Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Prison Wives Controversy

I found an interesting situation that was posted by Tempest Bourke on Facebook. She was elaborating on exchanges with Reesy Floyd-Thompson. The controversy is apparently over Mrs Thompson's video at http://www.reesyfloyd-thompson.com/mrsge6309-time/2010/10/9/prison-wives-different-yet-the-same.html

Mrs Thompson used to be an enemy of the wives of prisoners and has converted to embrace them as she is now one of them. Like Paul of Christianity.

Mrs Bourke commented:  "I tried to give an honest response to this that we are not all the same. I was deleted. This woman is a hypocrite. When this show came out she was the biggest critic of these so called prison wives. These woman could not get a real man if their life depended on it ! They are welfare low lives with no values or common sense. It's laughable."

As an advocate for prisoners and all victims of our criminal justice system, I'm compelled to interject my thoughts on this controversy.

  • First of all, all women are different. Only a fool would not acknowledge that.
  • All inmates are different too although statistics show they generally have a lot in common and the majority of them are almost hopeless because they enjoy their criminal lifestyles due to lack of understanding.
The interesting thing here is that Mrs Bourke shared a link which sheds light on the lifestyle of one of the husbands of a women featured in the video: http://corrections.oregonafscme.com/locals/EOCINews/EOCINews05.htm

She proves a point this man is being allowed to co-parent although he is in prison for murder and has attempted to committ murder while in prison.

What intrigues me about the whole thing, as an ex-con, is that I've seen a lot of this first hand. It is commonly understood that most prisoner have embraced the criminal institution I described in the post: http://supamansays.blogspot.com/2010/03/facts-of-institutioalization.html  These types will exploit anyone they can and have nothing but time to think of ways to do this. Sadly, most often their victims are women who are for whatever reasons vulnerable and are exposed to these skilled con men.

I would venture as far as to say that most prison relationships are games. The majority of prison wives are likely victims of there husbands. I do not say this to condemn all prison marriages. In fact, I will be featured in "The Think Outside the Cell Series" soon to be released by Resilience Multimedia. One of the books in the series focuses on prison marriage and relationships.  There are many good men in prison who deserve to be loved and supported. The chances that they will be found by women capable of loving them accordingly are slim however.

The good men are vastly outnumbered by those who aggressively prey on lonely naive women who have self-esteem issues and who are looking for completion in the love of a man. These types of women are usually added to a list of other victims and are kept in the dark about the other women, and, even when this is not the case, they are kept in the dark about the prisoner's true character.

I support prison wives because not all of them are the same. Not all of them are naive and are being conned. I admire them for their strength and willingness to stand by their lovers through such difficult times.

Even so, I can not stand by and let the victims continue to be victims if I can help it.

Always real;
 Supaman Tion Terrell


  1. As a prison wife myself, I find it objectionable that the term "victim" is used to describe those women who are preyed upon by corrupt inmates. Whilst I acknowledge that the author above recognizes not all prison wives are victims, I go further and would say that none are. As grown women we need to stop using this victim role to excuse our own weakness. My husband no more takes advantage of me than any other freeworld man could. Neither could because I refuse to be a "victim" of any man. Where he is, where I am - all of that is irrelevant. To me this is a non-story. Just a bunch of stereotypes strung together in words.


  3. How have I slandered Reesy's name, Boss Lady Rider?
    I only copied and pasted what was on the web. Things she stated herself. I didn't even disagree with her. In fact, I praised her and all the women who choose to stand behind their incarcerated lovers.

  4. I too am a prison wife. This is ridiculous. Reesy is trying to provide a support network for prison wives and the like, in general. She is entitled to her own opinion.

    Although what you have said about the victimizing of women from some men, I do agree with. I have seen this happen time and time again. I am not in a relationship like this with my husband, we have sat back and shook our own heads in regards to the things that go inside the prison system although not everyone woman who has a man in prison is victimized and you did state this.

    I don't think that Reesy in anyway should have her name slandered across the internet though. That's just not cool

  5. I understand what your saying to a point. Not all women are naive, and not all men are conning women. I don't have low self esteem, and I'm not naive. I have two children with my husband, and we had a relationship prior to his incarceration. No one is a "victim" we make our own choices, and no one is forced into loving an inmate. I am a college student, and my children are well cared for. I work just like the next.

  6. So hold on a second. I married my husband 2 years before he got arrested, we had a baby in that time that he took care of our daughter 24/7 so I could rest. He relapsed & wound up in prison. He never hurt anyone, doesnt ask me for anything & never has.....does that make me a victim for standing by my husband through his tuff time away from his family??? We are all entitled to an opinion & are entitle to change our opinion. I agree with what Boss Lay Ryder said "SLANDERING SOMEONE'S NAME TO GET THE POINT ACROSS IS NOT THE WAY. YOU BEING AN EX CON SHOULD FULLY UNDERSTAND HYPOCRYTICAL AND JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE WHO PLACE YOU IN A CATAGORY DUE TO THEIR PAST." You do owe Reesy Floyd-Thompson an apology.

  7. i believe that you speak the truth. as far as reesey floydd thompsom; SHE IS A BIG ASS FAKE. she gonna tell people that she got married in a pa county prison. well iam here to say bull-shit. you cant. you can barely get married in the state. she wantsto preach to everyone hpw they should live and deal with they significant other; but truth be told she didnt even know her "husband" on the street. so lets really talk about low self esteem honey. you even said on your page u probably wouldnt of married him if u were in ur right state of mind. murder is a bitch so stop acting like you & ur man are hollier than tough

  8. I agree with BellaSasso. There are good and bad men on the outside too..not just the inside. I am a prison wife. I am not ugly, poor, uneducated or anything else that anyone says. I love a man that is in prison...and he loves me. This is the best relationship I have ever been in by far. So before you start talking about Reesy or anyone that you obviously don't know..you need to make sure your own hands are clean first. Hypocrite.

  9. Ummm Nicole, get your facts straight before you speak. Reesy has become like a sister to me and has told me a lot of things and one of those things was that she was NOT married in a PA jail....like you said, you can not get married in a PA prison. She married her husband before he was even convicted so shut up because you don't know what you are talking about. She did know her husband on the street and as for the self esteem issue she said she HAD, you took that the wrong way. I admire what Reesy does and for you to call her 'A BIG ASS FAKE' pisses me off & you should gather up your information. You obviously do not know the real Reesy so stop talking about her like you do. She doesn't preach either, she gives her ADVISE period...take it or don't. If you really payed any attention you would know that she is a certified life coach so she knows more then you. I wasn't even going to comment til I saw that. You are obviously one of the ones that were deleted and if you weren't then you should learn as to why the others were. I said my peace and Im done.

  10. I agree with Nicole, Reesy Floyd Thompson is not truly whom she seems to portray on here. There are alot of naive people that tend to believe everything she says. She does not represent wife's of inmates, she represent the stereotypical wife of an inmate, whom have expressed her own insecurities,have stated "she would not of married her husband if she was in a place in her life she is now" she seems to have a problem with others expressing their opinions, she talks about others, but feel as if wives of prisoners shouldn't be stereotyped. I was fooled like the others that continue to support her, but they have to see it for themselves. They choose to be naive and that is why I agree with tion when it was stated that some women are manipulated and used, and the key word is "some'. Some women seem to feel that thay need someone to help them through this life that they chose to support their loved one, but in reality they need to find their own strength, and stop looking for others to uplift them for. Reesy is in this for self interest, and if you begin to disagree with her, you will be deleted , and she will post it for discussion for others in the group to attack you verbally with extreme disrepect. She seems to have a personal issue with woman whom choose to have children, and feel they shouldn't get any special treatment of any kind. Perhaps her issues are bigger than she leads on. She talks about people who recieve government assistance but took a job to help low poverty people, sounds very much hypocritical. Who is she to talk about others when she is no angel herself? She feels as if your interest outside of hers, is a form of betrayal of some sort. Tion you never slandered her name, and those that were offended had something within them that gave them a guity conscious, not you. You stated facts based on your experience. I am upset that people will see all wives/girlfriends of inmates as Reesy and they are not.Setting the record straight......