rolling stone. Give anything to find a home.
Life's fast ride. Blink your eyes and he's gone.
Walk the wild side. La vita loca, Homes.
I manifest the intellect trying to build an empire.
Entreprenuer Mic assassin for hire.
Right now, I know how Mike Jones felt.
'Cause "Back Then" I was dead broke myself.
Red Onion State Prison in 2009.
Feeling like the BeeGees, just trying to stay alive.
Masturbating while looking into a C/O's eyes.
Rushing to get it off while she's letting me ride.
Can't afford grease nor lotion. Lubricated with butter.
Its not funny. Thats a part of life in that gutter.
I've discovered life's raw like sex with no rubber.
Do you understand now why we must take care of one another?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Life is Good

Hey everybody! I'm feeling good right now. Its 5:57am. I have responsibilities, or obligations I should say, to those who play roles in my life. My readers are included. So, I'm writing this now to make sure it gets done.
I woke up early. I sat for a while, then grabbed my pen and pad, and barricaded myself in the bedroom. I like to think like this. I'm comfortable like this. After all, I spent the last three years of my life in a cell by myself. Sometimes I went outside for the allotted 1 hour a day, five days a week. You had to be carefull though. Excrement fights were a normal occurrence in the small cages we were held in for those recreation periods. I was taken from that life and thrown into free society with no preparation. Now I have to find a job in an economy which even the rich are wary about.
Imagine that.
All the people I meet have agendas. I have one too, of course. I've made mine public knowledge. Most people are not so open. Thats life. I love reaching out to help others, but doing so while broke has been a real challenge. I try not to take too much from people because I try to treat others better than they deserve to be treated. The more people do for me, the better I must treat them. Some people offer more than I can repay. I feel guilty when they do that.
But anyway, I've learned a way to earn money thats legal. A handy-man, grounds keeper, car washer etc. In fact, I'm certified in horticulture, and I even taught that vocation while I was in prison.
It's that serious!
I have a little network through church. Nice people who do a lot for the community. I like them a lot. Nobody pressures me about religion. The best part is volunteering for charity work; this gives me a chance to repay my debt to society and life.
I guess some of you want to know why I went prison in the first place. I go into details in the "Think outside the Cell Series" that is due to be released in July this year. I will say, however, I'm not a sex offender, nor murderer. My life story will be available later, but I have to do one thing at a time while I catch up on the ten years that passed me by.
But anyway, yesterday was beautiful. I ate in a Denny's for the first time in ten years. I loved it! I know a whole lot about restaurants--you probably wouldn't believe my resume. I enjoyed everything.
Lunch discussion led to finding work and the idea to launch my handy-man enterprise. Then I came home and found a way to enroll in college. Kaplan University offers accreditted on line courses that enable students to earn degrees without setting foot on campus. I had a very determined and helpful admissions advisor Ms Natalie Techeira. She was persistent until I was registered and all my financial aid matters were taken care of. She refused to allow me to mess up.
The best part is after grants and loans, I only have to pay $85 out of pocket now to obtain my associates degree. I'm taking up business of course.
I have those whom I hope will see me through all this if I need it. Times like these is when you get to learn who really cares about your well being. I'm not saying money is all important in my friendships or other relationships. What I mean is I have nothing in a society where everything costs. I'm fortunate the thrift store at First Presbyterian Church Collinsville has very nice clothes. I've gotten stuff from there with tags still on them. Why not pay 50 cents for brand new name brand jeans? Co-Manager Sarah Ross is a very nice woman who I've seen running things for the most part.
If you're wondering how I would've backed the bet made on my 3-23-blog, you can worry about something else. Its only a gamble when there is a chance I could lose. I couldn't lose. My poetry is just that damn good!
All around, the church is filled with good people. I feel like a human being there and not an ex-con who must prove I'm worthy to be treated decently. Of course there will be people with prejudices everywhere we go. I don't begrudge anyone that. I have some too I suppose.
Either way, there is a lot to be said for people who care enough about life to aide others without seeking anything in return other than the sense of pride that comes with being unselfish. It comes back around too. The way you live, if you are true to yourself, will always show in those who are attracted to you. I am what I say am to everyone. That way I can't be accused of hypocrisy. I give what I can whenever I can and I've found that its working out well. No con games, theft, nor illegal activities.
This is why I feel guilty if people do more for me than I feel I deserve from them. This is a strange problem to have for a man who doesn't own a computer and is enrolled in online college, manages three web accounts--including this blog, and is a writer working on a constant deadline dictated by poverty.
Hello library!
Hell, I feel guilty that I haven't learned how to share my new photos with all of you yet. I might get that together before I post this blog. We'll see. Mrs. Jerie Artz is the pastor's wife and the children's minister at the church. She took some pictures of me Sunday and she'll probably have to help me put them on Facebook. It's hard for me to find time to sit down and learn things. Plus, I have to find someone who'll teach me at the time when I do have time to focus on learning.
As some of you know, I'm very busy and short on money, equipment, and computer know how. Its hard to enjoy the simple pleasures I can afford when I have so many needs and obligations that I can not fulfill. I'll do my best to make this as pleasurable as possible for my readers. I'm trying to build a castle with only pebbles right now. I'll get it right eventually. Thanks for the tips people. I want to name one person in particular, but I must ask her permission before I write about her.
I'm about to learn how to build a page where we'll all be able to discuss thoughts about this blog. What you think, need and want to know is important. We all want to live better lives than we have now right? We may be able to help each other. I'll only discuss or write about something any of you may share with me if you give me permission to do so. I'm quite loyal. I have to be. My word is literally all I have. If I discredit myself, I'm nobody. Therefore I protect it just as fiercely as I protect those who are close to me.
I must leave you now. I need to shower and prepare for today's work. Love can mean a lot of things so I regret having to use the word, but it describes how I feel about my readers. I give everything I can--a piece of myself,so to speak-- when I write for you.
I'm a fighter though. Supaman! I said men have to be demonstrations of strength, amongst other things. I'm a man of my word. I'll be here for you tomorrow.
Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, March 29, 2010

The Things Men Do

Thank you for taking the time to grow with me. I hope you think enough of my writing to tell your friends about my blog. Shouldn't we share truth?
Also, I want my readers to share your thoughts. I publish comments if they aren't harmful. I am here for everyone-generally speaking. Personal relationships may develop with some,but that's life.
I must now address men as I addressed women yesterday. It takes two to make a relationship work. There are good men out there. Many who claim to want good men don't know what to do when you find one. I'm only speaking from personal observation. (If I don't know you, I can't be talking about you.)
What I have seen is women not treat the good men they had the way a good man wants to be treated. It probably wasn't intentional. We all are guilty of treating people we love the way we want to be treated, or the way we think they should be treated. Few ever think to find out how their lover feels they need to be treated. Then too, if you asked most people, they might not know how to express themselves in a way you'd understand.
With the above aside, a man completes his woman in the same way she completes him. In all the attributes women are stronger than men, men don't need to be as strong in as long as he is loyal, the primary provider, and a role model to his children of the way a man treats a woman. While the woman teaches your children verbally about honorable men, the father is the example.
Be mindful that boys grow up to be like their fathers in many ways. Equally dangerous is the likelihood that little girls grow up to date and maybe even marry those who are similar to their fathers. She will probably treat him the way her mother treated her husband. It happens because, men and women alike, stick to what they are comfortable with. I could elaborate but a proper explanation will fill a book.
In a solid relationship, where understanding and appreciation between man and woman are strong, there is a bond that exudes strength, contentment, and love.
The man's role in the family is just as critical as the woman's, but in a different way. He is strength, security,and stimulation. He insures the family's growth toward the goals set in the confidence of the woman.
This doesn't mean women can't work outside the home. Nor does it mean men don't have to do chores around the house.
This aint the Fifties.
My goal today is the same as it was yesterday. I felt the need to shed some light on what I see as the roots of the problems of our society. We've lost our way. When men and women embrace the best they find in each other and pass this practice on to children, our society will become a better place.
Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Sunday Bonus

There is a place I love and know.
A place where time moves slow.
Its a very special place to me.
You and I should go.

I'll blindfold you to surprise you.
Take your hand and guide you.
Uncover your eyes by riverside.
Then take my seat beside you.

I'll feed you treats while I sing.
Thank you for the joy you bring.
Your head will rest upon my chest.
We'll welcome the birth of Spring.

I'll run my fingers through your hair.
Lose myself in your eyes.
We'll talk about our love.
Feel your heart beat next to mine.

Birds will serenade us.
We'll nap in the shade of trees.
I'll wake you with a gentle kiss.
Then I'll listen for your needs.

Your wish shall be my command.
I brand myself your slave.
Ask with words, or with your body.
Just don't ask me to behave.

Know Your Place & Sunday Bonus

Two days ago, I wrote about the things I owe, and my duty to spread truth to my Flower. In my first blog I promised to pay my debts.
I'm a man of my word!
My goal in life is to change the conditions that breed crime. In order to do so I must make sure you all know that women lie at the heart of this revolution. Women have lost their way, and as a result our families have fallen apart. This applies to both the poor and wealthy communities.
Now, some of what needs to be said here will sound "old fashioned." That's not my fault. That blame must be placed on the chauvinists who turned woman's most honorable roles in the household to duties they owed to undeserving unappreciative men.
To illustrate this point, I'm going to bring up God. No, I'm not going to get religious! Consider all the attributes we praise God for the most: nurturing, merciful, forgiving, loving, and compassionate, etc. These are qualities we find in the woman's nature. The aggression, rebelliousness, and pride we find in the man's nature is attributed to that other guy. This is all being stated in a general sense. I'm not being sexist. Nor am I labeling anyone.
To proceed: we have women with their admirable natures. They are this way to meet needs that are pertinent to the survival of the human race. Children need nurturing, love, patience, and realistic educations if they are to grow up to be decent human beings. All of which is instinct for women. This proves she is perfect for the job.
Oppressive men made women resent the most precious relationships they could ever participate in. This reminds me of something I read once about breast cancer. It was proposed that women's decisions to not breast feed, to take birth control, and the taking of hormones to counteract natural lactating after giving birth contributed to widespread breast cancer. I haven't checked the author's sources, but it's still an interesting assertion.
What is known is that children who nurse are emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, and physically superior to those who don't.
Lets go further. Women have proven they can do everything a man can do, and some things that men cannot, when given the opportunity. Even immaculate conceptions have occurred in female animals. We can't deny, either, that all life begins in the womb. The planets and stars form in dark, seemingly empty, space. Plants grow from under the dark soil. Life in the animal kingdom, for the most part, begins in the female's womb.
So, why isn't the woman cherished as the miracle she is?
We forgot who she is. She forgot her purpose. A bunch of fools were too successful at degrading them. Now, most women don't value the the precious purposes for which they were given their great blessings. Most would rather compete with men, at lesser tasks, to prove their equality.
The woman shouldn't compete with the man. She should complete him. When the man goes out to earn his way in the world, he often gets overwhelmed, confused, frustrated, and intimidated. (We've already learned men aren't good at handling emotions.) His woman completes him by comforting him. Giving him tenderness to soothe him. Listen to him and help him sort out his thoughts. Use her intuition to guide him. Of course, the man must be mature enough to share,and wise enough to listen, and be guided.
Good luck with that!
Ladies, I apologize on behalf of all men for what you've suffered at the hands of idiots. I beg you help me make things right. You have to learn to see yourselves as a gift to man and your families. Take some time out to love yourselves for all the beauty within you. When you learn to love, respect, and appreciate and utilize your strengths, everything else will fall into place. You'll choose better partners and friends. You'll raise healthier children. Our communities will get better one household at a time.
Men aren't equipped to do this.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Special Sunday Bonus: The Place

There is a place I love and know.
A place where time moves slow.
Its a very special place to me.
You and I should go.

I'll blindfold you to surprise you.
Take your hand and guide you.
Uncover your eyes by riverside.
Then take my seat beside you.

I'll feed you treats while I sing.
Thank you for the joy you bring.
Your head will rest upon my chest.
We'll welcome the birth of Spring.

I'll run my fingers through your hair.
Lose myself in your eyes.
We'll talk about our love.
Feel your heart beat next to mine.

Birds will serenade us.
We'll nap in the shade of trees.
I'll wake you with a gentle kiss.
Then I'll listen for your needs.

Your wish shall be my command.
I brand myself your slave.
Ask with words, or with your body.
Just don't ask me too behave.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Make Men out of Them

The response and support I receive from my readers is wonderful. I appreciate and cherish all of you. So, in thanks, I'm going to answer an important question that lingers in your minds and that has yet to be asked.

Q: What makes me so different?

A: During 10 years of prison, I studied,amongst other things, many fields of psychology and psychiatry. Developmental and Relationship psychology included. I used myself and those I've known in life as case studies to test the data provided in my text books that ranged from bachelor to grad student level curriculum. Doing this enabled me to understand why most men are so bad at relationships, and in some cases, life in general. It also helped me realize the changes I needed to make in order to become a real man. Then I started making those changes.
This is why I'm now able to not only express love as I did in "There is Always More" post date 3/23. Its also why I can have real relationships with women, and respect, cherish and honor them even while in a struggling relationship at home. I'm not afraid to take chances even though I know attempting to be a sincere friend who will support and take care of another person, to the best of my ability, will burn me more times than not. I know Love is an activity and not just a feeling. The latter is only significant if it is expressed in a way that is desired, appreciated and reciprocated by the object of my affections.
Now, lets address one of the problems most men encounter. In our society little boys grow up learning to portray a macho image. They are encouraged to show anger and aggression. Crying is forbidden. Sometimes young boys are forced to ignore physical pain, and feelings of fear, sadness, etc.
The childhood of a typical male forces him to shut out some of, if not most of, his emotions. Thus, he is stripped of part of his humanity. One who isn't free to experience his emotions and grow because of the experiences is doomed to have bad relationships. He must approach them in a bewildered, childish state of mind.
A man who doesn't grow up learning to feel, embrace, explore, nor grow with love, will still be able to feel it however. Yet, he won't be able to understand what he feels.
How then is he supposed to express this love in word or in deed?
Many a man who has neglected, mistreated, or even abused his woman was truly and madly in love with her. Now of course this doesn't excuse any of it. My point is these men are in pain. It hurts them to love, and to be confused and afraid of what they feel. Add to this the frustration that is a consequence of feeling lost and alone in this tragic dilemma. They can't express themselves because they don't know how to. They believe they must bottle these feelings up.
Later, the inevitable emotional explosion is targeted at the woman he loves,yet perceives-in his baffled mind-is at the root of all his problems.
Plus, a being with two hard heads is going to be confused anyway. Smile!
Relationships are hard for everyone. For some less hard than others. Women give so much of themselves; their suffering after being betrayed by the man/men they loved may scar them for life.
I've hurt for each and every one of you since I learned this.
It's sad, but most of you can't move on to the next relationship(s) and forget the pain you've endured. This leaves you with understandable insecurities that you may not be aware of. These cause problems in your future relationships because your antennas are always up searching for a sign that this new man might hurt you. You'll find what you're looking for because no man is perfect.
If you bring these things up to the already confused and frustrated man you love, you probably won't ever get the responses you seek. This will validate your insecurities, whether they are rational or not.
The relationship goes downhill from there although the man and woman may truly love one another.
Please ladies be careful when you are seeking the one who will meet all your needs. Make sure you know what you want as well as what type of man will provide it.
Even if you have found, or do find, Mr. Right, you must still be patient with him. He needs taking care of too.
Even more important, you must raise your boys to be real wholesome human beings with real feelings they understand. The women in their future will love him for it. What greater gift can you give?

Friday, March 26, 2010

Three Stages of Life

The Flower

I know a flower when I see one.
With you, its obvious God has blessed the world.

I wonder if you know your worth.
I wish I could give you all that you deserve.

Its my duty to give you truth.
My poverty may leave me unheard.

So delicate so precious.
A reminder of the purpose I serve.

So now I thank you for glimpses of beauty.
I water my flower with words.
. . .

Second Encounter

The heart is now the flower in bloom.
Soft petals unfolding to kiss the sun.
Elegance never before witnessed.
I cannot water my flower as I'd wish.
I pray for rain.
Chance loving words to show I care.
If there was a pedestal worthy, I'd place this flower there.
The world must partake of its beauty.
Exquisite existence.
I marvel at its effect.
So much potential.
Invigorating sail on wings of power.
Love and admiration are inevitable.
Life becomes more beautiful still.
. . .

I Can Now Keep Fighting

I look to the past to learn from mistakes.
In the present, I study, I learn, I write.
In the future I dream and am happy.
Bask in the view, begetting delight.
My heart knows peace when I hold my pen.
My mind explores my wrongs, and rights.
The soul yearns the continence of a friend.
Adoring a flower that evades my sight.
Potential untapped has no meaning.
For who needs shade when there is no light.
Life may be cruel, harsh, and demeaning.
A glance at a flower makes everything right.
. . .

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Facts of Institutionalization

Americans recognize that most prisoners become institutionalized by their experiences while incarcerated. However it must be understood that most criminals were institutionalized as free citizens.
My dictionary defines institution: "an established practice, law, or custom." As such, an institutionalized person is one who has adopted a particular practice, law, or custom.
Let us go further. The dictionary defines psychopath: "a mentally ill or unstable person; especially: a person who engages in antisocial behavior and exhibits a pervasive disregard for the rights, feelings, and safety of others."
Is it not now vividly clear that criminal delinquency is in itself a psychopathic institution?
Miscreants despise criminal justice system personnel. Many criminals believe its their right to victimize and exploit others. Lets not forget to include those who pretend to fight crime while manipulating the public. The criminal justice system's primary objective is to deprive criminals of that self-granted right. Well, at least the criminals they are instructed to pursue. Thus, to the common criminal, the law makers and enforcers are the evil doers. Likewise, any who agrees with, supports, or simply relies on representatives of the law for basic protection of their rights is detestable. For the common criminal, personal violent retaliation is most appropriate whenever they perceive they were wronged-regardless of the potential consequences.
The law generally protects the public. The criminal justice system-though not at all perfect, and is definitely exploitative-is in place, partly, to remove criminals from society as a deterrent. It would only be sensible for a person who hates the system and its personnel to avoid its entrapment by not breaking the law, but most institutions are not rational.
Due to the unfortunate systematic immiseration and psychological alienation of those statistically most likely to serve time in prison, (predominately African-American males,) most of them are incapable of rehabilitation as it is idealized by the naive. Rehabilitation is restoration to a healthy state. We are discussing persons who weren't morally, emotionally, or mentally healthy in the first place.
The bigger crime is then committed when these people are subjected to an environment where activities such assaults, compulsive gambling, racketeering, extortion, theft, robbery, exploitation, drug addiction (illegal, and prescribed psychotropic medicines,) alcoholism, indecent exposure, rape, and even murders are the social norm. The prisoner who likely began life socioeconomically dehumanized is further institutionalized with a more atrociously psychopathic morality. They become learned and automatic behaviors that a frightening majority of prisoners take with them to society after they are released.
Even those who do not assimilate are psychologically damaged via mere exposure.
Meanwhile, many prisoners distribute a great deal of news pertaining to ill-treatment at the hands of prison staff and administrators while doing little or nothing to discourage the abominable acts perpetrated amongst themselves. This is not to say they shouldn't fight for what few rights they are entitled to when the tyrannical and abusive prison personnel violate them. However, it is pointless for anyone to revel in the pointing out of various causes of conditions they dislike if they will not take the time to objectively evaluate and correct the personal ideologies that contributed to their landing in the disliked circumstance(s).
This goes for everyone, including this writer.
The fight against crime must begin with education. (Academic and social.) Correcting the criminal mind set of prisoners requires intensive emotive/psychotherapy, in a stable healthy environment. Of course; love, support, and encouragement from family and friends would contribute to progress as well.
Unfortunately, the prison system is not designed to facilitate any of the above. Prisoners must achieve moral, emotional, and psychological readjustment by themselves in the absence of adequate guidance and resources. Most of them are thereby doomed to recidivism because they lack the intellectual capacity and/or the rational perspective requisite to even comprehend the task and their need to accomplish it.
It is then the responsibility of the public to see to it that our elected officials move to address the social diseases that breed criminals, and the needs of prisoners before they are released into society to victimize again.
That next victim could be yourself.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Since I've been out of prison, I've been like a teething child looking at others eat steak. When I went in, text messaging wasn't even popular. It may not have been out yet. Yet, in order to get ready for my book releases, I'm using every tool available to me to promote me and my work.
People give me advice, but they don't really understand how much I really don't know.
This is the paradox.
I was a restaurant exec. before prison. I worked my way up from washing dishes, and I didn't even have any formal education. Then I sat in prison for ten years reading all the textbooks that college students study to get degrees in business, marketing, psychology, and theology.
So, I come home with a book due out within a few months, and I need to promote it. However, I'm broke. No one will give me a job. I put together the sites that I have by myself and I'm still learning to use them. Meanwhile I'm talking big things about what I can do for others, especially our youth.
I can't blame others for not taking me seriously. I laugh at it really. I'll be on top of the game soon. I refuse to settle for anything less. I started a career in writing while incarcerated and I spent a lot of time preparing to excel in the profession. The disbelievers can laugh now, but I'll laugh last. I extend invitations for others to get on board so we can network to all our benefit, but they believe I'm unworthy. The price will go up after I'm a household name.
I communicate personally with officials from the Mayor up to the Senate. The anthology with my work in it is being promoted by the Ford Foundation. I have a detailed marketing plan that should lead to my becoming a millionaire in three years. As I accumulate this wealth I'll be doing everything in my power to change the conditions that are getting worse for our youth , because Americans are naive enough to trust politicians and the media.
My posts up to this point have been demonstrations of my ability to express myself. Now, I'm ready to get down to the Nitty-Gritty. The caveat I extended to the fake activists out there is about to unfold.
If you haven't taken me seriously up until now, you will after tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

There is Always More

These words are more than a message to a love. They are more than a means to communicate my appreciation for the unique love we share.

No dictionary has ever defined such a love. Therefore it would prove futile if I attempted to convey its density in any form of writing. Neither poem, song, nor any other art form could adequately capture the essence of the rapture that has imprisoned me.

This is more than a declaration of love. It is more a promise to love you forever. However, I can not promise my love will go unchanged. By the time you are done reading, my love will have grown deeper, but only because I wouldn't have it any other way.

This is more than a way to turn my heart inside out and reveal its content to my best friend. Its more than an outcry by which I iterate my vow to henceforth be loyal and true.

I could claim this is my way of expressing, to a love I cherish deeply, how much you mean to me. That, however, would not be honest. For, this passage is much more than that.

I must add, every moment that we are not together I'm wishing we were. But still there is more.

This confession mustn't be construed as a mere plea for much longed for physical intimacy. My thirst for your affection lies deeper than lust.

It could be said that I'm clearing my head. Airing my thoughts. Releasing pent up emotions that boil through my veins when I think of you. But, somehow, it is still more than that.

This outpouring of my soul provides an excuse to dwell in the warmth that consumes me whenever I reminisce about the joy you brought into my life. While doing so I'm reminded how worthy you are of all the love I have to give. And, it is more than this too.

Here, I swear to be an asset to the rest of your life. I shall be your friend, confidant, and loving companion for the rest of both our days.

You see Love, no matter how much my love inspires me to do for you, I will always be willing to do more.

And; if there is ever a question as to who adores you most, no matter who the competition is, the answer will always be me.

Despite all I've written, I can not say my point has been made. But, as you read, you should be reminded of at least a portion of the unfathomable depths of love I feel for you.

More importantly, when it comes to the love I will die giving you, you can be assured there will always be much, much, more!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

ABeautiful Sunday

Pay close attention so I can sell you my life.
I'll circumnavigate, but this was my day.
"Yes Ma'am, Debbie. I'll see you Sunday."
Then only, learn the bus won't run.
Five mile hike, leave real early.
I'm the neon sign in the dark desert horizon.
I know Christians don't judge.
Am I sure I heard them watching?
Perhaps all ex-cons do suffer post-traumatic stress.
I can't afford an evaluation.
Exit to inclemency.
Why beg for pity when God gave me health.
I grab a chicken now my hand is exposed.
Spray embraces then dances with me to the music of wind and tire friction.
Head bowed so won't see how others look.
My feet are swimming, but there are only three miles to go.
I sigh, ignore my aches, and revel in hope.
Maybe in a month I'll earn an advance.
Not even beggars have job security.
Now, I'm smiling with gratitude for willpower.
And, thanks for your patronage.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Hello World

Okay world. Supaman's here. I've lived a life that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and now that the bullshit is over it's time that I take the stage and share all the lessons I've hard learned. So what there's a whole lot of dirt in my past! The autobiography will be out in a year so everybody will know all my dirty little secrets anyway.
Yeah, I've done almost ten years in prison. Yeah, I was a drug addict. Yeah, I got into a hell of a lot of trouble in prison. Yeah, I'm unemployed. No, I don't own anything more than my broke black backside.
I won't make excuses. I won't point the finger of blame either. I won't even include a "but."
That's simply not how I operate. I studied enough while I sat in prison to have earned numerous degrees. Everything I learned I learned in order to understand who I am, why I did/do the things I did/do, and how I can change those things about my person that put me in prison in the first place.
I did this because three different women were pregnant with babies that I thought were mine at the time of my arrest. Because I didn't hear anything from any of these women while I was incarcerated. This showed me I had to learn to be a real man and make something of myself so that my children could someday be proud of me. I've been out a month and I still don't know if those children are mine, nor where they live.
That doesn't matter right now though.
What matters is that you all know that I know I owe society for all the evils I committed and that I'm going to pay that debt. I'm going to pay it by pissing some people off with the truth-maybe you. I really don't care though. I'm a man of my word and my debts will be paid.
If you doubt me, all you have to do is pay attention; my writings will be published as well as my poetry. Its about time a black man stepped to the plate and did something for the misguided young Americans of all races. Something more than talk a good talk and build a charity that buys him all the toys he wants (women included.)
I'll be back later. I'm not exactly computer savvy and I'm stumbling through this. I'll leave you with this:
I couldn't give a damn less if you can't put any faith in me now. I don't even want you to. Just watch me. You all will get what I owe you.