Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Humpday Entertainment: The Comeback

I bet ya'll thought this no good ex-con nigger had to stay on his back didn't you.
You wanna believe I have no right to hold my head up.
Look at me and grind your teeth to the gums. Bite your nails to the cuticles. Stomp your feet.
Continue to pray that I will have a humbling experience that will teech me to stay in my place.

I welcome it.

Since I got out of prison nothing has been easy, but I haven't fallen yet.
I grow more angry and more bitter everyday.
What little seeming victories your pathetic plots amass only work out to my best interest.
Call it luck. Call it unfair, but still you can't change it.

I will not lose.

No matter what you cowards do I will not stop until my point is proven.
This ex-con will pave the way for so many after me to recognize and capitolize on our potential.
Don't call me a revolutionary.
A revolutionary is the last thing I want.

The revolution scares me!

Oppressed people will only stay down so long.
Every great society has fallen. Primarily because it became great though the oppression of it's citizens.
The oppressed classes always wake up and want there freedom.
Thus, the nation looses it's foundation.

America will be no different.

You racist ignorant bastards need not fear the excon who strives to make a way for himself by establishing myself amongst you.
You must fear the angry persons who don't have the business backround that I have.
Who haven't studied as well as I have to make themselves better after society turned them into angry, cold, heartless, criminals.

They are getting angrier.

They aren't in prison. They have guns and nothing to live for.
They feel little more than hatred and they have noone to take it out on.
You did well to turn us against each other, but you did too well.
You locked too many of us up and made most of us worse.

You will pay for this eventually.

They won't do drive by shootings on each other once they are all to poor to have anything to fight for.
Minimum wage jobs aren't enough to sustain drug addictions in poor communities.
You are cutting back on welfare too remember?
Drugs for sex won't cut it.

They will have to start robbing you opressive cretons soon.

Yeah this may give you an excuse to kill us all off via the genicidal institution you call the criminal justice system.
Who will you focus on then when you need someone to hate and blame your problems on?
Who will you look down on when everyone you look up too is openly lucking down on you as they have been in secret for so long?
Who will you hide behind when it is everyone for themselves and you get thrown to the angry vengeful wolves you have mistreated like you have treated me?

I too await my time!

Who will the government have to give simple minded taxpayers as an excuse for exploiting them?
What religion will they force on you to get you continue to allow them to lie to you?
You can't run to the police for protection when they have orders to contain you and control you along with all those you like to fancy yourself as better than.
The only thing you old fashioned bigots have in your favor is old age.

You might die before all hell breaks loose and you will be forced to see the truth.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Inmates Voices: An Inmate Can Fight Back

Below you will find an actual legal action filed by Derwin Osbourne, an inmate at Red Onion State prison. I served 3 years at the facility and I can tell you that it was the worst 3 years of my life.

Derwin fights hard to combat the injustices at ROSP in every way he can. All inmates can do the same if they educated themselves about the law. Derwin doesn't fight alone. There are several others who use the law to fight for thier rights at ROSP. You will here from them often in this blog.

I beg all my readers to encourage the inmates they know to fight the injustices they experience in any productive way they can.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Romantic Monday

I am amazed that after all we've been through we are still going strong.

Another thing that puzzles me is how I always want time alone to study, write and catch up on my work. Yet, when I do find myself with time to relax, all I want to do is be with you.

I think of you before I sleep. I dream of you while I sleep. I wake up longing for a glimpse of your face, the taste of your lips, and the pleasure of your touch.

Click the button. She can express my feelings better than I could ever write.

Always your love;


Friday, March 18, 2011

Being Needed

It is way to easy to be selfish. Even when it is the last thing we want to do.

I was in tears a few minutes ago when I realized I have been selfish. I have 4 people in my life that I know I can count on to go through hell soaked in gasoline if I asked them to. I also have to count my regular readers who support me. Yet, I just realized that I have begun to take them all for granted because I have been so focused on my problems and my needs.

There is a fine line between between a friend and a taker. A friend is always willing to give unselfishly. A taker takes and does not hold what others may need in high priority. I have been taking from my friend without even realizing what I have been doing.

I feel guilty, and angry because I can't believe I have been so stupid.

Depending upon the perspective from which one looks, my life can be seen as great or shit. I have a lot of great things developing. I also lack resources to capitalize on all the opportunities that have presented themselves. My preoccupation with my struggle to put my life back together has caused me to neglect the needs of my friends.

I don't know how to make this up to them, but I am going to try as hard as I possibly can.

I beg all my readers to be careful of your friends' needs. You never want to feel the way I felt this morning. You may also want to be careful of what you allow others to expect from you. That is very important too. Of course, if you allow others to expect more from you than you intend to really give you are a real asshole.

Always real;

Monday, March 14, 2011

Romantic Monday: Maturity

I remember what it was like in the beginning. My feelings haven't changed. I hunger for the sight of you. The sound of your voice sets me on fire. The mere thought of you forces me to smile. I live every moment of each day hoping and wishing that I will spend the rest of my life with you.

We've had many ups and downs since we fell in love. We've learned about many differences between us. Major differences that would have come between us had it not been for the depths of love that keep us going.

So many times we go into relationships thinking about happily ever after. It almost never happens. We see things in others that we don't like, but we ignore them for the most part while hoping the other person will change more to our liking. Those changes hardly ever occur.

We must understand that we each have a right to be the person we are comfortable with as individuals. No one should be expected to live there lives for someone else, even if they love that someone else.

Yet, it is necessary to compromise. Love is not selfish. One has to expect that different experiences in life will result in certain fundamental differences in values.  No one has the right to ask another to change their fundamental beliefs. However, the possibility exists that both parties may have irrational beliefs to start with.

I guess this is why the mythical soul mate exists for some people. I never believed in that.

All I can really be sure of is my love for you. I used to believe in fairy tails. Then I stopped. Then you made me a believer once again. Now, I don't know what to believe.

Forever seems like such a long way away now. I wonder if we can survive the unknown storms that will come if we can hardly handle the challenges that we expected to encounter.  It is easy to believe that everything will be better in the future, but belief in something doesn't make it true. Reality is an entirely different matter.

I want to be everything you need. I always have wanted that. I have tried to be that. It has become apparent that I am more capable of sacrifice and change than you because I have been nothing other than a chameleon all my life. You, on the other hand, have been spoiled by those closest to you because you are so good at being likable.

Obviously, I'm expected to fall into line with everyone else. I don't know if this is fair expectation. I have a world of struggle before me if I am to ever become someone I can be happy with. I can never be happy with you unless I accomplish this.

I don't know if I can fall in line even though I would love to. I want nothing more than to love you until I stop breathing. No matter how hard it my seem right now I will continue to try.

In the mean time I suppose we both have some maturing to do.

I love you.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Weekly Reflection: Pay Off at Last (Big Radio Interview Monday)

When I first came home from prison I didn't know how to text message. I did know that I wanted a lot out of life and that I wanted to make a difference. As many of you know I began with this blog and a Facebook profile.

Not a whole year has passed since I created these web outlets and I have built a website for myself and sites for several other businesses are now in the works. My latest is: though it is not quite complete.

I have been offered a job that I'm very happy about. Facilitating a class on entrepreneurship for ex-cons. I have also been asked to sit on the board of directors for a non profit corporation that works with ex-cons reentering society.

There is also a radio interview scheduled for Monday at 4:30 Central Time, 5:30 Eastern. The beautiful Butterfly Show.


This isn't all though. I'm moving into a house in a few weeks. I have outgrown this one bedroom apartment. Last but not least I'm buying a new car next week.

It's been a tough year, but I'm climbing out of the rut. That has been the objective of course. I'm just an ex-con like all the rest. If I can show others in situations like mine that success is attainable, I have done my job.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Inmate Voices: North Carolina Juvenile Institution

"But this prison is a youth institution and every inmate here closed suctody or medium custody. The age group is from 13 to 21. This is the only prison without air conditioning. It is very hot here in the Summer time. Every inmate have his own room. The rooms don't have sink or toilet. You have to put your towel under the door to use the restroom. The prison is a highrise, it's 16 stories high. The 14 and 16 floor is segregation. 16 floor is where they house the I-Con, H-Con and M-Con inmates. They get fed less than everybody else. They only come out their cell for one hour each day."

These words are typed directly from a letter I recieved from a young man incarcerated in NC. I have also been informed that the inmates in this institution must pay to participate in school.

I share this with my readers to show how sad the situation is. Juveniles are tried as adults in NC, regardless of the offense, at age 16. Jail time must be served at the institution described above until release or transfer to an adult prison.

NC's answer to the problem is breaking laws and denying civil rights, in penal institutions, to individuals who are at the prime age when they can be rehabilitated.

Yet it is the criminals we are taught to blame for their inability to be changed by sojourns in prisons. U.C.A.P is preparing to address this atrocity! You can register to join our support group @

Always real:

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Humpday Entertainment: Life is a Battle

Life is a battle. We all fight it to the best of our abilities as much as we are capable of.
So many of us are lost in a warzone of powerful people who want more power.
Some of us merely survive, while others prosper. Some get so overwhelmed they just give up.
All that needs to be said is that we all have to seek out what is right and true and live by it.
We all have troubles in the journey of life though no couples troubles are exactly the same.
All people really need is understanding amongst one another.
How impossible this is when people don't know themselves.

The hardest thing for most to overcome is the grief of loss.
There is no magic pill.
Love and fear are the most powerful emotions we know.
Love can be devestating when we have to let go.
We look for reasons to blame ourselves.
The pain of loss is so great we'd rather cover it with guilt.
We can't give in to that nor other temptations to wallow in pain.

We still have those who need us and need to feel needed and loved by us.
We have to strive to live for those who remain with us and for ourselves.

When the pain is great, remember the love that was shared and the joys you've lived because of it.
Life has a cycle over which we have very little control.

What we can control is how we choose to learn and grow from what life forces us to endure.
Each of us owes it to ourselves and to those we have lost to make the most of those opportunities.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, March 7, 2011

Romantic Monday

I wonder you know what I mean when I say I love you like I love myself.

I mean that everything I want for myself I also want for you:

A long life of love. A life filled with joys so great they make the worst of your memories insignificant. I want you to always love with intensity and with the expectation that your devotion will be repaid with the same enthusiasm.

I want you to wake up each day in the arms of someone who adores you and who showed you how much with passion and vigor the night before.

I want you to share laughter over private jokes you share with someone who knows you and accepts you for exactly who you are. Who understands you and connects with you. Who knows what you are thinking with only a glance at your involuntary facial muscle actions.

I want you to live each day confident that you are loved and cherished, and that you will be supported when you are not able to handle life's injustices on you own. I want you lie down each night knowing that your heart belongs to someone who would sacrifice life and limb for the honor of fighting your life's battles at your side.

I want you to never wonder if you are loved. I want you to never doubt the person you give your heart to because you trust them.

I want you to share the living of your every dream with the person you love. I want you to know the kind of love that makes you smile each time you think of your lover or even hear their name.

I want you to have the kind of sex that blows you away every time you need it. The kind of sex that always gets better as you learn new things about your body and your lovers.

I want you to always have reasons to laugh. I want you to be light hearted most of the time because even when times are bad you know the love you share will survive any trial, then you and your lover will soon be smiling together when madness ends.

I want you know the kind of love that makes you feel as though you are walking on rose petals each time you give thought to the fulfillment you find in your lover.

I want you to have a lover who spoils you and knows how to talk with you. Who will talk with you just because you feel like talking. Who is interested in your every thought just because it is yours.

I am only beginning, but I believe you get the picture.

I want you to have every gift that comes with love, from love. And, since I know how it feels to need the things I want you to have, I will always do my best to give them to you.

I love you.