After getting put in check, Jimbob scratched his beard. He did that a lot. For a while, I wondered if he had fleas or ticks or something.
Lulabell came back with the drink and a deck of cards. Jimbob took the real glass from her hand and took a drink before she could set the cards down.
I picked the cards up and started shuffling. Lula cut the cards and then I dealt. I won the first hand. Then Lula won the second one. Jimbob ordered another drink as he dealt.
"Don't be puttin no water in dis one neiva, Lula." He grumbled as she headed into the house.
Lula ignored him.
"So what you been doin?" Jimbob asked Lula after sipping his drink and descretely rolling his eyes at her.
"I been goot. I be glad when my Charlieboo get here though. I was layin in da bed wetter dan hugslop (hog slop) waitin to see'em."
I almost cried from trying so hard not to laugh.
"Why you aint sent for me?" Jimbob asked. "I'll make you leave dat ole coon."
Lula sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. "I heard 'bout you. You can't keep dat lil peewee up five minutes."
I looked up and saw a pink Caddilac convertertable snailing to the house. The old man driving it looked white at that distance. Redish white hair layed against his temple under his black Kangol hat. He was bobbing his head to music. "You to old to be acting frisky, Lula," I teased.
"Girl shit. I three times twenty one and I do da nasty more dan you." She snapped back.
Charlie stepped out of his car wearing black wingtipped shoes, grey slacks, a black belt, white shirt, and a black bowtie with white paislies on it.
"How old is he, Lulabell? I asked.
"Se'empty, but I pull 'ese here false teefis out and have him hard as if he was eighteen," she said while plucking a card from the deck. "Ha ha. Look at dat." She layed down a three card spread.
"Just dis a card you lyin ole bat," Jimbob barked.
"How everybody doin?" Charlie asked, stepping slowly onto the porch.
"Gimme a kiss Daddy," Lula said as she threw a card on the table."
"Doin aghright," Jimbob mumbled.
Charlieboo walked over to Lula then they shared a long wet sloppy kiss. Charlieboo smiled when it finally ended. "Whoah Gal, you tryin-na make me jump yer bones rightchere on da porch aintcha?"
She grabbed his hand and grinned. "Lets go in da house for a lil while affa dis hand."
Jimbob picked her card then layed down a three card spread of his own. " You aint running nowhere yet."
I plucked a card from the deck. I knew I couldn't win the hand. None of my cards matched. I had the ace of spades though, so I broke even on the hand since we had a side pot on high spade. I threw out the card I plucked and Lula used it to tunk out. Jimbob and I had to give her another dollar.
"You want anotha drank or a plate tell I come back?" She asked Jimbob.
"Chicken breasts, tatersalad, scringbeans, chittlens, and rolls."
"Yeah. I reccon I take a plate, and a five dollar whiskey"
Lula looked at me. "Come on."
All those pots and pans I saw on the table was up there for a reason. Lula showed me the portions she served on dinner plates that sold for five dollars. Then she showed me which cups to use to serve shots for one, two, and five dollars. When I took Jimbob his order, she led her boyfriend into the livingroom and closed the door.
There's nothing funnier than watching a drunk man with no teeth try to eat fried chicken. He had the nerve to try to flirt with me too. I ate to keep from laughing in his face.
My cousins came walking up to the house before I lost control. I like my cousins. They were all younger than me and just about worshipped me. You see, Mom has good fashion sense and I learned from her. Everything thing I bought from hairspray to underwear were designer brand. Lula kept my cousins neat and clean, but she couldn't even spell fashion.
I walked down the driveway to meet them and to get away from Jimbob. They was more than happy to see me. Taterbug was fifthteen. Puddin was fourteen and, the youngest, Angie was thirteen. They was Pam's kids. She was in jail for forgery and Lula took custody of the kids. Angie was Lulabell's daughter which made her my dad's cousin.
"Granma in da house wit Charlieboo?" Taterbug asked.
"Yep." The first thing I noticed were their new namebrand clothes.
"Dey so nasty," Angie said.
"So. You doin it to John, And he ugly," Puddin said.
"Who else here?" Taterbug asked.
"Nobody but Jimbob," I answered.
Errybody else be here in a lil while. Dey play cards and get drunk erry Friday and Sa'erday," Taterbug explained. "Granma make a killin too. Specially on da first of da munt."
"What ya'll do for the wekend?" I asked.
"Stay out the grown folks' way" Angie replied.
"What you do for fun?"
"My boyfriend live down the road." Angie said.
"I got a Nintendo. Plus my girl got a car." Taterbug answered.
I looked at Puddin who shrugged her shoulders. "I study alot."
"What ya'll do in da city?" Angie asked.
"Same shit," I told her.
A car came up behind us. We all turned and looked back.
"Dere go Roscoe," Angie said." You got his money?"
"Yeah I got it. Shut da hell up." Taterbug walked up to the green Ford Bronco and talked to the driver.
Angie leaned toward my ear."Roscoe sell drugs. Tater sell'em for'em at school. Granma don't know."
I looked over at Taterbug as he handed the driver a wad of cash and got a rolled up brown paper bag in return. "What he sell?"
"Weed. He make alotta money too. He gotta do somfin. Granma was sending us to school lookin like bums."
Roscoe tooted his horn as he drove buy us after him and Taterbug was finished they business. I couldn't see him good enough to tell if he was cute or not.
"Roscoe wanna know why you aint call'em yet?" Taterbug asked Puddin after he caught up with us.
"I don't want that grown man." Puddin snapped. "I don't care how much money he got. He just goin end up back in jail."
"Or dead like my Daddy," Angie added.
"You might end up in dere wit'em," Puddin told Taterbug.
'You won't complainin when me and him went half on your computer." Tater pointed out. . .
I'll continue Consuela's story where it left off next week when Humpday Entertainment returns.
Supaman Tion Terrell