Monday, February 28, 2011

Romantic Monday: Hunger

How I long to make love to thee, my sweet lover. Never a moment passes that I do not feel a stirring in my loins due to lustful thoughts of you. Perhaps I am little more than a man possessed by your sensuous expertise.

There are such joys to be endured at the mercy of thine sweet mouth. Words spew forth from elegant lips, across an aggressive tongue, to expand my heart's capacity for love and admiration toward you. The blood flow increases with each accelerated beat causing swelling in my most sensitive extremity.

I must touch you, caress you, hold you. My lips must know the pleasures of your kisses.

Our contact causes you to breathe heavily. The rising of your chest beckons me. I lower my full lips to ravish them. Sucking, nibbling, gnawing ever so gently.

The smell and feel of your sweet breath invigorates me. My hands explore your soft flesh until one of them locates the moist crevice between your luscious thighs. Then it tickles, fondles, strokes, delves and delights.

Now jealous, my mouth makes a path down your body leaving behind a trail of soft bites and nibbles until it is greeted with the nectar produced by the labor of my wriggling fingers. Ardently my mouth ravages until it has had its fill of juices.

Then my mouth follows it's trail back to your waiting lips. My enlarged anatomy  seeks out the soft, wet warm, canal of Ecstasy that awaits it. The first pierce is shallow. Each following insertion is slightly deeper than the last as I bathe in the exotic sensations of moisture and enveloping heat.

I have no clue as to why I can focus on little else once thoughts of your appeal cross my mind. I care not that I am plagued by such visions. All I know is that I crave you and no other. For, no one has ever pleasured me as you have on many occasions.  

Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Weekly Reflections

It's been a busy week for me. I am working on a major marketing endeavor right now as well as trying to get books into prisons that can help inmates improve themselves.

I'm not complaining! At least I have work.

I work a lot with Legacy Books and Cafe now. In fact, I had a big slice of humble pie there last night. I was up against poets that blew me away. I was disappointed with the defeat, but it was an opportunity to learn how I can be a better poet.

There is a YouTube video of some of the performances. Mine isn't worthy of inclusion here. To see it click this link:

I have events to plan including 2 tours. I'm excited about that. The thing I'm most excited about though is a future with my love. A future when I can provide for her as I feel a man should. When bills will not be a worry.  When she can spend much time in leisure as I lay the world at her feet.

This goal is what keeps me going when I have failures. When I'm reminded that there are people in this world who enjoy antagonizing me just because. I'm still amazed by the stupidity of some people. I wonder how long they believe I will tolerate it? It's kind of funny actually. I get disrespected while my offenders hide behind the law. Or they think they can. It's as if they believe I'm not capable of exacting retribution or something. I'm the bad guy, but I get attacked and slandered by so-called good people because I address truths they wish they could ignore.

We had a saying in the rural area I grew up in; "There is more than one way to skin a cat."

People often worn me about saying such things because they can be interpreted as threats. They are right, but I don't make threats. I know me. I know what I'm capable of, but it seems the haters don't. I'm just making people aware that everyone is subject to consequences for their actions.

If I resorted to my old ways I could be subjected to the law right? The same applies to those who hide behind their friends, status, and reputations. They are not exempt from kharma, the law, nor my wrath.

So no, I'm not threatening anyone. I'm simply accepting the war that was brought to me instead of taking the high road which leaves subject to getting kicked around by cowards. The thing they don't understand is I have great prowess at various tactics. Tactics I know they aren't prepared to deal with.

But enough of that. The highlight of my week was a night of shooting pool with beautiful company. I wonder if any of you have ever been on a date with someone that was so beautiful to you that you felt proud just to be seen with them. Holding hands is just as good as sex. The lightest kiss is an orgasm all in itself. I have times like these.


Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Friday, February 25, 2011

Philosophy Friday: I'm still Black

I don't address the issue of race much, because I fear I will be labled as a racist. Anyone who knows me knows all my adopted family is white and most of my friends are too. This isn't by choice totally. There aren't many blacks in Collinsville that I know of. I can't say I care to be very close to the ones I do know because most of them are a lot like the person I was before I went to prison.

I guess I'm writing this to explore what it feels like to be a black ex-con in a place where blacks aren't expected to be as good as others. I hadn't given any of this much thought except when it has applied to my personal endeavors. Lately, I've been spending a lot of time in St. Louis. For the first time since my release, I've encountered black business people. It is also the first time I've encountered so many attractive productive and confident black women.

It's a shame I can get culture shock amongst my own people!

I'm proud to be black, but I'm not proud of the conditions my people are subjected to. A lot must change if we are to learn to better ourselves. We must change the trends that lead to black men making up 38% of Americas prison population while blacks are only 12% of the nation's populace. In fact, a decade ago we made up more than 15% of the population. Our numbers will continue to decline as long as all our men are going to prison for extremely long sentences (proportionately longer than those given to other races), and killing each other over petty diferrences ingrained in us by propoganda that gets shoved down our thoats through the media and entertainment industries. Who will father the children? 

I'm just pissed because we give them the right to continue to call us niggers!

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Legacy Books and Cafe

I first visited Legacy Books and Cafe to conduct a marketing meeting with Kevin McCameron, Slam Master of the St Louis Poetry Slam, and a couple of associate was surprised to learn an Open Mic Night would soon be underway. I decided to perform since I was there.

After the meeting ended, I met the owner of the Legacy.  J. Nicks is a well mannered man remeniscent of the gentle elders from my childhood in the south. I also met MK Stallings who organizes the open Mic Nights and Slam Poetry competition (all on Fridays.)

The caliber of talent I experienced was phenominal. I often asked myself, "How many of these performers will be stars if they get the right management?"

The most impressive thing about the night was that the event, like each Friday night at the Legacy, was a fundraiser for Urban Artist Alliance for Child Development, Inc. (UAACD). UAACD is incorporated in the state of Missouri, is a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit corporation formed for the purpose of enhancing the social and cultural well-being of young people through arts and education.

I'm honored to be amongst those who do such great work. I expect to learn a great deal from the performers and activists involved with Legacy. I will return often to enjoy the classy atmosphere and the outrageously comical MC Louis Confliction. There is even a full service bar and a cafe with quick tasty made to order dishes.

Of Course, I intend to put quite a few additional Slam Poetry victories under my belt as well.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, February 14, 2011

Romantic Monday Art. 9: An Offer

The best of my days are always those whereupon I awake with sweet thoughts of you plaguing my consciousness. I have never really paid attention before, but this morning I learned that it is true.

When we have problems my world doesn't rotate on it's axis quite the same. The sun never shines as bright. Not even the air I breath tastes the same.

I know it can't be easy loving a man who is constantly fighting an uphill battle. I am also aware that only love can keep you by my side though all this.

What I can't figure out is why you love me the way you do. You have explained to me that I understand you in a way that no other man ever has. I get that. However, I can't imagine why another man who has had the opportunity to love you and be loved by you would neglect the slightest of your needs.

There is nothing I love more than making you smile. No. That is a lie. I definitely like making you scream a whole lot more. I like talking about nothing just because it is on your mind. I like hearing you sing along with the artist on the radio. I even like it when you tease me for not knowing the words.

The way you love me often makes me feel awkward. I sometimes feel unworthy. I sometimes wish I were a better man for you. I can't accept man made religion, but I know there must be a God because you are my personal gift from powers beyond my comprehension.

The things you do to me show me that heaven is real. I find evidence of if when you grasp my hand. When your lips pleasure me in so many ways. Then too, there is the warm, moist, soft, place of ecstasy between your sexy thighs!

Damn! I'm a very fortunate man!

I have trouble figuring out what to do with myself when I think of you. You are truly the only thing that matters to me. I am an ambitious man, but I would give up all my dreams if I were able to better provide for you as things now stand.

Since this isn't so, I will work hard to improve my stature. I will work myself to the grave in order to share the finer things in life with you.

Through this missive I propose marriage and joy ever after.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Evaluation of My First Year in Society

I"m now honoring the anniversary of my first year home from prison. I must look at the past year objectively to learn from my mistakes and improve upon my progresses. I am doing this for my own growth, and to hopefully make the lives of other convicts better when they are released from prison.

I was released to a poor household. My family was angry at me for coming to Illinois when I got released. I still don't understand that because with the exception of my cousin Regina they left me in prison to rot without writing to me, accepting my phone calls, nor visiting.

My support unit immediately after release consisted of First United Presbyterian Church and my girlfriend.  Regina did send me a box of clothes. My wardrobe came from the church's thrift shop. I'm still looking good though. I ate from a food pantry hosted by Collinsville Area Ministerial Association (C.A.M.A.) in the church basement and with Link (food stamps.)

I started earning money first as a handyman then I entered a contract with a property owner that stipulated I was the repairman for the property. Meanwhile I was working on various projects.
1. I created a blog in hopes of reaching others to share some views that could make our society a better one.
2. A talent show to create publicity for the church and to raise money for C.A.M.A.
3. An Open Mic Night Event to recruit talent from.
4. Promoting the "Think Outside the Cell Series" in which I earned my place in by winning a writing contest while in prison.
5. I created the United Coalition of Advocates for Prisoners Facebook page to enable prison activist groups to come together to work out a strategy that will create the changes we all pursue and to raise money to support the groups through the sales of books and ebooks.

I made a lot of mistakes while working on these things. The biggest one was not realizing that women in society are not like the female officers who work in prison. In prison, if you wanted women to like you, you compliment them profusely. When you do that in society women react to such treatment very differently. I also forgot the fact that I survived in prison by acting like a maniac. I was feared by most inmates and guards. The women who accepted my advances and watched me relieve myself were probably just relieved that I wasn't trying to kill them.

The worst of this after my release was the way women treated me once they realized I was an ex-con. Before knowing this they were very receptive and even initiated communications. And let's not forget I've dealt with more racism here in Collinsville than I ever did in Virginia. Mind you, they were still having Klan meetings there when I left free society in the year 2000. People have thrown accusations around and were believed just because I'm a black ex-con. Since this is a small town, once a few people form bad opinions of  me, I'm pretty much blackballed in many circles.

I joined the Collinsville Jaycees not long after my release. I ruined my standings with them due to sheer ignorance. Living my life has made me a very hard person. I can say anything and handle anything. I guess I expected the same from others. That was expecting too much. Many people found me offensive. Miscommunicating didn't help matters any. I soon learned that discussing matters as a member of the Jaycees was usually interpreted as officially volunteering the organization in some form or another. The Organization didn't like that very much. After a while, I just got tired of making an ass out of myself and I stopped attending the meetings.

My next set of big problems began at church when I was told I couldn't be in the presence of the church youth. I couldn't handle that. I felt that I was being accused of being a potential child molester. It took every ounce of strength I had to not brutally attack someone. I tried and tried to resolve this matter with the top church authorities to no avail. The very people whom I considered friends had these fears too. I was also accused of stealing money that disappeared from church even though I hadn't been near the area of the church where the money was stolen from in over a month. After my last futile attempt to work this out, I lashed out. I made it clear that I had no need to do anything inappropriate with a young girl in the church because I could have a half dozen adult women in the church if I wanted them.

Of course that was the wrong thing to say. An investigation started. All the women who had been so eager to flirt with me claimed that I made unwanted advances toward them. It all got worse from there. The fundraiser talent show I'd worked so hard on was sabotaged by the distribution of false information to church elders and rumors were spread about me to which I was never given the opportunity to confront my accusers nor defend myself.

Right after all this occurred I took a job at Domino's Pizza. That lasted less than 3 weeks. The first problem was that I had a GM who insisted on asserting her authority even when it wasn't needed. Next, after people learned about my past everything I said or did was taken out of context. The straw that broke the camel's back was a complaint from a customer who started flirting with me while ordering a pizza. After she learned I was an ex-con through a second discourse, she freaked out. She called the store, the cops, and the main office. The responding officer didn't even write a report (or so he told me). He said the woman was a little off. I was suspended. I resolved to quit before Dominos' investigation ended.

Since I'd broken my wrist in June and had no health insurance (I still don't.) I was in major debt by this point. I had no way to fix that so I payed installments that I could afford. Not to mention the debts I'd made by borrowing money from friends.

I still worked as contractor, but a good portion of my pay was withheld because I borrowed from the property owner. The funny thing about all this is that I broke my wrist on his property. I was not working at the time though. Everyone I knew wanted me to sue him, but I wouldn't. I'm just not the type of person who can be disloyal unless I'm betrayed first.

From here things went rapidly downhill. I only managed to stay afloat all this time through the help of friends. My market agendas were  progressing fairly well, but I was steadily falling deeper into personal debt. That was a pain.

There have been some good times too. I won the Saint Louis Poetry Slam Competition in September. Not long after that I did a Radio Show with Kevin Womble.

I expected my big break to come when I began planning the Holiday Art and Author Festival with the Collinsville Library. I invested a lot of my own money in the event. Most of it was borrowed. However, I learned at the last minute that I would not be allowed to promote myself  alongside the event. This is bad because I attempted to work all this out when the venture was first put on the table, but the attempt was ignored. The fliers Domino's Pizza agreed to distribute weren't produced until the day before the event. To make matters worse, the books didn't get to me in time to sell them at the fair.

I came away from that even deeper in debt. The world feels different now that I'm finally climbing out of it.

It's been roughly two months since the festival. Since that time I have had no luck with finding a job locally. I have entered a contract with Resilience Multimedia as a  National Sales Representative. I am thankful for that.The work is new to me, but I have gotten  the attention of several government officials and state administrative officers. With them, I'm exploring avenues through which we can get our books into prisons. The Think Outside the Cell  projects have produced books that will enable and encourage inmates to improve upon themselves and to be more productive after reentering society.

My prisoner advocacy efforts consists of this primarily. My efforts on the web have taught me many lessons about taking people at face value.

I'm scheduled to appear at a symposium in New York at the internationally recognized Riverside Church. I'm really excited about the chance to stand in the footprints of  Dr. Martin Luther King. A professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice is making arrangements for me to give a lecture and have a book signing at her school while I'm on this trip.

None of this makes things better at home though. The relationship with the woman I came home to has been on and off a lot for various reasons. We still love each other, but it its time to admit that we have very little in common, and that I have needs that she isn't capable of meeting.

Which reminds me, my blogs on Romantic Monday are just as much fantasy as they are true. My readers expect great romantic so I give it to them on Monday above all else.

So here is the life of an ex-con a year out of prison. I've done a lot, but I can't say that I'm happy about where I am right now. In so many ways I'm still in prison. I'm just climbing out of debt. I'm behind schedule on the goals I set for myself. I'm still working on things that could have been accomplished last year--had other people held up to their end of deals that were made.

There is a bright side however. I am wiser. I'm just as determined as I have always been. I refuse to give up. I have to be an example of what an ex-con can be if they put their minds to it. Someone has to do it. This is why I am so open. If you don't know the whole story, you can't appreciate the struggle.

Things will be a whole lot better very soon. I'm so full of joy I've even been calling people I haven't talked to in months (the ones I still like anyway) to thank them for their support that helped me along the way. I want my oh so not clever adversaries to know that a few battles is not the whole war.

So this has been my first year home from prison. I could have made it better, but I didn't. I will do much better this year though. 

Friday, February 11, 2011

Philosophy Friday: Internet Activism

I just had a painful and difficult exchange with a person respect and admire about my frustrations with internet activism. I have been assuming for too long that people who extended help to me were on the same page as myself. That has proven false.

I have been trying to figure out a way to achieve success for all of us who strive to fight for prisoners's rights and death penalty abolition. It hasn't gotten me little other than headaches and requests for money. Today, I was forced to take a hard look at the problem.

It is appears to me that the real problem is that many people would seriously like to contribute, but they don't know how they can really be effective. There are also those who believe that since we are all volunteers then we are not obligated to any particular course of action. Also there are those of us who are consumed in our own efforts and agendas. Then there are those who don't want to do anything more than pass the time by talking.

The sad truth is, the people who created the corrupt system are equally committed to keeping it in place. It is their bread and butter. As long as we approach the struggle to improve the criminal justice system in a lackadaisical manner, it will continue to get worse--as it is designed to do.

There are great leaders all around us. Most of us are heading in different directions in an attempt to generally accomplish the same thing. This has to be changed. U.C.A.P. was formed to enable the leaders of causes and groups to come together and work out a comprehensive set of goals that will accomplish the goals of eradicating the death penalty and improve prison conditions as a whole so that it will aid inmates in reforming into productive citizens.

It can be done. However those of us involved have to be able respect and honor a general code of expectations that will push us toward successes in this horrendous struggle. We should select a leadership committee with clearly defined authorities and expectations. Everyone, even volunteers must be dependable when they commit to a course of action.

We all have to be like ants performing jobs with dedication and diligence. The enemy here is a system that has the upper hand. Half hearted efforts to change this system will accomplish nothing. We have to find common ground to work toward overall success with unity.

I welcome any and all opinions or rebuttals.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Addressing the Prison Education Crisis

It's been hard to establish this organization as one that strategically approaches any particular agenda, despite the self ascribed dedication of our fellow Internet/Facebook activists, because when projects have been put on the table there is little to no participation.

Our goals are simple. We don't need to concern ouselves with financing our activities because my relationship with Resilience Multimedia and my writing does that. The problem we have is establishing a plan of action in the first place.

The majority of the participation I get for this organization is requests for money. No real explanation of what the money will do once we give grants has ever been submitted.

We will be hosting a group chat session at the end of this month to discuss an approach to seeking improvements to the prison education system. We want prisoners to have oppurtunities to prepare for better lives than the ones they lived before their incarceration. This will be a slow and demanding task. Our efforts may not always earn us the desired results, but we must make it possible for misguided and miseducated inmates learn something more than more antisocial behavior and more devious criminal activity from their peers.

We must change all the detrimental facets of the criminal justice system if we are to reduce crime and recidivism. As it now stands, the criminal justice system is bleeding our society's already struggling economy. What kind of future is there for a society that spends more money on incarcerating it's citizens than it does educating it's youth?

At this time all we ask is that anyone who is interested in sharing ideas about this stuggle give us a time that would be most ideal for you to share your ideas via group chat.
List the time periods you prefer in your comment on this post, or wherever you will find this invitation. Only submit one list of preferred time periods please.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Humpday Entertainment

Have you experienced a storm in life?
You have right?
My life has been quite a storm lately.
But then a strong wind came and blew the storm away.
I know a storm will visit again soon, but I am too joyful to even care.
I'm smiling, laughing, and crying because I feel so good.
It is great to overcome obstacles.
Especially since I was an architect in most of their creation.
I am so thankful for this breeze that I don't know who to thank.
My joy is so enormous that I find it hard to believe it even exists.
Hard work pays off!
Plus my life is full of love.
My family and friends are beautiful.
I can't ask for more.
What little I do still have to acquire I must make it happen.
Life has been too good to me already.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Romantic Monday Art. 8: On Behalf of Incarcerated Fathers

My Lover how are you? I need to address my confinement.
The Judge gave me a lot of time on consignment.
I know it's hard for you. You're all alone while I'm locked up.
I wish I'd thought about this while I tried to sew the block up.
Well all the fun and games have come to an end.
I had a good run, but now I rot in the pen.
If I could do it all again, I'd be still free.
I'd work, have dinner, make love then go to sleep.
When I did have freedom I couldn't see so clearly.
I was greedy. I've sacrificed everything dear to me.
My peers in here share the same regrets.
Though must of them pretend there is no heart in their chests.
I know it's hard out there, but it hard in here too.
I'm in a cage like an animal with my mind on you.
Worried that my kids are calling someone else Dad.
Knowing another man is getting the loving I had.
I'm going mad. I'm thinking about the things we had.
Wishing I choose a better path but that's all in the past.
Presently, a pen pal is all that I can be.
I'm too far away for a visit. I feel like mail the way they ship me.
Feeling guilty. It's like I'm less than a man.
My family needs me, but I'm not there to lend a hand.
What's worse is that I need you more than you need my.
Without loving family we lose our sanity.
None of us have friends in here.
We're dying on the inside and forced to hide our tears.
It's each of us against the rest in a hell with cells.
A whole lot of angry man with horror stories to tell.
Some believe we have it made with three hots and a cot.
For some it might be true but for most it's not.
I know it breaks my heart to be stuck in this spot.
I know you all are living life while I can't play a part.
And the world is expecting me to be a deadbeat.
Roam the streets, pocket pharmacy, until I'm back in the penitentiary.
I sit here like, Damn! Y'all don't understand.
This is bad enough to make me wanna be better man.
I've made me over, come up with a better plan.
It ain't over, I hope to catch a better hand.
I've fallen behind, now I have to have to do some catching up.
When I'm down, I need someone to help me up.
Accept a call. Write me to say, "What's up?"
After all you did promise to stay in touch.
I need to hear my kids say, "Daddy, I love you."
For you to read them my letters so they'll know I'm thinking of them.
I have to ask. My kids need to know I'm their dad.
I'm stuck with a pen and a pad to express the love I have.
If your boyfriend can't accept it, that's just too bad.
Make sure he knows what his place is before we cross paths.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Prisoners's Voices: A Plea for Help

I have been contacting governors and prison administrators for over a month in attempts to get the "Think Outside the Cell" books into prison libraries so that they can enable and encourage prisoners to better themselves and prepare for success once they are released.

I now beg you all to aid me in this campaign. Please call, write or email the governor of your states and the prison administrators and express your desires to have Resilience Multimedia  books placed in prison libraries.

Perhaps we  can make progress by contacting President Obama.

This is not sales propaganda! A portion of the profits earned from this campaign will benefit prisoner advocacy charity organizations.

We can make it easier for prisoners to understand that criminal activity is not their only option to earn money. They will learn from others who have lived the same lifestyles as themselves and were able to turn their lives around.

The cover above is one book from a set of four. It is summarized below. To learn more about the series and ordering information, click on this link:


"Think Outside the Cell: An Entrepreneurs Guide for the Incarcerated and Formerly Incarcerated"

"Think Outside the Cell" is a step-by-step self-help guide that uses entrepreneurship and financial literacy to offer a realistic second chance to the incarcerated and formerly incarcerated. It was written to help people build successful lives and break the cycle of recidivism. And even for readers who don’t become entrepreneurs, "Think Outside the Cell" makes them financially literate so that they can make smart choices.

The book takes a holistic approach. Before dealing with business and finance, it calls on the incarcerated and formerly incarcerated to take a hard look at their values and belief systems. It challenges them to change their minds in order to change their lives. It appeals to the layman and lays the foundation to personal and financial independence and successful reentry. It offers easy-to-read instructions on how to get ahead and stay ahead.

It combines all the qualities of a self-help manual and a college business text.
.  .  .  .  .  .  .

Thank you for your time and efforts to make the prison system a better one that will help the misguided to better themselves.

Always real,

Supaman Tion Terrell