Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Humpday Entertainment: Vol. 2 Art 2: The Scorn of all Women:Part 1

The Scorn of all Women
by:
Tion Terrell


Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. No characters within this work are representative of real people.

Epigraph:

"We are conditioned to look for justice and when it doesn't appear, we tend to feel anger, anxiety and frustration. Actually it would be equally productive to search for the fountain of youth or some such myth. Justice does not exist. It never has and it never will. The world simply isn't put together that way. Robins eat worms. That's not fair to the worms... You only have to look to nature to realize there is no justice in the world. Tornadoes, floods, tidal waves, droughts are all unfair." -

Dr Wayne Dyer, "Your Erroneous Zones" (New York: Avon Books, 1977), p.173


Chapter 1 Jenny
Wednesday 20:55

Captain Jenny James smiled with pride while reflecting on memories of her recent promotion party as she tucked 8 year old Tabby into bed with a soft kiss on her hairline.

"I love you, Mommy," Tabby said as she snuggled into her pink bunny Pillow Pet.

"I love you too Hun." Jenny flipped the light switch as she exited.

As always, Tabby's door was left cracked. Jenny stared from the hallway as her daughter settled in under the down comforter.  Despite the little girl's beauty, Jenny hated the fact she looked so much like her father.

Beautiful or not, Tabby was conceived during rape. Whenever her husband came home drunk, Jenny would not sleep with him. That was the deal they agreed upon. That night he wouldn't take no for an answer. He kicked the bedroom door off it's hinges, then stormed in. She scrambled to rise from bed, but a barrage of fists knocked her down, supine. She tried kicking up at him to no avail. He fell flat on top of her and grasped her throat with a strong right hand.

"Stop it, Bitch," he growled before delivering a left backhand for good measure.

She stopped resisting. He hammered into her repeatedly for hours. His stamina that night was inhuman. He was still erect inside her when he finally passed out.

He awoke wearing handcuffs. Nine years later he was still in prison.

She smiled in Tabby's direction before walking away from her door. That's what she enjoyed about her work. Heading the Ballistic Evidence and Forensics (B.E.A.F.) Unit meant that she could insure that sick bastards who hurt innocents got what they deserved.

Even if it meant bending the rules.

She walked to her bedroom and flopped across her bed. She wasn't tired. In fact, she was far from it. It was invigorating to be who she was.

When she married John, he was the perfect gentleman. She was content being his homemaker on top of being a full time Henrico County Sheriff.  She laughed upon remembering how passive she was back then, at how her father had taught her better than to be submissive to anyone. Yet, she eagerly pleased him whenever, wherever, and however he asked.

She would never be that woman again!

She joined a support group a few months after the rape at the behest of the department's psychiatrist. It was either that or take psychotropic medication which would entail resignation or becoming a desk jock. Neither were a feasible option.

Though reluctant at first, she became a symbol of strength for many of the victims in the group. She arrived at the first meeting a few minutes late, still wearing her uniform. The other women flocked to her. Inadvertently, she taught them all a lesson that empowered them to move on with their lives: If an officer of the law, with all her training, could get raped, the rest of them didn't have to feel sorry for themselves. Maybe it was not their fault after all.  It didn't just happen to the weak and helpless. And, since they really were the victims, they didn't have to feel ashamed.

That was only the beginning. She quickly embraced her role as mascot. Soon she was giving motivational speeches, at meetings and publicly. In turn, the public embraced her. Local politicians began using her to further their own careers. Politics had offered reciprocal gains.  In no time she became a Board Member of the Rape Victims Sisterhood. From there, her next move was to Chairwoman of the Board. Next, she was President. Then pressure on once solicitous politicians moved her up the ranks within the Sheriff's Department.

Politics also introduced her to her first lover since John. Miesha Bowers was now Henrico County's Commonwealth Attorney.  She'd never imagined herself falling in love with a woman.  Never the less a black woman. Miesha was special.  She was brilliant, bold and charismatic.  They hit it off immediately when they chanced upon one another outside the Mayor's Office because they both were single mothers with daughters of the same age.

They met at parks and playgrounds to allow the girls to play together.  The women talked while watching the children play nearby.  Sometimes they visited the other's home for dinner. The girls  often had sleepovers when it was convenient.

It was after one of those sleepovers that the relationship began. While hugging to say goodbye as they usually did Jenny released her inhibitions and kissed her new best friend's plump pinkish brown lips.  She was shocked when their lips touched. She hadn't planned to do it and she didn't expect it to feel so thrilling.

It turned out to be the single most electrifying moment of her life. Miesha accepted it. The kiss lasted for what felt like an eternity. She was surprised to learn later that Miesha had desired her since the friendship began.  The Courtship lasted a few more weeks before they made love. Miesha gave her pleasures she was sure no man ever would or could.

The relationship didn't last. Jenny wanted monogamy. Miesha was in the habit of using all her assets to further whatever her current agenda might have been. They still loved each other after six years, but they never tried to have a committed relationship after the initial break up.

Jenny let out a sigh, then smiled before pulling the scrunchy off her jet black ponytail. She had secrets that could ruin everything she'd worked for. Fortunately for her, she believed, she was now in the perfect position to keep them hidden. Besides, if she ever did have to take a fall, she would be able to live with herself. So what she wasn't perfect. She knew she was doing the right thing even if others thought it was wrong.
.  .  .

To be continued









Monday, December 27, 2010

Romantic Monday Article 2: To Know Beauty

When I look at you, I see my happiness. I see our souls dancing in the space between us.
I never dreamed I would find perfection in a woman.

Sometimes I wonder if you know that simple gestures like our hugs take my breath away. I have to force myself to let go so as not to embarass you. I want to squeeze you so much more tightly than I ever have.
I refrain because I'm afraid I may hurt you. And, I worry about appearances too.

You're a life changing force. It seems you always know what to say to me. Each time I look into your eyes
I'm reminded of how much I desire you.

This is the first time I feel fear about my expressions of deep need and desire for you. I don't want you to think I'm crazy. Yet, if I you did I wouldn't be able to blame you. I can't make sense of what is happening to me either.

How much can you desire someone before it becomes unhealthy? Before you become possessive? Is it foolish or selfish to want to possess another person? Is it as bad if you are also willing to be possessed? I would think that is fair.

The more I'm in your presence, the more magnitized my labido, conscienciousness, and entire soul become. Having realized this, I now understand that the things I feel for you may not be healthy. Many times I've expressed that I can lose myself in you.

For better or for worse, that is no longer a possibility. I'm already lost. I'm yours.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Philosophy Friday Art. 2: Christmas Spirit

I've been depressed all day. Since I've been home from prison, I've worked very hard. Yet, I haven't accomplished all the goals I set for this year. I have personal debt due to several unexpected visits to emergency rooms. And, it seems whenever I make business plans with other parties I get screwed a little.

So, I spent the first part of the day wallowing in self-pity. I received my copies of the Think Outside The Cell Series today, and reading my name in print for the first time didn't even cheer me up.

Then I decided to go to the store to buy some rum. Bacardi of course. So I walked through the snow storm writing poetry in my head. Angry poetry about the hell my life has been.

As I approached the entrance, I met a woman begging for money to get a coat for her husband who doesn't own a winter coat. I told her to find a pen to write down my number so that I could refer them to my church.

After she took my number, they gave me a ride home. Now I'm looking over this laptop's screen at them while I write this, sip my rum and coke, and we all wait for dinner. They will be spending the night too.

I asked the woman how many people ignored her plea for money. She said most people did.

That is a testament of the populaces giving spirit!

I'm proud to say these people would be here whether today was Christmas Eve or not.

Christmas Spirit is supposed to be the attitude of human beings all year.

Prisoner's Voices; Vol. 2 Article 1: Cris Corbin


Dear Friends

Dear Friends,

In two years, half of my life will be have been lived in the shadows of guard towers and barbed-wire. It was in one moment, I came to be here; where fifteen years later at the age of thirty-two, I`ve become well acquainted with remorse and cried a fair share of regrets. Despite the regret and remorse residing in my heart, neither have made it possible to retrace steps; to that one moment at seventeen when my life was swallowed whole by a mistake.

Technically in two years, it will have been a life-sentence for me. Nevertheless this isn`t the sort of life sentence the court intended on December 06, 1996. I reach out to the each of you with the highest hope you will help me conquer the goal in my heart: a second chance.
Friend or not, I want to do my part...and getting something for nothing will never be a part of me.

So individually, I encourage you to support me through a donation of your choosing for my artwork, or craft work. Your donation will go towards my need to hire a lawyer who specializes in post-conviction remedies. Through your sacrifice you will be opening door of possibility... a possibility at a second chance, my only wish.

Sincerely Yours,
Chris

I can be reached via email : www.jpay.com

I encourage you to open a line of communication with me. All ideas are good.

I can also be reached through my good friend Angela, who without her, even this door would be closed.

Poem, Portrait, Drawings, Dream Catchers, Crosses, Bracelets,
Choose available products or have them made from original ideas.-- I`ll deliver on my end.

.  .  .  .  .  .

You can read Cris's blog @ http://convictpolitc.blogspot.com/

Alway's real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Humpday Entertainment

Untitled
By: My lover

You are a dream come true my sweet lover....
You give so much to me...
You wonder if I am ever satisfied...
The answer is yes;
I am overflowing with emotional, physical, and spiritual fulfillment thanks to you my Baby...
You really do it for me;
I am forever grateful...
I love you. xoxox

Angie
By: Trisha Titsworth

You are the object of my desire.
My passion for you is like a fire.
Spontanious combustion.
Internal erruption.
When I am near you,
You don't know what I want to do.
Kiss you like..
I can only breath air from your sweet lips.
Caress you like..
waves teasing the shore.
Splash, splash, splash,
Crash!
Taste you like,
you are the epitomy of decadence.
I want to savor every drop.
I won't stop.
Not until we erupt in sexplosion!

Admissions
By: Tion Terrell

If I could love you more, I wouldn't be human.
A heart of flesh is only capable of so much.

It's quite confusing to have so many intense sensations overpower me when I think of you.

Then again, that doesn't even make sense.
Honestly, I think of you all the time.
I can never concentrate on anything other than you.

Other than us!

There is no me without you.
There is no love.
No world worth experiencing.

Your smile is my sunrise.
Your breath is the sweet morning breeze I pray will greet me at the start of each day.
I wish you were the blood in my veigns.
Sometimes I feel this wish has come true because my heart beats your name.

I often lose myself in memories of your face.
I sleepwalk most of each day because of you.
I replay our discourses instead of paying attention to those around me.

Then there are those times when I can't see the sky.
My eyes won't open because that way it's easier to dream about you.

The words "I love you." are useless.
They can't describe what I feel for you.
But substituting one letter makes the phrase fit.

I live you!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Romantic Monday Article 2: Love Me Senseless

I often ask myself where I would be without your love. I'm so glad this is not a reality I must confront.

You haven't been a part of my life very long, but somehow my whole life is you. You are the joy that fills me when everything else in my life goes wrong. You are the other half of myself that I unfortunately have  been deprived of all my life. I have no regrets about that because it is this deprivation that allows me to fully appreciate the treasures I have in you.

I consider myself a knowledgeable and philosophical man. Yet you continually remind me to avoid arrogance. I still yearn to comprehend the magic that fills the air when I think of you. That magic's intrigue overwhelms me whenever I'm in your presence. The way your eyes smile when you look at me is hypnotic. Sometimes I must force myself to ignore them in order to stay alive. I may sound foolish, but I fear I will melt or something.

There is also the fact that I have never before been so moved while making love. I'm still confused over why I cried so hard. Joy and passion consumed me. I looked up into your beautiful face and listened to the sounds that escaped you lips while being totally submerged in the ecstasy that can only be found when I'm deep within the exotic warmth of your sweet moist flesh.

I do however understand why every great man in the world's history needed an amazing woman behind him. I look forward to my future with you and wonder what heights to which I might ascend. I must be careful though, because I know there are no limits and I run the risk of musing all day.

I have no idea why I have been blessed to be the only man on Earth who can be realistically compared to Cinderella. Nor can I comprehend why you chose me to shower with your amazing love.

Despite all the things I don't know, I am absolutely sure that I love the way you love me. I know I wouldn't be what I am if it weren't for you.

 I know I will die loving you.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Friday, December 17, 2010

Philosophy Friday Article 1: Jesus Wouldn't Like Christmas

I've had many debates about Christmas and only a few of them have been peaceful. 

Christmas is supposed to be a Christian Holiday. Christianity is a religion based upon one's dedication to Jesus Christ. Jesus was a simple man who is reported to have performed many miracles and taught people how to live their lives in ways that please God.

The Christmas traditions consist of several things that I'm forced to deduce that Jesus would not approve of. To prove that I'm not just being a scrooge, I will support my assertion with the words of Jesus from the Bible.

First of all, the Christmas season brings with it a commercial war zone. Christians and non-believers alike spend billions on gifts and decorations each year to celebrate the day dedicated to honor the birth of Jesus.
But Jesus warned us all about being concerned with material possessions.

"You cannot serve God and mammon." (Matthew 6:24) He goes on to explain that we should not concern ourselves with trivial things like clothes, food, nor drink.

Christmas shopping is the exact opposite of this teaching.

Christmas decorations are another aspect of the Holiday that Jesus would not approve of. Jesus would not approve of such gaudiness. Nor of the wasting of money to produce it. He never spent money on himself, and encouraged all to give everything they didn't need to charity.

The pivotal decoration of the season is the Christmas tree itself. Ironically the Bible itself prescribes that this tradition be avoided because it's roots are pagan.

"Thus says the Lord: 'Do not learn the ways of the Gentiles; Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven. For the Gentiles are dismayed at them. For the customs of the peoples are futile; "For one cuts a tree from the forest, the work of the hands of the workman with the axe. They decorate it with silver and gold; They fasten it with nails so that it will not topple. They are upright, like a palm tree ..' "  (Jeremiah 10: 2-5)

Many have argued that this admonition was listed in the Old Testament because the tree described here was an idol. It has also been said that since Christians today don't worship the tree as an idol it is okay for us to have Christmas trees now. However, there is a problem with this logic. Throughout the Old Testament God condemned the Jews for being harlots. This was not done because the Jews sold their bodies. It was because whenever the Jews conquered a land and occupied it they adopted some of the customs of the people. They were harlots in mind and spirit.


In fact Jesus made it very plain that the laws of the Old Testament should be preserved. "Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill...Whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:17-19)   He also states at Matthew 7:21-23 that he will reject those who have done great deeds in his name because they were lawless.

In fact, it is the form of harlotry described above that allowed Christmas traditions to penetrate Christianity in the first place. The responsibility for this evolution is attributed to the Roman Catholic Church. In the Catholic Church's eagerness to spread religion to other cultures, they compromised with the peoples who had many rituals and celebrations that they refused to forfeit. The compromise consisted of allowing the heathen pagans to keep their traditions, but the traditions were renamed and rededicated to important events in Christian history.

This applies to more than just Christmas. The Easter bunny evolved from the worship of a God of fertility whose symbol was the rabbit because the animal was noted for it's reproductive efficiency. The moving of the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday was done because of the worship of a sun god.

Now we come to the issue that plagues my heart the most. There is no way I can accept the tradition of lieing to children about the existence of Santa Claus.  How can a person who seeks to please God lie to their own children in such a way and call it Christian behavior? Is lieing not a sin? Are we not bearing false witness against someone if we attribute their hard work and sacrifice required to buy gifts to a fictional character?

The ninth of The Ten Commandments states: "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."

There are many who would refute everything I've said here by saying that the traditions that have been added to Christmas hold no significance, and that the important thing is that we remember this is a season to show love and bring joy to others.

I'm almost inclined to agree, but I can't even agree with this fully because aren't we supposed to do this all the time anyway.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

I will rest my case for now though I could write volumes on this subject. I beg you to bear in mind that every prophet that God has sent to man was rejected because he was opposed to the people's traditions that ruled their hearts and culture. This is not to say I am a prophet. I know that it is my responsibility to share this truth however. I know I will be hated for what I have written here, but I've been hated and loved alike for worse things.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Prisoner's Voices Special Announcement

The picture above lists introductions to three of the books now available from Resilience Multimedia. There is no better place to post this. Click on the photo to enlarge it and read the descriptions, or view the photos and the book's discriptions as The United Coalition of Advoctes for Prisoners album @

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/album.php?aid=34957&id=136371343051538

These books are compilations of stories written by prisoners and former prisoners and their loved ones.


This photo is the cover of the first "Think Outside the Cell" publication subtitled "An Entrepreneur's Guide for the Incarcerated and Formerly Incarcerated" It speaks for itself.

The books  can be ordered @ http://www.supamanscribes.com/books--ebooks.php

Purchases will fund prisoner advocacy and death penalty abolition causes.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, December 13, 2010

Romantic Monday: Issue 1

Hot Snowy Morning


Music began playing when I regained consciousness.
My heart swelled.
My lips creased in a warm smile.

Your face lingered in the minuscule space between my eyes and their lids.
You were smiling as well.
Your soft lips pursed for a kiss as I bathed in your beauty.

Bliss consumed me just as it always does when in your presence.
Wind buffeted my window.
Frozen flakes tinked on the glass reminding that it was freezing cold outside.

I laughed to myself as I layed there with my soul on fire.
Your expression was curious and delighted.
You giggled with me as if my joy were contagious.

Then your lips touched mine.
Your aggressive tongue slithered between my hungry lips.
I tasted love on your breath.

Our arms reached.
Hands grasped and groped.
Bodies pressed against one another yearning to unite.

My mind drifted to a time not long ago when I last entered Heaven.
Your body contorted so that it could embrace all of me.
I dedicated myself with reckless abandon.

Ooh! The sweet pleasure of your nails piercing my bottom!
Spurred to ecstasy, I vigorously explored the softest place on Earth.
You shouted cheers of encouragement.

As expected, you went rigid beneath me.
A great cry filled the air.
Then suddenly you went limp and granted a sigh of  relief.

I cried inside.
Satisfied that I had met your needs.
Relieved that I finally compensated you for the miraculous joy that fills me on mornings such as this.

I opened my eyes and wiped the sweat from my brow.
Embarrassed by my sudden inability to control my laughter.
Tickled that I find myself indebted to you once again.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Loving is Action

I've written before that loving someone is an action and not a emotion.

I am reminded today how important it is to be conscious of this on a day to day basis. Since my relationship is relatively new to me after ten years of prison, I sometimes do things that can be hurtful without being mindful of them.

I love my girlfriend. That is definite. However, loving her requires a conscious effort to take care of her emotionally, physically, spiritually. This means the two of us have to be mature about expressing our likes dislikes and interests as well as disappointments.

These tasks are more difficult than I ever imaged. Not everyone is prepared to uphold these responsibilities. In fact, many people aren't even aware that these are important aspects of a healthy relationship. And, even when you are aware of their importance, and are mature enough to carry them out, it is still not easy to be mindful of them on a day to day basis. Especially if we don't understand ourselves and our habits.

It is human nature to do some things without thinking about them. Just as these actions may unintentionally hurt our significant others, it is important that the injured party be mature enough to understand that human beings are prone to error. They must also be able to talk through the problems in a way that doesn't agitate the other person.

I truly love my girlfriend I've been waiting my whole life to find someone I can give myself to wholly. I would like to believe she is that woman, but it's still too early to tell. I am dedicated to her and our attempt to make this work. I'm also mature enough to realize that sometimes what we think we want most may not be what is best for us.

I will admit that she is the best thing to happen to me in my 34 years on this Earth. I love her dearly for this. If I could have one wish, I'd wish that I could have found her a long time ago.

To all me readers I beg you to try to learn how to take better care of your significant other.

Love is an emotion. Loving is action! 

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Rainy Day Planning

The weather is not pretty here in Collinsville. It is cold and rainy. I can't let the weather effect my mood however. I am Supaman after all.

I have a lot going on in my life right now. I'm job hunting again, but things look promising. I expect to working by the end of next week. I have yet another book signing to plan for and a whole new marketing campaign for The Hard Journey Home to orchestrate. I have also committed to publicizing the Illinois-Missouri Author's Group and the poetry genre as a whole.

I've done a complete 360 since my release. So many mistakes have been made that I can't believe I've been so stupid. So many bounds broken. So many people trusted that I never should have believed in nor allowed them to get so close to me.

I guess that's life for all of us. Maybe I expect too much from myself, but I don't think that is the case. I believe the problem is I just move too fast sometimes. Impetuousness!

So here I am starting over from ground zero in some aspects of my life. I have been there before though, so it won't be too hard I don't think.

U.C.A.P. will occupy most of my time because the brothers and sisters behind bars need us. However, I will never again be mislead by people who come to us with selfish agendas. My new approach is simple: I will have to do a lot of the work myself, but I am used to that because during ten years of prison I had to do everything for myself. I will need a little guidance with gathering information about resources available to prisoners outside the U.S. I hope some of my fellow advocates can point me in the right direction in this matter.

My personal life is good despite all. I love my girlfriend and our relationship has improved a lot now that I've taken the time to learn to understand her and her needs. There were problems before because, even though I knew better, I neglected her in that way. I won't let that happen ever again.

For future reference, this blog will return to the schedule used when it was first created. Humpday Entertainment on Wednesday's. Inmate voices on Thursdays. Since I have so many poetry fans I will feature Romantic Mondays. Fridays will be dedicated to my personal Philosophy's. Philosophy Friday sounds good to me.  Saturday is a good day for reflections since it is the end of the calender. I guess it will be my day to whine. Sundays and Tuesdays will be open to whatever subjects that may come up.

So here you have it. You all know what you can expect from Supaman from here on out. Your help, assistance, guidance is welcomed but not required. You are all welcomed to sit back and enjoy the ride. If you think this blog was awesome before, you haven't seen my best yet. 

Alway's real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, December 6, 2010

Progress Report

The Holiday Art and Author's Festival was a wonderful experience. I met many great people for the first time. Food sales weren't what I expected so I lost money on the investment in that, but that wasn't the worst part. My books didn't arrive from the printer.

I attended an author's fair w/o any books to sell. How weird is that?

I enjoyed myself though. Discourses varied from writing to sociology to religion. I never thought I could learn so much in one day.

It was quite humbling.

Now that that part of my journey is over with, I can get back to activism projects. Which reminds me of the shock I find at not having had significant sales of The Hard Journey Home. After all, almost all of my 400+ Facebook friends are in some form of relationship with someone in prison. One would think these people would jump on the chance to buy books that will help the prisoners in their lives better themselves. Plus, the proceeds from sales will benefit activist groups.

I guess this goes to show one can never count your chickens before they hatch.

Things like this can be disconcerting. I work hard at this and the progressess are very slow in coming. I'm a fighter though. I have to keep going. I was giving the gift of intellect and experience, so I must do the job I am suited to do. I don't think I could live with myself if I gave up. I have to admit I've come close though.

One thing at a time is about all I can do. I have a hard time understanding why attempts to create the resource list U.C.A.P. Support Group have received so little input. It's not like it's hard to add an address or two to a forum so that people would be able to find help easier in the future. I've had so many people make promises to do certain things, but very few of them have come through.

I understand better now why this fight has made so little progress. It breaks my heart. I'm resolved to do this though. Even if I have to do this by myself. 

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Repost: There is Always More

These words are more than a message to a love. They are more than a means to communicate my appreciation for the unique love we share.

No dictionary has ever defined such a love. Therefore it would prove futile if I attempted to convey its density in any form of writing. Neither poem, song, nor any other art form could adequately capture the essence of the rapture that has imprisoned me.

This is more than a declaration of love. It is more a promise to love you forever. However, I can not promise my love will go unchanged. By the time you are done reading, my love will have grown deeper, but only because I wouldn't have it any other way.

This is more than a way to turn my heart inside out and reveal its content to my best friend. Its more than an outcry by which I iterate my vow to henceforth be loyal and true.
I could claim this is my way of expressing, to a love I cherish deeply, how much you mean to me. That, however, would not be honest. For, this passage is much more than that.

I must add, every moment that we are not together I'm wishing we were. But still there is more.

This confession mustn't be construed as a mere plea for much longed for physical intimacy. My thirst for your affection lies deeper than lust.

It could be said that I'm clearing my head. Airing my thoughts. Releasing pent up emotions that boil through my veins when I think of you. But, somehow, it is still more than that.

This outpouring of my soul provides an excuse to dwell in the warmth that consumes me whenever I reminisce about the joy you brought into my life. While doing so I'm reminded how worthy you are of all the love I have to give. And, it is more than this too.

Here, I swear to be an asset to the rest of your life. I shall be your friend, confidant, and loving companion for the rest of both our days.

You see Love, no matter how much my love inspires me to do for you, I will always be willing to do more.

And; if there is ever a question as to who adores you most, no matter who the competition is, the answer will always be me.

Despite all I've written, I can not say my point has been made. But, as you read, you should be reminded of at least a portion of the unfathomable depths of love I feel for you.

More importantly, when it comes to the love I will die giving you, you can be assured there will always be much, much, more!
.  .  .  .

You will note this is my first time ever reposting a work on this blog. This morning I'm forced to do so. When I wrote this poem it was about a love I imagined/hoped I'd find.

Now I have found her! 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Christmas in Collinsville Holiday Art and Author Festival

A week from today Collinville, IL will be hosting a celebration during which Uptown will be blanketed in the festive decorum of the Christmas season.
During this festival,  http://www.supamanscribes.com/  Domino's Pizza and the Collinsville Library will be hosting an Holiday Art and Author Festival at the Blume house from 2-8pm.

The Blume House is located next door to the Collinsville Memorial Library Center.
Address: 406 W. Main St
               Collinsville, IL 62234

A writer's workshop facilitated by Sarah Hietzman Yule will take place from 4-5pm. Along with Sarah, Elizabeth Donald, reporter for The Bellville News-Democrat, Cole Gibson, Bill Iseminger, Debbie Creamer, Kathryn Muelheasler, Diana Lesire Brandermeyer, Ethan Dempsey, Jimmy Dean Jenkins, Andy Carmitchel, and myself will be in attendance on the second floor.

The art display will occur on the first floor. I regretfully know very little about how many artists there will be and who they are. Food and drinks will be available in the Blume House kitchen.

Come join the festivities and meet great local artists and authors.

And, remember, books and art make great gifts. Not many things last forever like they do.

Always real;

Supaman Tion Terrell

PS: After the fair some of us will be celebrating with my friends at Johnny's Sidebar on Main just a few blocks away.

Friday, November 26, 2010

I'm Back!

I haven't been on line for four days. I reached the point where I needed a break. So, I played video games until I couldn't take it anymore. It was great.

Thanksgiving was nice. I spent it with people I didn't know, but they treated me well. I was surprised that not many of the people present knew how Thanksgiving came about. They were amazed to learn that it began when the settlers returned to Europe and reported that God had given them fruitful land in America. Of course this was after genocide had been perpetrated against the Natives who were invited to a feast and then  poisoned.

Which reminds of peoples confusion at why I refuse to call myself a Christian. I feel if I take the title I take it's legacy too. That has nothing to do with my faith in God.

Be that as it may, I have much to be thankful for. I'm loved, supported and assisted in many ways.

Lastly, to the idiot who insists on reminding me that my Teen Open Mic Night flopped and that the planning of the April talent show has been postponed:

I failed! There, you happy?

Now you can find something better to do than relish in the failure of a man who is trying to do something productive with his life. I'm sorry that your life isn't happier. If it were, perhaps you wouldn't enjoy being childish as much as you obviously do.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A Prison That Shows Men Dignity in Life and in Death ?

I just read an article a friend xeroxed for me about Warden Burl Cain who oversees Louisiana State Penitentiary. According to this article Warden Cain is rhetorically granted Saint Hood because he turned America's largest super maximun security prison into a place of peace, dignity, and growth with a special emphasis on Christianity.

I was shocked to read this. My friend thought it would help inmates if we activists push other prisons to follow Warden Cain's example.

Me, I'm a little skeptical.

If everything I read in the article is true, I have to hear it from the inmates themselves. Prison wardens are virtually farmers. They herd people like ranchers herd cattle. I have seen many inmates get abused at the behest of prison security personnel and sometimes the top brass. I know the wardens and those closest to them are never officially made aware of these occurrences. Medical personnel sometimes minimize the extent of the injuries suffered upon abused inmates.

I'm not saying all prisons operate this way, But I've seen many that do.

So, I ask all of you who are in Angola to speak now or forever hold your peace.

If any of you know someone who is in Angola have them write me at the following address:

Tion Terrell
1099 F Beltline Rd
PMB 22
Collinsville, IL 62234

Lets find out if we are getting snow jobbed again by the media and those who control it. If I am wrong, we really have found a place where others can learn to be better prison overseers.

We can't lose!

Always real:
Supaman Tion Terrell

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Things Are Looking Up

Having won the St Louis Poetry Slam competition, I have a great deal of respect for the competitors. However,  the poets I've seen for the past two months have blown me away.

There are a lot of things I don't like to do.  One of them is to admit when I've been bested. I'm honest about these things however, so I must tell you I'm a little afraid of the guys I expect to compete against .
At my best I am still not a sure winner in tomorrows competition.

I get a real thrill from being my best. I can't say I've been there in a long time. Sometimes you forget your way and the wrong things somehow make the good things look less appealing to you. But, I'm only a human. Sometimes you have to face the music.

But that is what life is about. I want to be at my best again. I deserve it.

You all deserve it too.

Always real:

Supaman Tion Terrell

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Opportunity for Progress

Some of you will note that I have created a new Facebook Group to work in unison with the United Coalition of Advocates for Prisoners. It is the United Coaliton of Advocates for Prisoners (U.C.A.P.) Support Group. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_128762800513516&ap=1

I want you all to know this group was not created to compete with any other existing group. It was created because many have agreed with me that the coalition's vision for a comprehensive support group would best be implemented if a new group were formed and had clear objectives and plans for achieving them.

At this time, there are only a few members who have been selected and prepped to play critical roles in the groups development and direction. I wish not to have any activists take offense to their not being included at this time. I don't know everyone involved in our mutual fight. Therefore, I may have left out some very qualified persons due to ignorance.

If any of you are interested in aiding us in the growth of a group that will, not only, advocate for prisoners, but will also support them and their loved ones, as well as assist them by compiling and disseminating resource information, please complete the registration form at Supaman Scribes: http://www.supamanscribes.com/prisoner-and-family-support-group.php

It is time the coalition took on more responsibility than we were previously prepared to. It will take more than distributing finances to others, and my writing about problems, to fix them. The coalition has much to offer in the knowledge and experience of it's members. It is my responsibility, and our member's obligation, to offer everything we can in a comprehensive package through an organization that has been established to meet specific goals that will empower all interested parties to work towards effectively changing a corrupt system.

I implore any of you who are serious about activism to register for membership and make it known to us what you can bring to this organization, and what you expect/need from us. We will move forward with sure direction so that we will effectively be able to gauge our progress and thereby be able to improve ourselves as persons and activists as we continue to meet goals. In coming months, we expect some employment opportunities to be available too.

Always real:
Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Keep Getting Better

Last night's blogtalk radio interview did a lot for me.

Having to vocalize so many of the things I've only thought and/or written about forces me to take a good look at myself.

I haven't been living up to my full potential. I've been preoccupied with too many things and people as of late.

I have a lot to do, and I'm making progress. However, a man of my potential has to expect more from himself.

I work hard at what I do as an activist. I work hard at my businesses. I don't work hard enough on myself however, and that spells failure in the long run no matter how hard I work at everything else.

So, some of you may notice that I don't have time for a lot of the things I used to do.  Please take no offense. I hope you can understand that I need some time to prepare myself for the next leg of the journey of life.

Always real,

Supaman Tion Terrell

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Radio Interview Tomorrow 8pm (central time)

Yesterday, I received a call from Kevin W. Womble Sr (I Be the Wise) who informed me that he would like to have me be a guest on Blogtalk Radio. He was on my website at the time of the call. He was impressed by my ability to achieve so much in less than a year after my release.

I was so ecstatic I can hardly remember what was said during the discourse.

Tomorrow at 8pm (central time), I will be a guest on the www.blogtalkradio.com/ibthewise1 Internet Radio Show. I will be discussing the steps taken that have lead to my successes as well as my failures. Listeners can call in to ask questions during the interview as well. I suggest that anyone who has a loved one who will be returning to society, and any ex-con who has recently done so, listen to this show. Also, The Hard Journey Home is a must read for people in either situation, as well as the incarcerated persons who will be reentering society. The book can be ordered prebublication at http://www.supamanscribes.com/ .

I'm a little nervous (which hasn't happened since my release.) When I set the goal to prove to the world that anyone can be whatever they want to be despite their past, I really didn't understand everything that I would have to do to prove my point. My ignorance does not discourage me. I see it as growth opportunity. There is still a lot I need to learn and I won't learn anything by being afraid.

I've done public speaking and live radio commercials before, but this interview will be the first of it's magnitude since my release. I'm a bit out of practice after ten years of prison. I feel so many emotions it is hard for me to write this post.

Regardless of the emotional storm I'm enduring, I can't forget to give credit to those who supported me when I was just another ex-con with seemingly nothing to offer society but continued criminal behavior. I named these persons on my website  http://www.supamanscribes.com/ ,but I still have to include First United Presbyterian Church of Collinsville and also Pastor Mike Watkins of CAMA's Helping Hands Ministries who have supported me and still tolerate me after I've been such a hassle due to the ignorance mentioned above. First and foremost however I must give credit to God though I doubt my spiritual beliefs are compatible with most people's.

This morning I will head off to work wearing a nervous smile because though I've fallen way short of God's and many people's expectations, I know I'm still doing many things right. The good works I do are still shining through and are opening doors I never imagined.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Good Morning

My body is sore from hard work and my 50+hr week is not yet over.
My stomach is upset and I have a slight headache that promises to get worse.
I shall not complain.

Flashbacks in the forms of dreams haunt my sleep.
Reminding me of the many wrongs I committed while I lived life as a self-destructive fool.
At least now I'm a better person.

Still I burn bridges because of ignorance despite my good intentions.
Enemies, who were once friends, find ways to harass me to get revenge.
My true friends still pick me up when I'm down.

Failures multiply each day.
I keep falling short on the willpower I need to meet certain agendas.
My successes are few in comparison, but they are far greater.

I'm hated by many who hardly know me.
Mostly due to prejudices that are justified via my mistakes.
I'm loved by a few who make life worth living.

This morning is a good morning.
I can keep fighting to better myself and to be the man I know God expects me to be.
Love strengthens me when I feel weak.

Love is the most powerful emotion that a human can feel.
For a decade I feared I would never know love again.
My cup runneth over.

I close my eyes to see the face of one whom I know I was destined to love.
Dreaming of the day we shall find happily ever after.
I wonder constantly if happily ever after can be reality.

Who will I be if this love fades?
Surely my life will never be the same.
Letting go might break me.

And, so, I cherish each moment during which I can occupy her attention.
I taste the tears we've shed together and still I savor them.
They are nearly as sweet as the the love we made when we made up.

I lick my wounds as I count my blessings.
Loving her is what I was born to do.
Yes. This is a good morning.

Friday, November 5, 2010

My Place in Society

When life is good we tend to forget the hard times and the people who got us through them. Well, I don't have that problem because everyday of my life is an uphill battle. I count this as a blessing because I never have time to get lazy nor content. I also appreciate being reminded how much real love from friends and family means to me.

I'm sure you all have dealt with the good intention having promise makers that don't come through when you need them. I have dealt with that type all my life. I'm so used to it now that I don't trust much of what I'm told now days. But, then I have the people whom I know are behind me. I don't bother with asking them for what is needed. I know already they will be there whenever they possibly can. I'm sure they know they can expect the same from me.
I am grateful for these friends.

I obvious;y have my share of enemies too.  They are a big help to me as well since their attempts to derail or undermine me are not only entertaining, they stir up just enough pride and sometimes anger to make me work harder. Besides, as they say, I must be great if I'm on another person's mind so much that they have to try to push my buttons. Not to mention they are cowards who won't chance a real confrontation.

Either way, I have a job to do. I believe I'm doing quite well at it thanks to the aid and guidance I get from those persons who want me to successfully adjust to society. Meanwhile, I'm doing all I can to make the task easier for future ex-cons, and trying to steer young people away from crime.

We all have roles to play in life. I'm glad I discovered mine and that I've been blessed with all that I need to accomplish what I must. I wish the same for everyone.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Hard Journey Home

Okay everyone, The above photo is self explanatory. I won the writing contest because I figured out how I would be able to make changes for the better while I was in prison. Then I learned about Resilience Multimedia. I submitted a story just to get myself published, but then publisher Shiela Rule had a contest and my story was entered into it.

Now the book is being released, and I have the opportunity to raise some money to further the book's cause. The Think Outside the Cell Series is designed to show prisoners that life isn't over once the sentence begins and that they can be better people than they were when they were arrested. More importantly, in my opinion, is that society can learn that not all prisoners are the same and that many deserve a second chance. If that second chance is not provided, many excons will be forced into criminal activity in order to survive.

The latter I know from experience. My first few months in society after my release were actually harder than surviving prison. The following link will take you to the blog post wherein I shared my 1st Prize winning story and an epilogue describing my struggles when I first reentered society. http://supamansays.blogspot.com/2010/05/what-you-asked-for.html

I offer prepublication ordering of autographed copies of this book on my new web site:
supamanscribes.com

The cover price is 14.95. I ask for 19.95 to cover the cost of having the books shipped to me and so that I can use portions of proceeds to support activism that will hopefully change the criminal justice system into one that actually reduces crime.

We know it isn't doing that now.


I will have a booksigning on December 4th, 2010 at the Collinsville Library from 2-8pm as well, along with many other great authors.

I'm quite proud that I have participated in this series because, after writing the story for selfish reasons, I discovered I was taking part in something that would make a difference in many people's lives. This project was the catalyst for my change from selfish to conpassionate.

 Prison can turn one into a very selfish and coldhearted person. 

I'm still getting over some of the effects of incarceration and I've been in society for nearly a year. 

One more reason why the system needs to be changed.

I'm sure you will enjoy my story if you have any interest in the criminal justice system. I hope that you will purchase the book and thereby enable us activists to make the system better for all of us because crime effects everyone--not just the culprit and victim.

You should also know that this book is a precurser to many I have written and will self publish in attempts raise money to support advocacy. There is much in the world that needs to be changed. I'm simply trying to do my part by fighting the battles I'm best suited for.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Money for Causes and Groups

Today, I posted on Facebook that I created a website wherefrom I will be selling the new release from the Think Outside the Cell Series "The Hard Journey Home."

I created the Coalition of Advocates for Prisoners Facebook Page in July because I wanted to encourage the many Facebook groups and causes to work together in order to find a way to make greater achievements in our struggle to change the penal legislation that creates more crime than it deters.

Responses were lackluster. But, the few that were received were good. I learned a lot about who was interested in forming an organized community of activists.

Well, I've done my part. The first book will be available for prepublication autographed copies possibly by the end of the week. Currently, I'm waiting for PayPal to verify my banking arrangements. A portion of the proceeds from sales on my site will be donated to the causes that are interested in working with others to insure more support for petitions and activism projects.

Lets get it together my friends. I've talked the talk and now  I'm walking the walk. Who cares to walk with me?

I ask none of you for anything more than willingness to work with others to achieve the goals we all profess to share.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Cute Face

I've seen a face that forced warmth to consume me against it's will. The warmth resists because it knows it will have a treacherous battle to fight with the coldness.

Coldness that seeped into my marrow during ten years of of hell constructed from concrete, steel, hate, and greed.

Satan's demons were redneck, tobacco chewing, good old boys who only respected me because I knew how to feign insanity.

But ooh! Your face makes me better. A reminder of all that is good in this world. Delight like that which people pray to find in Heaven.

I stare just so I can witness the optical illusions that occur when the shadows are graced with the chance to inspire bliss each time your head moves and the elegant contures dance in the light.

I could lose myself in you. I mean really lose myself. Life a shipwrecked parapalegic with no arms in the middle of the ocean with no sense of direction.

You smile when you catch me just to see my reaction. I lust for you, but I don't want sex. At least not right now. Each glimpse I get of you beholds it's own gratification. You are stimulation. Instant rejuvination. Possible hyperventilation.

I'm so lost in you I sound like Jessie Jackson. Mick Jagger can shut up now. I found satisfaction.

You make me as hard as a femer. I'm burning with fever. I didn't know a face could do so much, but now I'm a believer.

If I should die...  before I wake... I pray that I will not forget your face.

Friday, October 22, 2010

A Writer's Responsibilty

If we writers don't do everything we can to insure the success of all of us amongst the more popular forms of entertainment and information media, our progeny may be left with nothing but alternatives like video games and infomercials.

This thought came to me while speaking with a fellow author about the upcoming December 4th Author's Fair. It took us both a moment to recognize it's profundity. Now that this truth plagues my conscience, I'm forced to encourage all my fellow scribes to dedicate yourselves as much as you can to market our works. I know we all have lives to lead outside of our work. Yet, there are many simple ways in which we came promote ourselves for the sake of literature's future.

I'm not trying to sell anything here. I'm only trying to prolong the life of my passion. I will not deny that many authors probably know more about marketing than myself. I only want to encourage. I am available to give advice, but I do not assume that any of you need it. It is here for the asking, just the same.

So far, there are 15 authors who have registered with me to participate in the above mentioned fair. Jeff Wavruneck, the Adult Services Coordinator and The Collinsville Memorial Library Center informed me that he has nearly a dozen others. I have spoken with the district manager of Domino's Pizza about blanketing the towns of Edwardsville, Collinsville, Maryville and Troy, Illinois with fliers advertising the event on top of pizza boxes. I will also see to it that additional fliers will be distributed throughout the community. Jeff has informed me that the library will be posting posters all over town to promote this event as well.

I feel we each should do what we can to promote our futures and the future of our business. It really is our business. Without authors, publishers have no purpose right?

The upcoming Authors Fair will be my first time meeting any of you and I would like for it to be a very successful one for all of us. We want to sell books, make new friends and fans, and maybe even learn a little from one another. I wish to encourage all of you to expend whatever energies and resources at your disposal to make this event, and any others, great. Besides, a writer's ability to market themselves is a major determining factor in the amount of advances and royalties we are paid.

I don't know about the rest of you, but writing is not my job. It is who, and what, I am. I love what I do because I must do it. I might as well make a good living from it. I want the same for all of us and I believe I'm backing that up.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Metaphor

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=280SUGOH

The Link above will take you to an episode of "Boondocks." I know some of you are busy, so I will summarize the episode. By way of disclaimer I state, for the record, I am not affiliated with the site the above link will take you too. I'm not an advertiser. I don't even know who hosts the site.

The grandfather of two children (voiced by John Witherspoon)  is asked to go into business with a property owner. The businessman encourages Grandpa to serve soul food that is as addictive as it is destructive to the body. As the deal is made, the business man explains he owns all the property in the area except for the park across the street from the restaurant, for which the state was asking a price he refused to pay.

In a matter of months the middle class community is turned into a ghetto where the emergency response personnel don't respond to 911 calls. The property value has been driven down drastically.

The restaurant is closed after a once, and now again, attractive woman  begins recovery from morbid obesity and addiction to soul food, and sues the businessman. The narrator explains that several lawsuits are filed. The businessman is surprisingly nonchalant about the legalities.

You figure out why just before the last scene. The businesses across the street from the park are boarded closed. The business man stands before the closed restaurant smiling as he looks across the street at the construction going on in what had been the park.

It amazes me that so intelligent a show was even shown on Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim." Where I first saw the show via DVR. The cartoon depicted regentrification--the practice of driving down property value down then buying all the property--not a dictionary definition but an underlying truth in America. 

Think a little deeper and comment on what you come up with.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Reesy Floyd Thompson

Yesterday I asserted my opinion on a conflict between two women. Many who have read this accuse me of slandering Mrs Floyd Thompson.

I don't understand how I slandered anyone by quoting things that were stated by the parties involved. I don't understand how illuminating the middle ground between two opposing points of view makes me a bad person.

I must assume those who were angered by my point of view are not aware of The United Coalition of Advocates for Prisoners. They can't know that I work almost around the clock to build an organization that will provide funding for people like Mrs Thompson to make the most of her opportunities as a woman who tries to do much for victims of the criminal justice system and for those persons who love them..

And yes, as far as I'm concerned, the women who are victimized by the con men in prison that have not been provided the opportunity to rehabilitate are also victims of this system. Yet, this doesn't mean that every woman who loves an incarcerated man is a victim.

I stated this already.

I have to take some responsibility for my being misunderstood. I had no stake in the controversy other than being an objective observer who wanted to point out important truths that were being ignored by the parties I quoted. I could have done a better job of making that point.

Mrs Thompson and I discussed this matter today. She shared details that were not stated by Tempest Bourke. I thought they were interesting and should be put before the same audience that has witnessed the rest of the drama on the web. She did not respond to that suggestion however. Since I have not seen where she has posted them publicly, I'm not going to share them without her consent.

I thank you all for your honest comments regarding yesterday's post. They were all posted. You all deserve that much respect.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Prison Wives Controversy

I found an interesting situation that was posted by Tempest Bourke on Facebook. She was elaborating on exchanges with Reesy Floyd-Thompson. The controversy is apparently over Mrs Thompson's video at http://www.reesyfloyd-thompson.com/mrsge6309-time/2010/10/9/prison-wives-different-yet-the-same.html

Mrs Thompson used to be an enemy of the wives of prisoners and has converted to embrace them as she is now one of them. Like Paul of Christianity.

Mrs Bourke commented:  "I tried to give an honest response to this that we are not all the same. I was deleted. This woman is a hypocrite. When this show came out she was the biggest critic of these so called prison wives. These woman could not get a real man if their life depended on it ! They are welfare low lives with no values or common sense. It's laughable."

As an advocate for prisoners and all victims of our criminal justice system, I'm compelled to interject my thoughts on this controversy.

  • First of all, all women are different. Only a fool would not acknowledge that.
  • All inmates are different too although statistics show they generally have a lot in common and the majority of them are almost hopeless because they enjoy their criminal lifestyles due to lack of understanding.
The interesting thing here is that Mrs Bourke shared a link which sheds light on the lifestyle of one of the husbands of a women featured in the video: http://corrections.oregonafscme.com/locals/EOCINews/EOCINews05.htm

She proves a point this man is being allowed to co-parent although he is in prison for murder and has attempted to committ murder while in prison.

What intrigues me about the whole thing, as an ex-con, is that I've seen a lot of this first hand. It is commonly understood that most prisoner have embraced the criminal institution I described in the post: http://supamansays.blogspot.com/2010/03/facts-of-institutioalization.html  These types will exploit anyone they can and have nothing but time to think of ways to do this. Sadly, most often their victims are women who are for whatever reasons vulnerable and are exposed to these skilled con men.

I would venture as far as to say that most prison relationships are games. The majority of prison wives are likely victims of there husbands. I do not say this to condemn all prison marriages. In fact, I will be featured in "The Think Outside the Cell Series" soon to be released by Resilience Multimedia. One of the books in the series focuses on prison marriage and relationships.  There are many good men in prison who deserve to be loved and supported. The chances that they will be found by women capable of loving them accordingly are slim however.

The good men are vastly outnumbered by those who aggressively prey on lonely naive women who have self-esteem issues and who are looking for completion in the love of a man. These types of women are usually added to a list of other victims and are kept in the dark about the other women, and, even when this is not the case, they are kept in the dark about the prisoner's true character.

I support prison wives because not all of them are the same. Not all of them are naive and are being conned. I admire them for their strength and willingness to stand by their lovers through such difficult times.

Even so, I can not stand by and let the victims continue to be victims if I can help it.

Always real;
 Supaman Tion Terrell

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Concert & Open Mic Night

Many of you have seen this flier before. I attached it to a previous post: http://supamansays.blogspot.com/2010/09/my-biggest-day-yet.html



Tonight I must inform you that Friday is the night of the much anticipated event.  This is a free event put on by the sponsors named on the flier.

Teens/youth will have the opportunity to perform any family friendly acts of there choice. Judges will be on hand to select the best acts and offer those acts the opportunity to participate in the First Annual Uptown Talent Show in April. The talent show proceeds will benefit CAMA's Helping Hands Ministries which distributes tens of thousands of dollars of food and emergency financial relief each month to the needy persons of Collinsville. In addition to the entertaining open mic performances, a three part concert is also scheduled. Food and drinks will be available thanks to Domino's Pizza.

Seating may be limited so it would be wise to arrive early.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell






Saturday, October 9, 2010

Take Care of Family

A long time ago I wrote about friends in the post: http://supamansays.blogspot.com/2010/04/all-your-friends-arent-friends.html

Today I will be focusing on family. A person's family does not have to be biological. Mine isn't. My regular readers know that my biological family left me in prison to rot for over 9 years. You also know that I formed some close bonds at the first church I found. I learned as time passed that everyone I thought I was close to wasn't really who I thought they were. And, I have to admit I betrayed some of their trusts too. That will happen to all of us unfortunately.

Nobody is perfect.

However, at 8 months out, I have people in my life whom I can depend on to do their absolute best to see to my best interest. They do this even if we have to disagree, argue, and get angry with one another. This is my family. To be honest, I don't always like them all. Fortunately some us get along much better than others.

I think of all the times I've hit brick walls and I have to smile. My family wouldn't let me give up when I had to keep going. The wouldn't let me fall if they could help it. When I did fall, they raced to pick me up.

My family inspires me to work hard just because they love me and I would hate to let them down after all they've invested in me. My family makes me strong because I don't fight my battles alone. I get encouragement, assistance, and support when I need it.

I can trust my family!

We are there for each other because of mutual love and respect even though we disagree often on matters that our pivotal to our personal lives. It amazes me because I know I can be less than nice sometimes. Yet, when I look around for understanding, a shoulder to lean on, a hand up, or even a handout they are always there.

They are much better at this than I am. I'm pretty much the needy one in the group. Plus, I'm still learning to soften up after ten years of prison turned me into a callous person.

This is why I use my family as an example of how family should treat one another. 

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Friday, October 8, 2010

Supaman Speaks

On Monday October 4th, I gave a speech at Alton High School. It was an interesting experience. I focused on the socio-economic conditions that created the environments that most of the children in the alternative school program came from. I wanted the young people to understand that the way they view life was the result of experiences over which they had no control, but if they learned to see life more clearly they could take control of their lives and change their circumstances.

I told them all about my horrid past and what it took for me to make some changes. I also told them about the system that created the circumstances they have endured, and that they have fallen into the traps laid for them already. Most importantly, I tried to explain how to break the cycle in their lives.

I talked for an hour without putting anyone to sleep. I'd say that was a success. Many of the students expressed gratitude and appreciation for me coming out and talking to them.

A friend recorded the speech, but I'm having difficulties uploading the footage. I think that is because I recently had to wipe my hard drive to remove a virus and the software needed to perform such tasks must be uploaded again. I can't figure out what it is though. When I have time, I will figure it out. Then I will share the video with all of you.

It feels good to be able to guide children away from the mistakes I made. I feel it is my purpose in life. I can relate to them in many ways that others can not. My past gives me credibility that others do not have. I know that God set this path for me and I intend to walk it to the best of my ability.

Many activists follow this blog even though most of them aren't registered. Most of my Facebook friends are activists to some degree. I respect and admire all of you. We are here to lead by example. We see wrongs and we work to change them. Our path is not easy. Sometimes our worst enemies are those we fight for and/or those who claim to be fighting along side us, but we have to stay strong in the face of adversity. We have to have faith that God would not choose a path for us that we are not suited for.

I have made many mistakes since my release from prison. Some of them are due to my own arrogance. Some of them are due to my failure to be true to myself and what I must do. Still, I am who I am and I must do what I must do.

The task that has been laid before me is one that I must complete.  The same goes for all of you who feel the desire to set things aright. It is who you are. It is what makes you special. Never give up the good fight. Cherish every success no matter how small. Most importantly, be careful not to become proud or arrogant. We can all be our own worst enemy if that were to happen.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Reprioritizing

I've been doing a lot of thinking since last night. I reached a decision this morning to slow my life down a bit. I've had a string of unfortunate and weird experiences as of late, and I've concluded that I've been trying to do so much that I can't take the time to think anymore. I turned myself into a slave to my ambition.

I decided to change this by pulling back from my job at Domino's and focusing on my contracting business, the Coalition of Advocates for Prisoners, and the writing career that will finance the Coalition's start up and operations.

I was reminded recently that I'm a stronger and wiser man when I take the time to think deeply. I don't even remember the last time I've done that. I've allowed myself to be consumed by the games I've had to play in order to get along in environments where a man with a past like mine is not welcomed.

You see, despite the changes I've made as a person, and all that I've accomplished since my release from prison, I'm seen as a threat more often than I'm seen as an asset. The sad thing is people usually don't give me a chance before they decide to distrust and/or hate me. Those who don't want me around have proven their willingness to create problems for me by lying and stooping to even greater lows. The worst part is few people will listen to my side of the story because I'm an ex-con.

None of that matters now. I will avoid the situations that will leave me at the mercies of prejudice snakes for  while, but that doesn't mean I will stop working towards the goals I have shared with you. I will keep fighting because I have no other course of action before me I can live with.

There have been many times when I considered running away, giving up the fight I was born for, or hiding from the world. The only reason I haven't done so before now is because I'm a man of my word. I made commitments to pay debts and to fight hard to make the world a better place, and to fight to make the criminal justice system a productive one.

This means I will not only be working hard at keeping promises, but I will dedicate more time to them too.

Alway's real
Supaman Tion Terrell

Friday, September 24, 2010

Challenges

I don't know who said it but there is a quote lingering in our society that goes something like "Every challenge we face is an opportunity for growth."

I know what that means. Even if I don't know how it goes.

Saturday I was in a car accident. I was run off the road by a drunk driver.I hit a pole and the airbag burnt me pretty good. The car isn't hurt too bad, but repairing the airbags will cost more than the car is worth. Needless to say I wasn't in the best financial situation to begin with.

It seems each time I get my head above water something crazy, unexpected and disastrous happens. But, I will keep moving forward because I refuse to do anything other than that.

Now, I'm on the market for a new car. The good thing is that Domino's Pizza is behind me and my main contract customer are hear for me. I also have some special friends who stand by me and pick me up when I fall.

There are several developments in progress that will hopefully provide some relief, but I won't go into details. I state this only to show that I'm not crying poor me.

My head is still high and I'm still moving forward with the confidence that life has prepared  me for he tasks that lay before me.

Always real,

Supaman Tion Terrell 

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Back to Work

I was a feature poet at the St. Louis Poetry Slam last night as a result of winning the competition last month. I was humbled greatly by the poets who were there. There eloquence and deliveries showed me how much I had to learn. As I write this, the video footage is being uploaded to my harddrive so I can put more YouTube footage together. I'll post a link here when it is ready.

I've been working at Domino's for more than a week now. It's the type of work I'm used to, but the menu has expanded greatly. I eat too much now as a result. The pizzas are actually good now. My favorite is the Barbeque Chicken Pizza. It's amazing.

I'm being trained  for management and I will be doing a lot of maintenance  too. This on top of working as Property Manager for Ken Quinlan Properties. Also I broker home and auto insurance.

 If you want cheeper rates call me. (618) 741-7510.

Oh, and I help my friends at Johnny's Sidebar by doing some PR stuff for them when I can. And, lets not forget the community events I organize and promote.

A friend Joanne Rinaldo who is in the Jaycees asked if I was taking on too much. I told her that if I endured ten years of prison I can sacrifice a year or two to do some hard work to put my life back together. And, speaking of friends's concerns, someone asked me last night if I was a drama magnet. I thought that was funny. I've had my share of situations. That's for sure. most of them I created.

However, I handle my problems!  One way or another I find a way to get though the bull. God gave me too much intellect to do anything other than eliminate problems. No matter how it must be done!

I feel good about my life now. I will continue to strive towards my goals. I want a good life for myself and those who share it with me. I want to be an example of what a man who has seen troubles like mine can be. I know I will be a success because I have been one thus far despite all.

My next big step is the start up of the United Coalition of Advocates for Prisoners. It should be up and running by the first of the year 2011.  I have a pretty good idea of which actist groups I will support around the world and how the organization will do it's part to slow the growth of the criminal institution here in America.

With that said, I can close. I thank my friends for their continued love and support. I thank my enemies for sharpening my skills and reminding that I must always be at my best.

Alway's real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Return

I've been quite busy with three jobs and personal problems, but I'm not writing this post to whine about that. I'm sure none of you want to hear that.

The interesting thing is, as time passes, I understand a little more now why people who get out of prison return to lives of crime. Recently, I have had to deal with a person's vendetta against me. It has almost pushed me back into the criminal mindset because this fool actually believes they can get away with slandering my name and reputation and get away with it.

And, people call me arrogant.

Those close to me are aware of how capable I am of dealing with problems no matter what form they present themselves in. I'm not the vengeful person I used to be. In fact, I've tolerated things that a year ago would've brought immediate consequences to those who offended me. As a result, one particular person feels comfortable being a two-faced coward and campaigning against me with lies and rumors.

I wonder why people can be so stupid as to make enemies they can't  afford to have. This is the worst form of arrogance. There are many ways to destroy a person  and there are some people out there who are intelligent enough to use any and all of them quite successfully.

I'm one of them.

Now, I believe in the Golden Rule. I treat others well. I try to give before I take. I try to only take less than what I feel I've earned.  I believe in forgiveness too. I understand that we all are prone to make mistakes and that we should have the opportunity to live down our mistakes as we grow because of them.

However their are some people in this world who are so arrogant they won't learn until consequences force them to reconsider their course(s) of action. It's sad but true. I was this way. It took going to prison to make me want to change. Now, I'm forced to ponder what it will take to make the worst of my enemies realize what they have gotten themselves into, because I can't set back and watch while they try to destroy everything I've worked for.  

My own arrogance created the problem, but that doesn't mean I have to let myself be railroaded. This is not about revenge. It's about proactive problem solving.

I titled this post the return because for a while I was thinking like the vengeful criminal I once was. I'm not thinking along those lines now. It scared me once I realized where my thoughts were heading. I'm human after all and the life I used to lead called for immediate retaliation once I was offended.

That's what confuses about the so-called civilized society. People disrespect and run all over each other because often the offenders' position of authority allow them to do so without having to fear consequences. I don't know how to accept this. I suffered abuse most of my life. It turned me into an animal in many ways. Now, I'm trying to reform that animal, but it's damn hard when I find myself with my back to the wall and being ran over by vindictive cowards.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

My Biggest Day Yet

The flier to the right was finally forwarded to Domino's Pizza for printing and distribution throughout Collinsville. The event will consist of three scheduled musical guests and the youth who wish to display their talents. Some of them will be chosen by judges from First United Presbyterian Church to perform in the First Annual Uptown Talent Show. Other Fliers will be distributed throughout Collinsville schools and business locations around town.

I also attended a meeting with the Pastors of churches that support CAMA yesterday. I informed them all about the events that are being organized to benefit the charity.  They are definitely worthy. They give out tens of thousands of dollars in food and emergency financial relief each month to needy people in Collinsville. Right now they are struggling to raise money to relocate to a facility that will enable them to better serve Collinsville's needy persons. Learn more about CAMA @ http://www.facebook.com/pages/manage/#!/pages/Collinsville-Area-Ministerial-Association-CAMA-Helping-Hands-Ministry/115882391790691

I enjoy working to improve the community. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment  for one thing. Also, doing this gives me the opportunity to show the world I'm a changed man. I can't help feeling like I have something to prove in this regard. Most people would say this isn't necessary; but, the truth is, my past will effect the way others will perceive/judge me for the rest of my life.

I use the negativity as motivation.

I thank my sponsors for assisting me in the events I organize, and the friends who help me see my faults and force me to grow out of them.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Changes in Plans

I learned during my orientation at Domino's Pizza that I was brought to be trained for a Manager position after all. At first, I believed I was being hired as a regular employee who would do special marketing work. That was really good news. Who would expect such just six months after serving a 10 year prison sentence.

I came home after the Thursday's meeting which followed the regular orientation with my head in the clouds. I celebrated with some strong drinks amidst my few friends and several text messages. The next day was spent wrapping up the set up of the Concert/Teen Open Mic Night at the Collinsville Memorial Library. Previously, the events were scheduled for the 1st four Fridays of October, but then the Adult Services Coordinator brought it to my and the Library director's attention that we'd be competing with Collinsville High School Football games on three of those nights. Therefore we are having one huge night with three musical performances in addition to the open mic competitors.

I also learned at this time that I will have to cancel or postpone the Author's Fair that was scheduled for the 17th and 18th of  September. I volunteered to recruit writers for the event. I learned yesterday that no focus was placed on promoting the event. This means we would gather all the authors together, but no one would actually know the fair was taking place. It would probably waste the author's time as a result. I suggested that we postpone the fair to mid December. This will give us more time to arrange  a worthy promotional campaign. I now await the Library Director's approval.

Then I suffered another disappointment. I made a  mistake in accounting that will preclude my appearance at the Jaycees event where I was supposed to compete in both speech and writing competitions. I was a little angry at first, but I'm fine now. After stopping to think about it, I realized I can't be upset because I've accomplished so much in such a short period of time.

Organizing events is not a simple task and I'm thankful for Domino's Pizza, the Collinsville Memorial Library Center, First United Presbyterian Church, Collinsville Jaycees, the Collinsville Connection, and Primerica for all their support and guidance. I'm honored to be amongst such great organizations in efforts to make Collinsville, IL. a better and more exciting place.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Man in the Mirror

It's been a little under six months since I created this blog. Followers since that time might have noticed a lack of profundity in my posts over the last few months.

I've noticed it too. The realization forced me to take a good hard look at myself. I see now that prison has made me a bad person in as many ways  as it has made me better. While in prison, and shortly after my release, I was a very deep and careful thinker. Of course, that's easy when you have no responsibilities, nor many dealings with the public.

All that changed when I asserted myself on First United Presbyterian Church. Shortly thereafter I started working. Then I began to spread my wings in various ways. It was at this time that I began to lose myself. I was too busy to do the deep thinking that earned me the name Supaman in the first place.

I see now that I became the same man that I was before I went to prison. I was acting impulsively once again. The very thing that led to my self-destruction so many times before.

I'm on the brink of throwing everything I've worked so hard to build away. It scares the hell out of me too.

I used to believe I made great changes in character, but the truth is I'd only made temporary changes in my thinking. The new principles I'd discovered via contemplation still have yet to be applied in my daily life. I guess this makes me a hypocrite. That's a hard thing to admit.

I know I've written similar words to these before. I write them now as a form of therapy. Introspection helps me grow. My impulsive behavior is like an addiction. I can't change overnight. I have to constantly remind myself that I can be my own worst enemy. If I allow myself to forget this harsh truth, I will not make it very far in this world.

Just about everyone who ever trusted me has been betrayed in some fashion. All because I allowed myself to forget I'm trying to lead life in a world that is totally foreign to me. I never was a part of mainstream society for such a consistent period of time. I can only live a lie for so long. I know deep down I'm a good person. I sincerely want to make our world a better place. My impulsive behavior has shown otherwise however.

If anyone took the time to consider what my life has been like, and how foreign the functional world is to me, they would understand my dilemma.

But, who has time to do that? Even less actually care to do it. Especially after I shown the worst of my colors.

I feel pretty bad about my situation despite all the things that are going well. I know I have a lot of growing to do if I'm to be a real asset to anyone--which happens to be my primary goal in life.

I now understand why history's great thinkers spent so much time in seclusion. The more we deal with others, the more diverse, compassionate, and intuitive we have to be. This isn't easy for me after surviving a life of hell for 33 years. Especially when I'm pulled this way and that by other peoples' expectations and while I'm confused by so many lusts.

I'm struggling to find a balance now. One that meets my needs as well as those of others without abusing nor exploiting others.

I just thank God for the few friends I have who are caring and patient enough to stick by me now that they've seen me at my worst.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

What a Day

I had a talk with Pastor Steve Artz today. Well, it was more like he talked at me. I tried to communicate to him that, though I recognize I'm responsible for the troubles that surround me, I don't think its fair that my accuser(s) are being believed without question.

But, I made this bed because of my own ignorance. I'm willing to lay in it.

Then,the brakes started grinding on my car on the way home. Great! Like I really need another bill.

The good news is I start at Dominos tomorrow. Well, I go in for orientation and I turn in my urine sample. I'm sure I'll get paid for the orientation. Finally I'll have an income. It's been a few months since that happened.

I had to serve the last of two groups of eviction notices today. I don't enjoy doing that much. People want to explain to me why the landlord is wrong as if I care. I'm not even being paid for it because I owe my boss money for taking car of me while I was out of work with a broken wrist. I think its weird that grown people find it so hard to accept responsibilty for their actions. Especially when they know what to expect after not paying their rent.

Things are going fairly well with the events I've been planning, but I'll get into that later.

Goddbye for now my friends. And, don't think I've forgotten why I started this blog. I'm aware that, with the exception of my poetry, I don't write as deeply as I used to. I won't even make excuses. In fact, the greatest lesson I learnd from Steve today is that when you really apologize, you do it without justifying the actions you are sorry for. I'm applying that lesson now.

Always real,

Supaman Tion Terrell