Friday, September 24, 2010

Challenges

I don't know who said it but there is a quote lingering in our society that goes something like "Every challenge we face is an opportunity for growth."

I know what that means. Even if I don't know how it goes.

Saturday I was in a car accident. I was run off the road by a drunk driver.I hit a pole and the airbag burnt me pretty good. The car isn't hurt too bad, but repairing the airbags will cost more than the car is worth. Needless to say I wasn't in the best financial situation to begin with.

It seems each time I get my head above water something crazy, unexpected and disastrous happens. But, I will keep moving forward because I refuse to do anything other than that.

Now, I'm on the market for a new car. The good thing is that Domino's Pizza is behind me and my main contract customer are hear for me. I also have some special friends who stand by me and pick me up when I fall.

There are several developments in progress that will hopefully provide some relief, but I won't go into details. I state this only to show that I'm not crying poor me.

My head is still high and I'm still moving forward with the confidence that life has prepared  me for he tasks that lay before me.

Always real,

Supaman Tion Terrell 

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Back to Work

I was a feature poet at the St. Louis Poetry Slam last night as a result of winning the competition last month. I was humbled greatly by the poets who were there. There eloquence and deliveries showed me how much I had to learn. As I write this, the video footage is being uploaded to my harddrive so I can put more YouTube footage together. I'll post a link here when it is ready.

I've been working at Domino's for more than a week now. It's the type of work I'm used to, but the menu has expanded greatly. I eat too much now as a result. The pizzas are actually good now. My favorite is the Barbeque Chicken Pizza. It's amazing.

I'm being trained  for management and I will be doing a lot of maintenance  too. This on top of working as Property Manager for Ken Quinlan Properties. Also I broker home and auto insurance.

 If you want cheeper rates call me. (618) 741-7510.

Oh, and I help my friends at Johnny's Sidebar by doing some PR stuff for them when I can. And, lets not forget the community events I organize and promote.

A friend Joanne Rinaldo who is in the Jaycees asked if I was taking on too much. I told her that if I endured ten years of prison I can sacrifice a year or two to do some hard work to put my life back together. And, speaking of friends's concerns, someone asked me last night if I was a drama magnet. I thought that was funny. I've had my share of situations. That's for sure. most of them I created.

However, I handle my problems!  One way or another I find a way to get though the bull. God gave me too much intellect to do anything other than eliminate problems. No matter how it must be done!

I feel good about my life now. I will continue to strive towards my goals. I want a good life for myself and those who share it with me. I want to be an example of what a man who has seen troubles like mine can be. I know I will be a success because I have been one thus far despite all.

My next big step is the start up of the United Coalition of Advocates for Prisoners. It should be up and running by the first of the year 2011.  I have a pretty good idea of which actist groups I will support around the world and how the organization will do it's part to slow the growth of the criminal institution here in America.

With that said, I can close. I thank my friends for their continued love and support. I thank my enemies for sharpening my skills and reminding that I must always be at my best.

Alway's real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Return

I've been quite busy with three jobs and personal problems, but I'm not writing this post to whine about that. I'm sure none of you want to hear that.

The interesting thing is, as time passes, I understand a little more now why people who get out of prison return to lives of crime. Recently, I have had to deal with a person's vendetta against me. It has almost pushed me back into the criminal mindset because this fool actually believes they can get away with slandering my name and reputation and get away with it.

And, people call me arrogant.

Those close to me are aware of how capable I am of dealing with problems no matter what form they present themselves in. I'm not the vengeful person I used to be. In fact, I've tolerated things that a year ago would've brought immediate consequences to those who offended me. As a result, one particular person feels comfortable being a two-faced coward and campaigning against me with lies and rumors.

I wonder why people can be so stupid as to make enemies they can't  afford to have. This is the worst form of arrogance. There are many ways to destroy a person  and there are some people out there who are intelligent enough to use any and all of them quite successfully.

I'm one of them.

Now, I believe in the Golden Rule. I treat others well. I try to give before I take. I try to only take less than what I feel I've earned.  I believe in forgiveness too. I understand that we all are prone to make mistakes and that we should have the opportunity to live down our mistakes as we grow because of them.

However their are some people in this world who are so arrogant they won't learn until consequences force them to reconsider their course(s) of action. It's sad but true. I was this way. It took going to prison to make me want to change. Now, I'm forced to ponder what it will take to make the worst of my enemies realize what they have gotten themselves into, because I can't set back and watch while they try to destroy everything I've worked for.  

My own arrogance created the problem, but that doesn't mean I have to let myself be railroaded. This is not about revenge. It's about proactive problem solving.

I titled this post the return because for a while I was thinking like the vengeful criminal I once was. I'm not thinking along those lines now. It scared me once I realized where my thoughts were heading. I'm human after all and the life I used to lead called for immediate retaliation once I was offended.

That's what confuses about the so-called civilized society. People disrespect and run all over each other because often the offenders' position of authority allow them to do so without having to fear consequences. I don't know how to accept this. I suffered abuse most of my life. It turned me into an animal in many ways. Now, I'm trying to reform that animal, but it's damn hard when I find myself with my back to the wall and being ran over by vindictive cowards.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

My Biggest Day Yet

The flier to the right was finally forwarded to Domino's Pizza for printing and distribution throughout Collinsville. The event will consist of three scheduled musical guests and the youth who wish to display their talents. Some of them will be chosen by judges from First United Presbyterian Church to perform in the First Annual Uptown Talent Show. Other Fliers will be distributed throughout Collinsville schools and business locations around town.

I also attended a meeting with the Pastors of churches that support CAMA yesterday. I informed them all about the events that are being organized to benefit the charity.  They are definitely worthy. They give out tens of thousands of dollars in food and emergency financial relief each month to needy people in Collinsville. Right now they are struggling to raise money to relocate to a facility that will enable them to better serve Collinsville's needy persons. Learn more about CAMA @ http://www.facebook.com/pages/manage/#!/pages/Collinsville-Area-Ministerial-Association-CAMA-Helping-Hands-Ministry/115882391790691

I enjoy working to improve the community. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment  for one thing. Also, doing this gives me the opportunity to show the world I'm a changed man. I can't help feeling like I have something to prove in this regard. Most people would say this isn't necessary; but, the truth is, my past will effect the way others will perceive/judge me for the rest of my life.

I use the negativity as motivation.

I thank my sponsors for assisting me in the events I organize, and the friends who help me see my faults and force me to grow out of them.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Changes in Plans

I learned during my orientation at Domino's Pizza that I was brought to be trained for a Manager position after all. At first, I believed I was being hired as a regular employee who would do special marketing work. That was really good news. Who would expect such just six months after serving a 10 year prison sentence.

I came home after the Thursday's meeting which followed the regular orientation with my head in the clouds. I celebrated with some strong drinks amidst my few friends and several text messages. The next day was spent wrapping up the set up of the Concert/Teen Open Mic Night at the Collinsville Memorial Library. Previously, the events were scheduled for the 1st four Fridays of October, but then the Adult Services Coordinator brought it to my and the Library director's attention that we'd be competing with Collinsville High School Football games on three of those nights. Therefore we are having one huge night with three musical performances in addition to the open mic competitors.

I also learned at this time that I will have to cancel or postpone the Author's Fair that was scheduled for the 17th and 18th of  September. I volunteered to recruit writers for the event. I learned yesterday that no focus was placed on promoting the event. This means we would gather all the authors together, but no one would actually know the fair was taking place. It would probably waste the author's time as a result. I suggested that we postpone the fair to mid December. This will give us more time to arrange  a worthy promotional campaign. I now await the Library Director's approval.

Then I suffered another disappointment. I made a  mistake in accounting that will preclude my appearance at the Jaycees event where I was supposed to compete in both speech and writing competitions. I was a little angry at first, but I'm fine now. After stopping to think about it, I realized I can't be upset because I've accomplished so much in such a short period of time.

Organizing events is not a simple task and I'm thankful for Domino's Pizza, the Collinsville Memorial Library Center, First United Presbyterian Church, Collinsville Jaycees, the Collinsville Connection, and Primerica for all their support and guidance. I'm honored to be amongst such great organizations in efforts to make Collinsville, IL. a better and more exciting place.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Man in the Mirror

It's been a little under six months since I created this blog. Followers since that time might have noticed a lack of profundity in my posts over the last few months.

I've noticed it too. The realization forced me to take a good hard look at myself. I see now that prison has made me a bad person in as many ways  as it has made me better. While in prison, and shortly after my release, I was a very deep and careful thinker. Of course, that's easy when you have no responsibilities, nor many dealings with the public.

All that changed when I asserted myself on First United Presbyterian Church. Shortly thereafter I started working. Then I began to spread my wings in various ways. It was at this time that I began to lose myself. I was too busy to do the deep thinking that earned me the name Supaman in the first place.

I see now that I became the same man that I was before I went to prison. I was acting impulsively once again. The very thing that led to my self-destruction so many times before.

I'm on the brink of throwing everything I've worked so hard to build away. It scares the hell out of me too.

I used to believe I made great changes in character, but the truth is I'd only made temporary changes in my thinking. The new principles I'd discovered via contemplation still have yet to be applied in my daily life. I guess this makes me a hypocrite. That's a hard thing to admit.

I know I've written similar words to these before. I write them now as a form of therapy. Introspection helps me grow. My impulsive behavior is like an addiction. I can't change overnight. I have to constantly remind myself that I can be my own worst enemy. If I allow myself to forget this harsh truth, I will not make it very far in this world.

Just about everyone who ever trusted me has been betrayed in some fashion. All because I allowed myself to forget I'm trying to lead life in a world that is totally foreign to me. I never was a part of mainstream society for such a consistent period of time. I can only live a lie for so long. I know deep down I'm a good person. I sincerely want to make our world a better place. My impulsive behavior has shown otherwise however.

If anyone took the time to consider what my life has been like, and how foreign the functional world is to me, they would understand my dilemma.

But, who has time to do that? Even less actually care to do it. Especially after I shown the worst of my colors.

I feel pretty bad about my situation despite all the things that are going well. I know I have a lot of growing to do if I'm to be a real asset to anyone--which happens to be my primary goal in life.

I now understand why history's great thinkers spent so much time in seclusion. The more we deal with others, the more diverse, compassionate, and intuitive we have to be. This isn't easy for me after surviving a life of hell for 33 years. Especially when I'm pulled this way and that by other peoples' expectations and while I'm confused by so many lusts.

I'm struggling to find a balance now. One that meets my needs as well as those of others without abusing nor exploiting others.

I just thank God for the few friends I have who are caring and patient enough to stick by me now that they've seen me at my worst.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell