Monday, September 13, 2010

The Return

I've been quite busy with three jobs and personal problems, but I'm not writing this post to whine about that. I'm sure none of you want to hear that.

The interesting thing is, as time passes, I understand a little more now why people who get out of prison return to lives of crime. Recently, I have had to deal with a person's vendetta against me. It has almost pushed me back into the criminal mindset because this fool actually believes they can get away with slandering my name and reputation and get away with it.

And, people call me arrogant.

Those close to me are aware of how capable I am of dealing with problems no matter what form they present themselves in. I'm not the vengeful person I used to be. In fact, I've tolerated things that a year ago would've brought immediate consequences to those who offended me. As a result, one particular person feels comfortable being a two-faced coward and campaigning against me with lies and rumors.

I wonder why people can be so stupid as to make enemies they can't  afford to have. This is the worst form of arrogance. There are many ways to destroy a person  and there are some people out there who are intelligent enough to use any and all of them quite successfully.

I'm one of them.

Now, I believe in the Golden Rule. I treat others well. I try to give before I take. I try to only take less than what I feel I've earned.  I believe in forgiveness too. I understand that we all are prone to make mistakes and that we should have the opportunity to live down our mistakes as we grow because of them.

However their are some people in this world who are so arrogant they won't learn until consequences force them to reconsider their course(s) of action. It's sad but true. I was this way. It took going to prison to make me want to change. Now, I'm forced to ponder what it will take to make the worst of my enemies realize what they have gotten themselves into, because I can't set back and watch while they try to destroy everything I've worked for.  

My own arrogance created the problem, but that doesn't mean I have to let myself be railroaded. This is not about revenge. It's about proactive problem solving.

I titled this post the return because for a while I was thinking like the vengeful criminal I once was. I'm not thinking along those lines now. It scared me once I realized where my thoughts were heading. I'm human after all and the life I used to lead called for immediate retaliation once I was offended.

That's what confuses about the so-called civilized society. People disrespect and run all over each other because often the offenders' position of authority allow them to do so without having to fear consequences. I don't know how to accept this. I suffered abuse most of my life. It turned me into an animal in many ways. Now, I'm trying to reform that animal, but it's damn hard when I find myself with my back to the wall and being ran over by vindictive cowards.

Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell

2 comments:

  1. Love concurs all. Love you always remember that!

    ReplyDelete