Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Supaman Says is Moving

Yeah the title is right. My blog is moving to http://www.supamanscribes.com/supaman-says.php

Obviously you can still read the archive here. If you want to learn how I've grown and adjusted to society, or haven't, you may want to browse these archives. I don't think I will ever best the poetry and essays written here.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Romantic Monday: The Things You Do

I know not where I should begin.
For from the beginning your love has been given abundantly without end.

Your smile stole my heart, understanding and respect lured me in.
After our first hug I new we'd never be the same again.

I looked into your soul and saw a neglected needy spirit.
When I told you that, you didn't want to here it.

Unknowingly I bared my soul before you against my will.
You embraced it, cherished it, and you continue to do so still.

Remember how nervous you were before our first kiss in the tool shed?
As old as we are, we were so afraid we both almost fled.

And then we took a trip on the Train.
I knew them we would never be the same.

We consumated our love in haste.  Christening a special place.
I will never forget the joy I found when we were done and I saw the contented smile on your face.

Since then lover you have blown me away over and over to my surprise.
I've found as much pleasure in your mouth as I do between your thighs.

Never have I needed you and you not done your best to be there for me.
Despite my foolishness and ignorance you still show that you adore me.

Yes Lover, all I need in this life is you.
I will do all I can to be everything you need too.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Weekend Reflections: Keeping on Moving

I'm in a new house. I outgrew the old condo. Besides, a black ex-con wasn't exactly welcomed in that neighborhood.

I have a bigger home office now. I like the neighborhood better so far. I have a new lead on a job. The best part is I found a missing manuscript. I thought I would have to write my autobiography again from memory using the outline as a guide. That is a big weight off my shoulders.

I have several big projects in the works. A new series of Ebooks is in the works that includes self help and a how to series that will aid parents in detering their children from crime. Also I have been working on the DC Sniper's manuscript. It is a biography with poetry and art work. I knew Lee Malvo in prison. He was no more than a lost kid who fell under the influence of a madman. It could happen to anyone.

I start a new marketing project today. I will be appearing at The Cuttin Edge barber shop on Main St in Downtown Collinsville to perform poetry for the customers there. Exclusive material that I have't performed anywhere else!

Tomorrow I will be at Holy Cross Lutheran church to participate in prayer walk. I will be shedding some light on the needs of prisoners before Pastor Ed Engelbrecht leads the church members in prayer.

Then there is a meeting with Zulu Saint Louis next Saturday. A new chapter of the famous organization that is so active in so many ways throughout New Orleans is coming to Saint Louis. This is an interesting first and I'm honored to be a part of it. There has never been an expansion chapter of Zulu!

In all, I must say life is looking great from where I sit. I want better and I want more, but I can't complain. I have everything I need to get the rest of what I need as I continue to work on improving myself and changing a social system that creates it's own diseases like poverty that breeds crime.

Lastly, I have to give kudos to the woman that stole my heart. I have been looking around a long time and now I'm sure I found the one I want. I just have to figure out how to make her mine forever. This video is for her.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Friday, April 1, 2011

Philosophy Friday: The Sweetest Love

"Every day is Christmas and every night New Years Eve!"
--Sade

It's funny how love is often found in the bedroom even when it does not exist elsewhere in a relationship. I dare venture to say we have all been there at some time or another.  Though few of us recognize when this is happening to us.

So what is love really? Physiologically, it is a chemical reaction in the brain that can be duplicated by certain drugs. None of us really care about that aspect of though do we?

When most of us think of love we think about that powerful emotion that makes us make sacrifices for others' safety, pleasure, happiness, and/or joy.

I get that kind of love and I try to give as much of it as I receive. I usually fall short. Then there are those times when I am scared out of my mind by the way I get attached to others because it is very hard for me to trust people. After all, I have been abused, neglected, mislead and abandoned by all the people in my past. Hell, trying to make friends has led to all kinds of claims and accusations against me since I've been home.

I have long known the first prerequisite of truly satisfying love is the love of one's self. If a person can't get that right they will never be able to express love to another effectively. Not unless their lover has very low expectations. This does happen a lot so some people have little to worry about I guess.

I love myself to the point that some believe I'm arrogant. I really couldn't care less.

Get it?

It isn't easy to love another human being the way they desire to be loved unless that person knows themselves well enough to be able to communicate what their needs and desires are.

Ladies, I know most of you can't wait to find a man who can do that. It's not the man's fault though. More than likely he grow up thinking he shouldn't feel certain emotions. That made him suppress a lot of the emotions that you want/need him to show you. He can't explain what he doesn't understand.

Now there is the part where we all have to be accepting of differences in other. However, that does not mean we have to put up with being miserable in order to be true to the people we love. That is the opposite of loving ourselves.

The most important factor of a healthy joyful relationship is choosing the right person to emotionally invest ourselves in. Unfortunately too many people choose the wrong person to love from the beginning. We stay with them for various reasons. Usually some form of dependency.

Most of us have been there too. In fact, some of us choose our mates as a result of neediness in the first place. We are dependent from the very start.

Are you relationships sweet, sincere, reciprocal and fulfilling?

If it isn't perhaps this should be discussed with those you love. If this can't be discussed with them, then there is probably a problem there that will never be fixed.

If this is so, I'm sorry. I pray that you will find persons to love who fulfill you in every way.

Always real:
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Humpday Entertainment: The Comeback

I bet ya'll thought this no good ex-con nigger had to stay on his back didn't you.
You wanna believe I have no right to hold my head up.
Look at me and grind your teeth to the gums. Bite your nails to the cuticles. Stomp your feet.
Continue to pray that I will have a humbling experience that will teech me to stay in my place.

I welcome it.

Since I got out of prison nothing has been easy, but I haven't fallen yet.
I grow more angry and more bitter everyday.
What little seeming victories your pathetic plots amass only work out to my best interest.
Call it luck. Call it unfair, but still you can't change it.

I will not lose.

No matter what you cowards do I will not stop until my point is proven.
This ex-con will pave the way for so many after me to recognize and capitolize on our potential.
Don't call me a revolutionary.
A revolutionary is the last thing I want.

The revolution scares me!

Oppressed people will only stay down so long.
Every great society has fallen. Primarily because it became great though the oppression of it's citizens.
The oppressed classes always wake up and want there freedom.
Thus, the nation looses it's foundation.

America will be no different.

You racist ignorant bastards need not fear the excon who strives to make a way for himself by establishing myself amongst you.
You must fear the angry persons who don't have the business backround that I have.
Who haven't studied as well as I have to make themselves better after society turned them into angry, cold, heartless, criminals.

They are getting angrier.

They aren't in prison. They have guns and nothing to live for.
They feel little more than hatred and they have noone to take it out on.
You did well to turn us against each other, but you did too well.
You locked too many of us up and made most of us worse.

You will pay for this eventually.

They won't do drive by shootings on each other once they are all to poor to have anything to fight for.
Minimum wage jobs aren't enough to sustain drug addictions in poor communities.
You are cutting back on welfare too remember?
Drugs for sex won't cut it.

They will have to start robbing you opressive cretons soon.

Yeah this may give you an excuse to kill us all off via the genicidal institution you call the criminal justice system.
Who will you focus on then when you need someone to hate and blame your problems on?
Who will you look down on when everyone you look up too is openly lucking down on you as they have been in secret for so long?
Who will you hide behind when it is everyone for themselves and you get thrown to the angry vengeful wolves you have mistreated like you have treated me?

I too await my time!

Who will the government have to give simple minded taxpayers as an excuse for exploiting them?
What religion will they force on you to get you continue to allow them to lie to you?
You can't run to the police for protection when they have orders to contain you and control you along with all those you like to fancy yourself as better than.
The only thing you old fashioned bigots have in your favor is old age.

You might die before all hell breaks loose and you will be forced to see the truth.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Inmates Voices: An Inmate Can Fight Back

Below you will find an actual legal action filed by Derwin Osbourne, an inmate at Red Onion State prison. I served 3 years at the facility and I can tell you that it was the worst 3 years of my life.

Derwin fights hard to combat the injustices at ROSP in every way he can. All inmates can do the same if they educated themselves about the law. Derwin doesn't fight alone. There are several others who use the law to fight for thier rights at ROSP. You will here from them often in this blog.

I beg all my readers to encourage the inmates they know to fight the injustices they experience in any productive way they can.



Monday, March 21, 2011

Romantic Monday

I am amazed that after all we've been through we are still going strong.

Another thing that puzzles me is how I always want time alone to study, write and catch up on my work. Yet, when I do find myself with time to relax, all I want to do is be with you.

I think of you before I sleep. I dream of you while I sleep. I wake up longing for a glimpse of your face, the taste of your lips, and the pleasure of your touch.

Click the button. She can express my feelings better than I could ever write.

Always your love;

Tion

Friday, March 18, 2011

Being Needed

It is way to easy to be selfish. Even when it is the last thing we want to do.

I was in tears a few minutes ago when I realized I have been selfish. I have 4 people in my life that I know I can count on to go through hell soaked in gasoline if I asked them to. I also have to count my regular readers who support me. Yet, I just realized that I have begun to take them all for granted because I have been so focused on my problems and my needs.

There is a fine line between between a friend and a taker. A friend is always willing to give unselfishly. A taker takes and does not hold what others may need in high priority. I have been taking from my friend without even realizing what I have been doing.

I feel guilty, and angry because I can't believe I have been so stupid.

Depending upon the perspective from which one looks, my life can be seen as great or shit. I have a lot of great things developing. I also lack resources to capitalize on all the opportunities that have presented themselves. My preoccupation with my struggle to put my life back together has caused me to neglect the needs of my friends.

I don't know how to make this up to them, but I am going to try as hard as I possibly can.

I beg all my readers to be careful of your friends' needs. You never want to feel the way I felt this morning. You may also want to be careful of what you allow others to expect from you. That is very important too. Of course, if you allow others to expect more from you than you intend to really give you are a real asshole.

Always real;
Tion

Monday, March 14, 2011

Romantic Monday: Maturity

I remember what it was like in the beginning. My feelings haven't changed. I hunger for the sight of you. The sound of your voice sets me on fire. The mere thought of you forces me to smile. I live every moment of each day hoping and wishing that I will spend the rest of my life with you.

We've had many ups and downs since we fell in love. We've learned about many differences between us. Major differences that would have come between us had it not been for the depths of love that keep us going.

So many times we go into relationships thinking about happily ever after. It almost never happens. We see things in others that we don't like, but we ignore them for the most part while hoping the other person will change more to our liking. Those changes hardly ever occur.

We must understand that we each have a right to be the person we are comfortable with as individuals. No one should be expected to live there lives for someone else, even if they love that someone else.

Yet, it is necessary to compromise. Love is not selfish. One has to expect that different experiences in life will result in certain fundamental differences in values.  No one has the right to ask another to change their fundamental beliefs. However, the possibility exists that both parties may have irrational beliefs to start with.

I guess this is why the mythical soul mate exists for some people. I never believed in that.

All I can really be sure of is my love for you. I used to believe in fairy tails. Then I stopped. Then you made me a believer once again. Now, I don't know what to believe.

Forever seems like such a long way away now. I wonder if we can survive the unknown storms that will come if we can hardly handle the challenges that we expected to encounter.  It is easy to believe that everything will be better in the future, but belief in something doesn't make it true. Reality is an entirely different matter.

I want to be everything you need. I always have wanted that. I have tried to be that. It has become apparent that I am more capable of sacrifice and change than you because I have been nothing other than a chameleon all my life. You, on the other hand, have been spoiled by those closest to you because you are so good at being likable.

Obviously, I'm expected to fall into line with everyone else. I don't know if this is fair expectation. I have a world of struggle before me if I am to ever become someone I can be happy with. I can never be happy with you unless I accomplish this.

I don't know if I can fall in line even though I would love to. I want nothing more than to love you until I stop breathing. No matter how hard it my seem right now I will continue to try.

In the mean time I suppose we both have some maturing to do.

I love you.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Weekly Reflection: Pay Off at Last (Big Radio Interview Monday)

When I first came home from prison I didn't know how to text message. I did know that I wanted a lot out of life and that I wanted to make a difference. As many of you know I began with this blog and a Facebook profile.

Not a whole year has passed since I created these web outlets and I have built a website for myself and sites for several other businesses are now in the works. My latest is: http://www.legacybooksandcafe.net/ though it is not quite complete.

I have been offered a job that I'm very happy about. Facilitating a class on entrepreneurship for ex-cons. I have also been asked to sit on the board of directors for a non profit corporation that works with ex-cons reentering society.

There is also a radio interview scheduled for Monday at 4:30 Central Time, 5:30 Eastern. The beautiful Butterfly Show. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/beautiful-butterfly/2011/03/14/special-guest-tion-terrell-united-coalition-of-advocates-for-prisoners

The Host says: "TUNE IN FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH TION TERRELL..ON MONDAY MARCH 14TH @ 5:30PM EST...CALL IN # TO COMMENT OR ASK QUESTIONS IS 347.884.8527..ON THE DAY OF THE SHOW YOU MAY CLICK ON THE LINK IN BLUE ABOVE TO LISTEN TO THE SHOW LIVE AS WELL!!!"

This isn't all though. I'm moving into a house in a few weeks. I have outgrown this one bedroom apartment. Last but not least I'm buying a new car next week.

It's been a tough year, but I'm climbing out of the rut. That has been the objective of course. I'm just an ex-con like all the rest. If I can show others in situations like mine that success is attainable, I have done my job.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Inmate Voices: North Carolina Juvenile Institution

"But this prison is a youth institution and every inmate here closed suctody or medium custody. The age group is from 13 to 21. This is the only prison without air conditioning. It is very hot here in the Summer time. Every inmate have his own room. The rooms don't have sink or toilet. You have to put your towel under the door to use the restroom. The prison is a highrise, it's 16 stories high. The 14 and 16 floor is segregation. 16 floor is where they house the I-Con, H-Con and M-Con inmates. They get fed less than everybody else. They only come out their cell for one hour each day."

These words are typed directly from a letter I recieved from a young man incarcerated in NC. I have also been informed that the inmates in this institution must pay to participate in school.

I share this with my readers to show how sad the situation is. Juveniles are tried as adults in NC, regardless of the offense, at age 16. Jail time must be served at the institution described above until release or transfer to an adult prison.

NC's answer to the problem is breaking laws and denying civil rights, in penal institutions, to individuals who are at the prime age when they can be rehabilitated.

Yet it is the criminals we are taught to blame for their inability to be changed by sojourns in prisons. U.C.A.P http://www.facebook.com/pages/United-Coalition-of-Advocates-for-Prisoners/136371343051538 is preparing to address this atrocity! You can register to join our support group @  http://www.supamanscribes.com/prisoner-and-family-support-group.php

Always real:

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Humpday Entertainment: Life is a Battle

Life is a battle. We all fight it to the best of our abilities as much as we are capable of.
So many of us are lost in a warzone of powerful people who want more power.
Some of us merely survive, while others prosper. Some get so overwhelmed they just give up.
All that needs to be said is that we all have to seek out what is right and true and live by it.
We all have troubles in the journey of life though no couples troubles are exactly the same.
All people really need is understanding amongst one another.
How impossible this is when people don't know themselves.

The hardest thing for most to overcome is the grief of loss.
There is no magic pill.
Love and fear are the most powerful emotions we know.
Love can be devestating when we have to let go.
We look for reasons to blame ourselves.
The pain of loss is so great we'd rather cover it with guilt.
We can't give in to that nor other temptations to wallow in pain.

We still have those who need us and need to feel needed and loved by us.
We have to strive to live for those who remain with us and for ourselves.

When the pain is great, remember the love that was shared and the joys you've lived because of it.
Life has a cycle over which we have very little control.

What we can control is how we choose to learn and grow from what life forces us to endure.
Each of us owes it to ourselves and to those we have lost to make the most of those opportunities.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, March 7, 2011

Romantic Monday

I wonder you know what I mean when I say I love you like I love myself.

I mean that everything I want for myself I also want for you:

A long life of love. A life filled with joys so great they make the worst of your memories insignificant. I want you to always love with intensity and with the expectation that your devotion will be repaid with the same enthusiasm.

I want you to wake up each day in the arms of someone who adores you and who showed you how much with passion and vigor the night before.

I want you to share laughter over private jokes you share with someone who knows you and accepts you for exactly who you are. Who understands you and connects with you. Who knows what you are thinking with only a glance at your involuntary facial muscle actions.

I want you to live each day confident that you are loved and cherished, and that you will be supported when you are not able to handle life's injustices on you own. I want you lie down each night knowing that your heart belongs to someone who would sacrifice life and limb for the honor of fighting your life's battles at your side.

I want you to never wonder if you are loved. I want you to never doubt the person you give your heart to because you trust them.

I want you to share the living of your every dream with the person you love. I want you to know the kind of love that makes you smile each time you think of your lover or even hear their name.

I want you to have the kind of sex that blows you away every time you need it. The kind of sex that always gets better as you learn new things about your body and your lovers.

I want you to always have reasons to laugh. I want you to be light hearted most of the time because even when times are bad you know the love you share will survive any trial, then you and your lover will soon be smiling together when madness ends.

I want you know the kind of love that makes you feel as though you are walking on rose petals each time you give thought to the fulfillment you find in your lover.

I want you to have a lover who spoils you and knows how to talk with you. Who will talk with you just because you feel like talking. Who is interested in your every thought just because it is yours.


I am only beginning, but I believe you get the picture.

I want you to have every gift that comes with love, from love. And, since I know how it feels to need the things I want you to have, I will always do my best to give them to you.

I love you.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Romantic Monday: Hunger

How I long to make love to thee, my sweet lover. Never a moment passes that I do not feel a stirring in my loins due to lustful thoughts of you. Perhaps I am little more than a man possessed by your sensuous expertise.

There are such joys to be endured at the mercy of thine sweet mouth. Words spew forth from elegant lips, across an aggressive tongue, to expand my heart's capacity for love and admiration toward you. The blood flow increases with each accelerated beat causing swelling in my most sensitive extremity.

I must touch you, caress you, hold you. My lips must know the pleasures of your kisses.

Our contact causes you to breathe heavily. The rising of your chest beckons me. I lower my full lips to ravish them. Sucking, nibbling, gnawing ever so gently.

The smell and feel of your sweet breath invigorates me. My hands explore your soft flesh until one of them locates the moist crevice between your luscious thighs. Then it tickles, fondles, strokes, delves and delights.

Now jealous, my mouth makes a path down your body leaving behind a trail of soft bites and nibbles until it is greeted with the nectar produced by the labor of my wriggling fingers. Ardently my mouth ravages until it has had its fill of juices.

Then my mouth follows it's trail back to your waiting lips. My enlarged anatomy  seeks out the soft, wet warm, canal of Ecstasy that awaits it. The first pierce is shallow. Each following insertion is slightly deeper than the last as I bathe in the exotic sensations of moisture and enveloping heat.

I have no clue as to why I can focus on little else once thoughts of your appeal cross my mind. I care not that I am plagued by such visions. All I know is that I crave you and no other. For, no one has ever pleasured me as you have on many occasions.  

Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Weekly Reflections

It's been a busy week for me. I am working on a major marketing endeavor right now as well as trying to get books into prisons that can help inmates improve themselves.

I'm not complaining! At least I have work.

I work a lot with Legacy Books and Cafe now. In fact, I had a big slice of humble pie there last night. I was up against poets that blew me away. I was disappointed with the defeat, but it was an opportunity to learn how I can be a better poet.

There is a YouTube video of some of the performances. Mine isn't worthy of inclusion here. To see it click this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVO9YrXu8iw

I have events to plan including 2 tours. I'm excited about that. The thing I'm most excited about though is a future with my love. A future when I can provide for her as I feel a man should. When bills will not be a worry.  When she can spend much time in leisure as I lay the world at her feet.

This goal is what keeps me going when I have failures. When I'm reminded that there are people in this world who enjoy antagonizing me just because. I'm still amazed by the stupidity of some people. I wonder how long they believe I will tolerate it? It's kind of funny actually. I get disrespected while my offenders hide behind the law. Or they think they can. It's as if they believe I'm not capable of exacting retribution or something. I'm the bad guy, but I get attacked and slandered by so-called good people because I address truths they wish they could ignore.

We had a saying in the rural area I grew up in; "There is more than one way to skin a cat."

People often worn me about saying such things because they can be interpreted as threats. They are right, but I don't make threats. I know me. I know what I'm capable of, but it seems the haters don't. I'm just making people aware that everyone is subject to consequences for their actions.

If I resorted to my old ways I could be subjected to the law right? The same applies to those who hide behind their friends, status, and reputations. They are not exempt from kharma, the law, nor my wrath.

So no, I'm not threatening anyone. I'm simply accepting the war that was brought to me instead of taking the high road which leaves subject to getting kicked around by cowards. The thing they don't understand is I have great prowess at various tactics. Tactics I know they aren't prepared to deal with.

But enough of that. The highlight of my week was a night of shooting pool with beautiful company. I wonder if any of you have ever been on a date with someone that was so beautiful to you that you felt proud just to be seen with them. Holding hands is just as good as sex. The lightest kiss is an orgasm all in itself. I have times like these.

DAMN I'M LUCKY!!!!

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Friday, February 25, 2011

Philosophy Friday: I'm still Black

I don't address the issue of race much, because I fear I will be labled as a racist. Anyone who knows me knows all my adopted family is white and most of my friends are too. This isn't by choice totally. There aren't many blacks in Collinsville that I know of. I can't say I care to be very close to the ones I do know because most of them are a lot like the person I was before I went to prison.

I guess I'm writing this to explore what it feels like to be a black ex-con in a place where blacks aren't expected to be as good as others. I hadn't given any of this much thought except when it has applied to my personal endeavors. Lately, I've been spending a lot of time in St. Louis. For the first time since my release, I've encountered black business people. It is also the first time I've encountered so many attractive productive and confident black women.

It's a shame I can get culture shock amongst my own people!

I'm proud to be black, but I'm not proud of the conditions my people are subjected to. A lot must change if we are to learn to better ourselves. We must change the trends that lead to black men making up 38% of Americas prison population while blacks are only 12% of the nation's populace. In fact, a decade ago we made up more than 15% of the population. Our numbers will continue to decline as long as all our men are going to prison for extremely long sentences (proportionately longer than those given to other races), and killing each other over petty diferrences ingrained in us by propoganda that gets shoved down our thoats through the media and entertainment industries. Who will father the children? 

I'm just pissed because we give them the right to continue to call us niggers!

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Legacy Books and Cafe



I first visited Legacy Books and Cafe to conduct a marketing meeting with Kevin McCameron, Slam Master of the St Louis Poetry Slam, and a couple of associate was surprised to learn an Open Mic Night would soon be underway. I decided to perform since I was there.

After the meeting ended, I met the owner of the Legacy.  J. Nicks is a well mannered man remeniscent of the gentle elders from my childhood in the south. I also met MK Stallings who organizes the open Mic Nights and Slam Poetry competition (all on Fridays.)

The caliber of talent I experienced was phenominal. I often asked myself, "How many of these performers will be stars if they get the right management?"

The most impressive thing about the night was that the event, like each Friday night at the Legacy, was a fundraiser for Urban Artist Alliance for Child Development, Inc. (UAACD). UAACD is incorporated in the state of Missouri, is a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit corporation formed for the purpose of enhancing the social and cultural well-being of young people through arts and education.

I'm honored to be amongst those who do such great work. I expect to learn a great deal from the performers and activists involved with Legacy. I will return often to enjoy the classy atmosphere and the outrageously comical MC Louis Confliction. There is even a full service bar and a cafe with quick tasty made to order dishes.

Of Course, I intend to put quite a few additional Slam Poetry victories under my belt as well.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, February 14, 2011

Romantic Monday Art. 9: An Offer

The best of my days are always those whereupon I awake with sweet thoughts of you plaguing my consciousness. I have never really paid attention before, but this morning I learned that it is true.

When we have problems my world doesn't rotate on it's axis quite the same. The sun never shines as bright. Not even the air I breath tastes the same.

I know it can't be easy loving a man who is constantly fighting an uphill battle. I am also aware that only love can keep you by my side though all this.

What I can't figure out is why you love me the way you do. You have explained to me that I understand you in a way that no other man ever has. I get that. However, I can't imagine why another man who has had the opportunity to love you and be loved by you would neglect the slightest of your needs.

There is nothing I love more than making you smile. No. That is a lie. I definitely like making you scream a whole lot more. I like talking about nothing just because it is on your mind. I like hearing you sing along with the artist on the radio. I even like it when you tease me for not knowing the words.

The way you love me often makes me feel awkward. I sometimes feel unworthy. I sometimes wish I were a better man for you. I can't accept man made religion, but I know there must be a God because you are my personal gift from powers beyond my comprehension.

The things you do to me show me that heaven is real. I find evidence of if when you grasp my hand. When your lips pleasure me in so many ways. Then too, there is the warm, moist, soft, place of ecstasy between your sexy thighs!

Damn! I'm a very fortunate man!

I have trouble figuring out what to do with myself when I think of you. You are truly the only thing that matters to me. I am an ambitious man, but I would give up all my dreams if I were able to better provide for you as things now stand.

Since this isn't so, I will work hard to improve my stature. I will work myself to the grave in order to share the finer things in life with you.

Through this missive I propose marriage and joy ever after.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Evaluation of My First Year in Society

I"m now honoring the anniversary of my first year home from prison. I must look at the past year objectively to learn from my mistakes and improve upon my progresses. I am doing this for my own growth, and to hopefully make the lives of other convicts better when they are released from prison.

I was released to a poor household. My family was angry at me for coming to Illinois when I got released. I still don't understand that because with the exception of my cousin Regina they left me in prison to rot without writing to me, accepting my phone calls, nor visiting.

My support unit immediately after release consisted of First United Presbyterian Church and my girlfriend.  Regina did send me a box of clothes. My wardrobe came from the church's thrift shop. I'm still looking good though. I ate from a food pantry hosted by Collinsville Area Ministerial Association (C.A.M.A.) in the church basement and with Link (food stamps.)

I started earning money first as a handyman then I entered a contract with a property owner that stipulated I was the repairman for the property. Meanwhile I was working on various projects.
1. I created a blog in hopes of reaching others to share some views that could make our society a better one.
2. A talent show to create publicity for the church and to raise money for C.A.M.A.
3. An Open Mic Night Event to recruit talent from.
4. Promoting the "Think Outside the Cell Series" in which I earned my place in by winning a writing contest while in prison.
5. I created the United Coalition of Advocates for Prisoners Facebook page to enable prison activist groups to come together to work out a strategy that will create the changes we all pursue and to raise money to support the groups through the sales of books and ebooks.

I made a lot of mistakes while working on these things. The biggest one was not realizing that women in society are not like the female officers who work in prison. In prison, if you wanted women to like you, you compliment them profusely. When you do that in society women react to such treatment very differently. I also forgot the fact that I survived in prison by acting like a maniac. I was feared by most inmates and guards. The women who accepted my advances and watched me relieve myself were probably just relieved that I wasn't trying to kill them.

The worst of this after my release was the way women treated me once they realized I was an ex-con. Before knowing this they were very receptive and even initiated communications. And let's not forget I've dealt with more racism here in Collinsville than I ever did in Virginia. Mind you, they were still having Klan meetings there when I left free society in the year 2000. People have thrown accusations around and were believed just because I'm a black ex-con. Since this is a small town, once a few people form bad opinions of  me, I'm pretty much blackballed in many circles.

I joined the Collinsville Jaycees not long after my release. I ruined my standings with them due to sheer ignorance. Living my life has made me a very hard person. I can say anything and handle anything. I guess I expected the same from others. That was expecting too much. Many people found me offensive. Miscommunicating didn't help matters any. I soon learned that discussing matters as a member of the Jaycees was usually interpreted as officially volunteering the organization in some form or another. The Organization didn't like that very much. After a while, I just got tired of making an ass out of myself and I stopped attending the meetings.

My next set of big problems began at church when I was told I couldn't be in the presence of the church youth. I couldn't handle that. I felt that I was being accused of being a potential child molester. It took every ounce of strength I had to not brutally attack someone. I tried and tried to resolve this matter with the top church authorities to no avail. The very people whom I considered friends had these fears too. I was also accused of stealing money that disappeared from church even though I hadn't been near the area of the church where the money was stolen from in over a month. After my last futile attempt to work this out, I lashed out. I made it clear that I had no need to do anything inappropriate with a young girl in the church because I could have a half dozen adult women in the church if I wanted them.

Of course that was the wrong thing to say. An investigation started. All the women who had been so eager to flirt with me claimed that I made unwanted advances toward them. It all got worse from there. The fundraiser talent show I'd worked so hard on was sabotaged by the distribution of false information to church elders and rumors were spread about me to which I was never given the opportunity to confront my accusers nor defend myself.

Right after all this occurred I took a job at Domino's Pizza. That lasted less than 3 weeks. The first problem was that I had a GM who insisted on asserting her authority even when it wasn't needed. Next, after people learned about my past everything I said or did was taken out of context. The straw that broke the camel's back was a complaint from a customer who started flirting with me while ordering a pizza. After she learned I was an ex-con through a second discourse, she freaked out. She called the store, the cops, and the main office. The responding officer didn't even write a report (or so he told me). He said the woman was a little off. I was suspended. I resolved to quit before Dominos' investigation ended.

Since I'd broken my wrist in June and had no health insurance (I still don't.) I was in major debt by this point. I had no way to fix that so I payed installments that I could afford. Not to mention the debts I'd made by borrowing money from friends.

I still worked as contractor, but a good portion of my pay was withheld because I borrowed from the property owner. The funny thing about all this is that I broke my wrist on his property. I was not working at the time though. Everyone I knew wanted me to sue him, but I wouldn't. I'm just not the type of person who can be disloyal unless I'm betrayed first.

From here things went rapidly downhill. I only managed to stay afloat all this time through the help of friends. My market agendas were  progressing fairly well, but I was steadily falling deeper into personal debt. That was a pain.

There have been some good times too. I won the Saint Louis Poetry Slam Competition in September. Not long after that I did a Radio Show with Kevin Womble.

I expected my big break to come when I began planning the Holiday Art and Author Festival with the Collinsville Library. I invested a lot of my own money in the event. Most of it was borrowed. However, I learned at the last minute that I would not be allowed to promote myself  alongside the event. This is bad because I attempted to work all this out when the venture was first put on the table, but the attempt was ignored. The fliers Domino's Pizza agreed to distribute weren't produced until the day before the event. To make matters worse, the books didn't get to me in time to sell them at the fair.

I came away from that even deeper in debt. The world feels different now that I'm finally climbing out of it.

It's been roughly two months since the festival. Since that time I have had no luck with finding a job locally. I have entered a contract with Resilience Multimedia as a  National Sales Representative. I am thankful for that.The work is new to me, but I have gotten  the attention of several government officials and state administrative officers. With them, I'm exploring avenues through which we can get our books into prisons. The Think Outside the Cell  projects have produced books that will enable and encourage inmates to improve upon themselves and to be more productive after reentering society.

My prisoner advocacy efforts consists of this primarily. My efforts on the web have taught me many lessons about taking people at face value.

I'm scheduled to appear at a symposium in New York at the internationally recognized Riverside Church. I'm really excited about the chance to stand in the footprints of  Dr. Martin Luther King. A professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice is making arrangements for me to give a lecture and have a book signing at her school while I'm on this trip.

None of this makes things better at home though. The relationship with the woman I came home to has been on and off a lot for various reasons. We still love each other, but it its time to admit that we have very little in common, and that I have needs that she isn't capable of meeting.

Which reminds me, my blogs on Romantic Monday are just as much fantasy as they are true. My readers expect great romantic so I give it to them on Monday above all else.

So here is the life of an ex-con a year out of prison. I've done a lot, but I can't say that I'm happy about where I am right now. In so many ways I'm still in prison. I'm just climbing out of debt. I'm behind schedule on the goals I set for myself. I'm still working on things that could have been accomplished last year--had other people held up to their end of deals that were made.

There is a bright side however. I am wiser. I'm just as determined as I have always been. I refuse to give up. I have to be an example of what an ex-con can be if they put their minds to it. Someone has to do it. This is why I am so open. If you don't know the whole story, you can't appreciate the struggle.

Things will be a whole lot better very soon. I'm so full of joy I've even been calling people I haven't talked to in months (the ones I still like anyway) to thank them for their support that helped me along the way. I want my oh so not clever adversaries to know that a few battles is not the whole war.

So this has been my first year home from prison. I could have made it better, but I didn't. I will do much better this year though. 

Friday, February 11, 2011

Philosophy Friday: Internet Activism

I just had a painful and difficult exchange with a person respect and admire about my frustrations with internet activism. I have been assuming for too long that people who extended help to me were on the same page as myself. That has proven false.

I have been trying to figure out a way to achieve success for all of us who strive to fight for prisoners's rights and death penalty abolition. It hasn't gotten me little other than headaches and requests for money. Today, I was forced to take a hard look at the problem.

It is appears to me that the real problem is that many people would seriously like to contribute, but they don't know how they can really be effective. There are also those who believe that since we are all volunteers then we are not obligated to any particular course of action. Also there are those of us who are consumed in our own efforts and agendas. Then there are those who don't want to do anything more than pass the time by talking.

The sad truth is, the people who created the corrupt system are equally committed to keeping it in place. It is their bread and butter. As long as we approach the struggle to improve the criminal justice system in a lackadaisical manner, it will continue to get worse--as it is designed to do.

There are great leaders all around us. Most of us are heading in different directions in an attempt to generally accomplish the same thing. This has to be changed. U.C.A.P. was formed to enable the leaders of causes and groups to come together and work out a comprehensive set of goals that will accomplish the goals of eradicating the death penalty and improve prison conditions as a whole so that it will aid inmates in reforming into productive citizens.

It can be done. However those of us involved have to be able respect and honor a general code of expectations that will push us toward successes in this horrendous struggle. We should select a leadership committee with clearly defined authorities and expectations. Everyone, even volunteers must be dependable when they commit to a course of action.

We all have to be like ants performing jobs with dedication and diligence. The enemy here is a system that has the upper hand. Half hearted efforts to change this system will accomplish nothing. We have to find common ground to work toward overall success with unity.

I welcome any and all opinions or rebuttals.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Addressing the Prison Education Crisis

It's been hard to establish this organization as one that strategically approaches any particular agenda, despite the self ascribed dedication of our fellow Internet/Facebook activists, because when projects have been put on the table there is little to no participation.

Our goals are simple. We don't need to concern ouselves with financing our activities because my relationship with Resilience Multimedia and my writing does that. The problem we have is establishing a plan of action in the first place.

The majority of the participation I get for this organization is requests for money. No real explanation of what the money will do once we give grants has ever been submitted.

We will be hosting a group chat session at the end of this month to discuss an approach to seeking improvements to the prison education system. We want prisoners to have oppurtunities to prepare for better lives than the ones they lived before their incarceration. This will be a slow and demanding task. Our efforts may not always earn us the desired results, but we must make it possible for misguided and miseducated inmates learn something more than more antisocial behavior and more devious criminal activity from their peers.

We must change all the detrimental facets of the criminal justice system if we are to reduce crime and recidivism. As it now stands, the criminal justice system is bleeding our society's already struggling economy. What kind of future is there for a society that spends more money on incarcerating it's citizens than it does educating it's youth?

At this time all we ask is that anyone who is interested in sharing ideas about this stuggle give us a time that would be most ideal for you to share your ideas via group chat.
List the time periods you prefer in your comment on this post, or wherever you will find this invitation. Only submit one list of preferred time periods please.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Humpday Entertainment

Have you experienced a storm in life?
You have right?
My life has been quite a storm lately.
But then a strong wind came and blew the storm away.
I know a storm will visit again soon, but I am too joyful to even care.
I'm smiling, laughing, and crying because I feel so good.
It is great to overcome obstacles.
Especially since I was an architect in most of their creation.
I am so thankful for this breeze that I don't know who to thank.
My joy is so enormous that I find it hard to believe it even exists.
Hard work pays off!
Plus my life is full of love.
My family and friends are beautiful.
I can't ask for more.
What little I do still have to acquire I must make it happen.
Life has been too good to me already.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Romantic Monday Art. 8: On Behalf of Incarcerated Fathers

My Lover how are you? I need to address my confinement.
The Judge gave me a lot of time on consignment.
I know it's hard for you. You're all alone while I'm locked up.
I wish I'd thought about this while I tried to sew the block up.
Well all the fun and games have come to an end.
I had a good run, but now I rot in the pen.
If I could do it all again, I'd be still free.
I'd work, have dinner, make love then go to sleep.
When I did have freedom I couldn't see so clearly.
I was greedy. I've sacrificed everything dear to me.
My peers in here share the same regrets.
Though must of them pretend there is no heart in their chests.
I know it's hard out there, but it hard in here too.
I'm in a cage like an animal with my mind on you.
Worried that my kids are calling someone else Dad.
Knowing another man is getting the loving I had.
I'm going mad. I'm thinking about the things we had.
Wishing I choose a better path but that's all in the past.
Presently, a pen pal is all that I can be.
I'm too far away for a visit. I feel like mail the way they ship me.
Feeling guilty. It's like I'm less than a man.
My family needs me, but I'm not there to lend a hand.
What's worse is that I need you more than you need my.
Without loving family we lose our sanity.
None of us have friends in here.
We're dying on the inside and forced to hide our tears.
It's each of us against the rest in a hell with cells.
A whole lot of angry man with horror stories to tell.
Some believe we have it made with three hots and a cot.
For some it might be true but for most it's not.
I know it breaks my heart to be stuck in this spot.
I know you all are living life while I can't play a part.
And the world is expecting me to be a deadbeat.
Roam the streets, pocket pharmacy, until I'm back in the penitentiary.
I sit here like, Damn! Y'all don't understand.
This is bad enough to make me wanna be better man.
I've made me over, come up with a better plan.
It ain't over, I hope to catch a better hand.
I've fallen behind, now I have to have to do some catching up.
When I'm down, I need someone to help me up.
Accept a call. Write me to say, "What's up?"
After all you did promise to stay in touch.
I need to hear my kids say, "Daddy, I love you."
For you to read them my letters so they'll know I'm thinking of them.
I have to ask. My kids need to know I'm their dad.
I'm stuck with a pen and a pad to express the love I have.
If your boyfriend can't accept it, that's just too bad.
Make sure he knows what his place is before we cross paths.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell
 

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Prisoners's Voices: A Plea for Help

I have been contacting governors and prison administrators for over a month in attempts to get the "Think Outside the Cell" books into prison libraries so that they can enable and encourage prisoners to better themselves and prepare for success once they are released.

I now beg you all to aid me in this campaign. Please call, write or email the governor of your states and the prison administrators and express your desires to have Resilience Multimedia  books placed in prison libraries.

Perhaps we  can make progress by contacting President Obama.

This is not sales propaganda! A portion of the profits earned from this campaign will benefit prisoner advocacy charity organizations.

We can make it easier for prisoners to understand that criminal activity is not their only option to earn money. They will learn from others who have lived the same lifestyles as themselves and were able to turn their lives around.

The cover above is one book from a set of four. It is summarized below. To learn more about the series and ordering information, click on this link:
http://www.supamanscribes.com/books--ebooks.php

Summary

"Think Outside the Cell: An Entrepreneurs Guide for the Incarcerated and Formerly Incarcerated"

"Think Outside the Cell" is a step-by-step self-help guide that uses entrepreneurship and financial literacy to offer a realistic second chance to the incarcerated and formerly incarcerated. It was written to help people build successful lives and break the cycle of recidivism. And even for readers who don’t become entrepreneurs, "Think Outside the Cell" makes them financially literate so that they can make smart choices.


The book takes a holistic approach. Before dealing with business and finance, it calls on the incarcerated and formerly incarcerated to take a hard look at their values and belief systems. It challenges them to change their minds in order to change their lives. It appeals to the layman and lays the foundation to personal and financial independence and successful reentry. It offers easy-to-read instructions on how to get ahead and stay ahead.

It combines all the qualities of a self-help manual and a college business text.
.  .  .  .  .  .  .

Thank you for your time and efforts to make the prison system a better one that will help the misguided to better themselves.

Always real,

Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, January 31, 2011

Romantic Monday Article 7: The Hard Times

No one with a sound mind would doubt my love for you.

I feel things for you that I have never felt about another human being, not even my mother. I love you to the point that it has become painful. It hurts when one of us misunderstands the other.

I'm so confused most of the time. I don't know how to go about my personal life anymore. All I really want is you. The only way I want to spend  my free time is with you. In your arms, seeing your smille. Or making love and listening to the music your voice makes when I do the things you enjoy.

It's too bad life can't be the way we want it right? Instead, I must endure times without you. Times when I don't know what to do with myself because I can't get to you. I want to talk with you constantly. No that isn't true. I want to spend every moment with my lips touching yours. Our tongues dancing and caressing one another.

I'm jealous of every other living thing that gets to be near you, see you smile, or even hear your voice.

I want to possess you. I want to crawl inside your skin and live there. Which reminds me of our arguments over whether or not I need to let go when we make love. I could care less if I never have a finale. I just want to stay inside you forever and give you every pleasure a man can give a woman.

Each of your climaxes is one of my most proud achievements.

I only want one thing more than I want you.

I want to know how to love you better.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Romantic Monday Article 6

I can't keep the tears from falling. I can't stop wondering whats wrong with me. It is almost as though the moments we are not together are like years.

I don't understand how my heart can be so wrapped up in you. I'm not complaining, then again, maybe I am. I want to know why I have times when I'm left feeling like missing you will kill me. I want to know why the sound of your voice (real or imagined) makes me shudder.

Sometimes I wonder if this is love, or if its worship. Maybe it is just insanity.All I know is that when I need you at times when you aren't there I wanna die. Living just hurts too much.

Sometimes I tell myself that I should be happy. Not every man in the world can say he has won the heart of the woman of his dreams like I have. It never works though. When I'm not near you there is not enough air to breathe. There is never enough heat to keep me warm. I can not be satisfied.

I never intended to love you like this. I don't even know what you have done to possess me so. I don't even know if I like it. I love loving you, but it gets hard feeling like I'm only half alive when I have to be away from you.

I don't even know how I can go on composing this article. I usually pour my heart into these passages, but today my heart is not with me. It is in your hands. If i dig deep, all I find is the emptiness that lies where my heart used to be.

Take care of it for me. You can keep as long as you desire. I won't need it.

All I need is you.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Humpday Entertainment presents: A Reality

A Reality
By
Tion Terrell

A Reality
I wonder If you like your world.


I don't like the world very much, but mine isn't the same as yours is it.

Isn't it amazing that we can all create our own realities and still not like them?

Give it some thought.

We can all choose to be whoever, or whatever, we choose, but most of us still aren't happy.

And why do so many of us believe, I'm okay, but you are not?

You never will be until you are what I think you should be.

I have prejudices but you have no right to judge me.

Go ahead admit it.

Many think I can't be a good person because I went to prison for doing the things I learned to do while growing up in a household with alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers and whoremongers.

I guess its MY fault that I was abused neglected and molested.

But, I'm not whining.

Truth is, I like the way I turned out.

Well...almost.

I have a good job....but I can't quit smoking.

I think I'm handsome....But I do have a potbelly.

I've accomplished alot in the year I've been out of prison. I'm a changed man. But I'm not rich yet.

And how come nobody understands me but poets and shrinks.

I feel like an alien.

No... Thats not right.

My life is like "Planet of the Apes."

I went to prison and came back to see that I missed out on evolution.

The self-righteous mindless puppets have multiplied.

Most of the blacks seem to be content living like a subspecies.

People treat pets better than relatives.

The clear thinkers are the people we call crazy.

Oh...but wait a minute. Isn't your world like that too?...Isn't it?

Do you like it more or less after seeing it through my eyes.

So what are you going to do about it?

Monday, January 17, 2011

Romantic Monday Art. 5



Yes lover, things like this run through my mind when I set across the room from you during those quite times while you watch TV.

Then there are the times when I run my fingers through your thick brown hair. You lay on my chest at and I listen to you breathe. It's best when you are trying to catch your breath while you wait for your body to stop trembling.

But, it doesn't stop there. I write about you all the time. I might as well include the latest.

Perplexed

How can the memories we make continue to get better?
Each day I learn to love you in new ways and to greater depths.
Never have I found such joy in another human being.
Have you noticed the way others look at us?
They stare.
Some in envy.
Some in utter confusion.
I can hear their minds working.
"How can such an odd couple be so happy?"
But, we are not odd.
We're just two people who waited way too long to find one another.
But, that isn't a proper summary.
We found each other at the perfect time.
When our needs could not have been greater.
Timing just as perfect as you, My Love.
I couldn't even sleep last night.
The memories of our joys forced me to stay awake and relive them.
I never want to sleep again!

I love you,
Supaman

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Resilience Multimedia wants to serve Formerly Incarcerated People

Below is a sample of a survey I'm posting on behalf of Resilience Multimedia:


The Think Outside the Cell Foundation and its Resilience Multimedia publishing program want to get to know you better, so that we can serve you better. To that end, we’ve come up with a few questions that we hope you will take a few minutes to answer. Many thanks!


1. If you are formerly incarcerated, what would help to make your reentry and reintegration into society easier? Please be as specific as possible.



2. Do you blog? Tweet? If so, about what topics mostly?



3. What, if any, blogs do you read? List a few.



4. List your five favorite web sites that you visit regularly. What do you like about each of these web sites?



5. Do you read e-books? If so, what was the last e-book that you read?



6. What newspapers and/or magazines do you read regularly?



7. How do you define success?



8. What brand of cell phone do you own/use?



9. What other mobile devices do you own/use?

....................................................................................................................................................................
 
This survey is available for submition online @ http://www.supamanscribes.com/former-prisoner-survey.php

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Weekly Reflections: Dear Foe

Your last comment goes to show how stupid you really are. I wonder if you realize that it can be traced. You can not hide behind the web. In fact, your not even stepping up and claiming your childish comments shows a lot about your character. I won't even bother with revenge right now because I get such satisfaction out of you expressing your hatred in such a childish way.

If I were you, I'd hate me too. I throw reality into your face when you have been content so long with the crap you've been spoon fed by other fools. You say I have no education, try me. Prove something that I've written wrong. Prove something that I've said wrong.

You attack me because you spend your life wishing you could be something you are not. Trying your best to fit in amongst people you feel are your betters. Then I come along, a black ex-con with the audacity to stand up to those betters whose buttocks you've been kissing and show them they are a bunch of fools and hypocrites.

I'm smarter than you, and have a better job than you. Soon I will be more wealthy than you. I've had successes that make you sick to your stomach and I haven't been out of prison a whole year yet.

It's a sad world when a man must compromise certain morals just to make a way in this world. If I spoke the whole truth all the time everyone would hate me just as much as you. Just like yourself, the majority of people are content with their false realities and they hate anyone who can challenge them. But, sadly for you, your hatred runs deeper, because you tried to debate with me and lost. You couldn't even control your emotions. You never can. You are weak, ignorant and childish.

You aren't even a challenge to me because you debate facts with emotions. Grow up a little. Become someone that you like. Stay in your place and leave the intellectual banter to those who are intelligent enough and mature enough to handle it.  

Your Nemesis

I guess you need a dictionary for that word right? Have fun.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Philosophy Friday: I Walk Alone

"With much wisdom comes vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases in sorrow."

If there is a Bible verse I will stand behind, it's Proverbs 1:18. I'm not a religious person because I know religions were created by men. Also because the people who profess to follow any given religion don't do very good jobs of it. They don't even heed their own religious scriptures. I do believe in a God, and helping others, however, I'm convinced that the world we live in isn't godly.

I'm not perfect either, but I at least have the fortitude to be honest with myself and to seek a true understanding of reality which so many would rather I not discover. My biggest problem is verbal lashing out when I'm angry, but that's a great leap from being violently vindictive as I once was.

People can only be ruled through ignorance. Ignorance must be carefully propagated in our age of information disseminating resources. Thus we have the media industry and various entertainment spectacles. And, lets not forget religions; which history shows us has been a means of mass control to the people in power since the beginning of popular recorded history. But then, most of recorded history has been filtered and falsified by the governing parties.

A fact in history that no one can dispute is that all the great thinkers from Socrates to Einstein were thought to be crazies by the masses. Only later were the great philosophers, mathematicians, and scientists respected for their genius. What's funny is that there are many alive right now who have the same aptitude as the great thinkers of history who walk around blind to their potential, or who sell it corporations for money, or who suppress it because they have no outlets that will give them satisfaction. That lack of satisfaction comes from the average person's unwillingness to accept uncomfortable truths.

All my life I've been one of the latter. I wanted to fit in. I didn't want to be the nerd. I was a class clown and trouble maker in school. I aspired to be a thug. I used drugs to mask the unhappiness. I even tried suicide a few times. Then I landed in prison for ten years.

I emerged a learned individual with poor social skills. I have been feeling like less of a human being because of my social blunders, but not anymore. I see now the truth is that those people with all the social graces are fakes. They do what they have to do to fit in. They bite their tongues and they do what is expected of them to avoid rocking the boat.

Yeah I may not always make people happy. People may choose not to like me, but at least I'm honest with myself and with the one person who matters most to me.

I can live with that.

By the way, to the coward who insists on posting ridiculous attacking comments on this blog I know who you are. You mat want to quit while you are ahead. My patients is worn thin. Consequences catch up with everyone.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

A Little Effort Goes a Long Way

This is an email I received in response to various efforts.  U.C.A.P. intends to make the same type of global impact in 2011:

Tion,

Thank you.

On January 12 one year ago, the lives of millions of Haitians changed forever. In the aftermath of the earthquake, tens of thousands of supporters like you sprang into action, allowing Oxfam to implement a swift response that continues today.

But that was just the beginning. From the flooding in Pakistan to the devastating oil spill in the Gulf Coast, we were there.

This year, we expanded our dynamic Saving for Change program and reached nearly 320,000 people in Mali. Our work enabled farmers in East Asia to achieve higher yields with fewer seeds and less water. Oxfam's efforts contributed to victories in the Salvadoran legislature – which passed a new law criminalizing violence against women – and in the Peruvian Congress, which enacted a citizen consultation law supporting indigenous rights. In the US, we achieved a major win after three years of hard work with the passage of oil, gas, and mining transparency legislation.

As the New Year begins I want to congratulate you on your achievements in 2010. You made these accomplishments possible. The progress we make is a testament to the potential of a movement that is fueled by your commitment. Imagine what we can achieve together in 2011.



Sincerely,



Raymond C. Offenheiser

President

Oxfam America

 
 
Learn more @ http://www.oxfamamerica.org/files/Haiti%20Progress%20Report.pdf

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Humpday Entertainment presents: S.K. Yule

He gently restrained her hands and smiled down at her, knowing the two pack members watching could not see his expression with his back to them. “Good girl.”
“I’m not a dog.”

His brows dipped down. “I did not know that I implied that you were.” If she had an aversion to dogs, he was in deep shit.

“Most people refer to their dogs with a hearty “good girl” or “good boy” when they do something worth praise. I’m not a damn pet.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he whispered next to her ear, and didn’t miss the way she quivered when his warm breath hit her cool skin.

She blew out an agitated breath. “I know. I’m just a little on edge.”

He nodded, and as she finished up with her bath, he cleaned himself quickly and tugged her from the lake. He picked up the one towel they had been given and handed it to her. He wrestled his jeans over his wet skin, and waited for her to dry and dress before leading her back toward the cave. When they settled toward the back wall, he was pleased to see that they’d been given a bit more food than the previous night, most likely a reward for heeding Damon’s commands.

They ate in silence while night fell, and he watched as the stars popped out and twinkled around a nearly full moon. “We are leaving tomorrow night.”

She stopped chewing and set her bowl down. “Thank God. Do you think we will make it?”

Her eyes sparkled with doubt, and he wanted to assure her they’d be okay, but he couldn’t guarantee anything. “I’ll protect you.” That wasn’t a lie. He’d die protecting her.

“I’m scared.” Janine’s bottom lip quivered.

The need to comfort her beat through him. He reached for her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her snug against him. “We’ll get through this. Somehow, we’ll get through this.”

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Monday, January 10, 2011

Romantic Monday Issue 1 Art. 4: Dedication

No sane person would doubt my love for you.
I've gone to great lengths to show and express it.
Even now, when my heart hurts because of the trials I endure to work on us, it is still overflowing with love for you.
There truly isn't much I wouldn't do for you lover.
Yet, I'm afraid you don't know that.
So many times I've swallowed my convictions to see your smile.
I've even forfeited my dignity and surrendered my self respect.
I make these assertions not to complain, but to remind you of the sacrifices I've made to make you happy.
I don't know what it is about your love that overpowers me so greatly.
But I do know I love it.
I get kicked around, and stepped on.
I get abused and humiliated.
Not by you of course.
We know it is those who think I am not good enough.
I've wanted to leave this town for some time now.
But doing so would mean leaving you, because I can't afford to take you with me were I to leave at this time.
That I can not do!
So here I shall remain until my hard work culminates in the success I strive for.
I'm not sure if this is what is best for me, but I know I can't live without you.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Weekly Reflections: Our Successes are too Few.

I've been a part of the activism scene for only a brief time, but already I have a deeper understanding as to why we are not very successful as a whole.

Cheerleading: Standing on the sidelines making noise.

Actism: (I made the word up) Pretending to be an activists while doing nothing more than talking to kill time.

Fraud: I get so many reports of possible scam artists I can't even address them all. I don't have time for mud slinging nor do I have the patience.

Childishness: We aren't kids! Yet, some of us act like it when someone presents facts we don't want to hear. Then we turn around and start campaigning against those we are supposed to be working with to make changes.

Selfish Agendas: I'm so sick of being asked to join causes to free such and such person that my head is spinning. This is not about any one person people. It is about the system as a whole. Besides, I've wasted a lot of time while in prison helping people while being lied to. Sorry but I can't risk my credibility nor that of my supporters on a person I don't know because they claim to be innocent.

Busybodies: I get requests to join dozens of causes everyday. How in the hell can I actively contribute to that many causes. I'd be a fool to try. Sometimes these request are coming from the same person. What I'd like to know is, how in the hell can you be an activists if you are in front of your computer all day chatting and sending around cause requests.

Promise Makers: This I'm also guilty of. I've committed to doing things with good intentions, but later i get so overwhelmed by the work involved with other projects that I can't do everything I want to do. However, I've never committed to do something that I didn't intend to do. Nor, have I ever just decided to be lazy and not do anything. We have to be able to trust and have faith in one another, if we are going to work together and succeed.

Whiners: I've had so many conversations and IM chats with people who have more complaints than I ever want to count. But that's all some of these people want to do is complain and then wait for someone else to do the work for them.

Hitchhikers: I can't even name all the people who have tried to use me and U.C.A.P. for their own gains without bringing anything to the table. I hate that. I'm not here to be used to make you or your organization stronger unless you are willing to do the same for the other organizations who are a part of this struggle.

I guess I'm done. At least for now. I have to bring these things to light for everyone to consider. If you are not serious about getting some things done as a whole then leave the rest of us alone. We have too much work to do in my attempts to change a corrupt system.

The task before is not an easy one. We are fighting a system that has been strategically put into place and has a lot of support from people with real power. If we keep going the way we are going we might as well stop trying. Yeah we might free a few prisoners, but the system isn't changing very much.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Friday, January 7, 2011

Philosophy Friday Issue 1. Art.3: More Bread More Circus

More bread more circus is a mantra made famous by Julius Ceaser. It meant that if the people have a culture filled with entertainment and enough necessities they will be easy to control.

Sadly the same still holds true. Here in America very few people pay attention to reality.

I had a talk with someone very close to me right after doing some research about prison statistics. I explained to  her that prisons are filled with over 38% blacks, while blacks only make up just over 12% of the U.S. population.

Her response was so weird that I didn't know whether to be angry or to feel sorry for her. Her view was that black people commit all the crimes in the country. She argued that this was the case because it was what she saw on the news.

In another discussion I quoted the stat that more than 20% of American people are on welfare. Someone responded, "Well, Blacks are the ones in the ghettos having five or six babies."

This type of ignorance is the problem that those of us who want to change an oppressive system must combat. This is the real fight. Someone at church told me that I always think I'm right, and that I attack people. She said this because I point out truths that people have been trained to ignore. Truths that alter the false realities they have embraced.

I gave what she said some thought then I responded. "No, I don't think I'm always right. I just don't open my mouth unless I know what I'm talking about. If someone wants to debate with me based on what they think or feel then they don't have a chance of winning that debate."

Then she said to me, "Well maybe you are the one who has been scarred and the rest of us are normal."

I can't argue with that. The norm in our society is to form opinions based on propaganda. Then most develop misguided prejudices which others are subjected to--whether they deserve it or not.

We are society that thrives on ignorance. We spend our lives coveting things that hold no significance. We believe things that are not rational. We hold on to rituals that are destructive and instill them in our children. For the most part we hate those who are intelligent enough to see our mistakes and who have the courage to try to point them out to us.

We want to be ignorant!

How terribly sad.





Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

How terribly sad.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Inmate Voices Vol.2 Art. 2: Harold Lee

Activism



Your letters seem to fade away

Your time is no longer your own

The enthusiasm you apply to a cause

Has really really grown

You give your time to serve what is right

In aid of those confined

Reaching out to people in need

A helping hand, a word thats kind

Seldom is anyone turned away

It mattersnot the nature of a crime

You value the making of a friend

for you a friendship means a lifetime

So even though your letters fade

I know the burden you bear

I may show moments of doubt

When no mail brings dispair

Thats just me being the fool

Cuz I know you really care

You show that in each letter you write

And in the things you share

So please forgive my indiscretion

You girl I truely adore

Each time I think of you

I love that much more

I support all you do

No matter what that might be

You bring awareness to the wrongs of the world

That means a lot to me



H.L. Oct 5

Eingestellt von angela um 05:17

http://harold-e-lee.blogspot.com/

Monday, January 3, 2011

Romantic Monday: Art. 3

Well, I wonder what I might have done to earn such wonderful expressions of sentiments from such a marvelous woman.

It is still like a dream to think that I have won your heart when to so many I am a scourge not worthy of respect nor dignity.  It would not be an exaggeration were I to proclaim you are my source of hope; my every desire fulfilled; and my reason to keep fighting despite all those who oppose me.

You are what makes my life a fantasy come true. The way we touch and laugh, and strengthen one another is a life about which many an epic romance have been written.

It is at times like these, when I reflect upon the treasures I have in you, that I'm reminded how unworthy I am of your love and such a beautiful life with you.

The things you do to me and the way you make me feel are often hard to believe. The way you make love to me reminds of all the joys I've forgotten and never learned, nor dreamed, existed. 

My lover, my joy, my dream, promise me that you will always be by my side. Do not leave me die of a broken heart when you realize that no man is worthy of a woman who possesses grandeur such as yours.

You force me to think of all the tales and fantasies that children posses about perfect people and perfect lovers. Each day that passes you show me there is validity in fairy tails.  There is so much more to you than meets the eye. So much more to the pleasure you give than can be comprehended by the senses or intellect.

There is only one thing more that I could ask of you Sweet Lover, please explain to me how I have become the most fortunate man alive by being the one you love.