Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A Prisoner's Voice

Today, I am launching something new here at "Supaman Says." Thursday's will be dedicated to our brothers and sisters behind bars. I don't have a name for these sessions yet, and I'm open to suggestions. Make your suggestions for a title at: terrelltion@yahoomail. The purpose of these sessions is to give prisoners an outlet to express themselves to a public they could not reach before. Prisoners suffer all types of abuse and need much support in their efforts to better themselves.

The following is a message from a friend of a prisoner whose name I have no permission to release. It is followed by a letter addressed to me from a prisoner. The prisoner's contact information is available upon request. State your requests at the email adress highlighted above.

Tion, thank you so much for remembering to post Carlos' letter on your blog. Please don't worry that you couldn't find it, you really don't have to apologize for that! I really, really appreciate your help; thanks a million!!! Here's the letter:

Thank you!
. . .

I want to start off thanking you. Thanking you for taking a moment of your time to befriend me, support me, and listen to me. It really is heart-warming to know that you're out there, looking into my world. Giving me the much needed support and strength to continue on with my struggles. Just knowing there's someone outside this place who cares, who's paying attention, and is also creating changes in this world, means a lot to me. Once again, thank you.

It is not easy being confined in a 7 x 6 cell, with four white walls and a stainless steel door; for 23-1/2 hours, day in, day out. Struggle is something I do constantly to keep my sanity. Struggle is an element in my life that brings about the strength needed to succeed beyond life's boundaries. With every day I get stronger and all the wiser, as everyone does. And since my arrival at Quentin's Adjustment Center I've learned what solitude means and what it feels like to be secluded from the world. Over three years now within this hell hole, I've come across many emotions, many moments of hardships and when I feel my knees can't take no more, someone like you reaches in, extending a hand with words that captivate me, encourage me, and strengthen me. I receive a sudden burst of energy; an energy to continue facing my tormenters for I am not alone, the world is watching. I have always had this feeling that everyone I come across enriches me somehow, some way. So you can understand the gratitude I have for you, for this period of time we're sharing.

When my girl told me I could post my comments on the web, I became ecstatic (still am) for this moment. For the release of my words, my thoughts from the confinement they reside. Another thing these prison walls can't have of me. Through her, you'll hear from me regularly, you'll be witness to one man's journey as I sit on Death Row, fighting for freedom, and through my eyes, my words you'll see life on Death Row. Through hers you'll see the man I am, have become 'cause of her and individuals like you.

At the present moment I have no lawyer or financial support as I wait for one to take up my appeal. The expected wait for one is 4.5 years, so I am truly sorry I cannot get into specifics about my case. Meanwhile it is essential that I maintain myself mentally and physically fit, which I am a manic at. There's little one can do, confined in a cell, but for some odd reason, I find myself always busy. Too busy to get through everything I have in mind. As if I am in a race against time. Yet it is good that I maintain myself busy. It is the secret here to not lose your mind or go mad.

You can see how writing, reading, and drawing all play key roles in one's sanity here. While working out is in a different category altogether, for more than 50% of the prisoners on Death Row die of natural causes and 20% of them, I regret to say, take their own life. Rather than deal with the torment of having a death sentence hanging above their head. Having a routine is important!!! Having someone that cares is what I call a blessing! For this battle I fight is a long one, a tough one, that just started.

So as I conclude this entry, I thank you again for everything. Especially for your help, time and support. Well, I just looked out my window. When I started this, San Quentin was surrounded by fog and as I close it, it is very grey and misty. A sign of the rain to come. I'm doing okay by the way. Feeling better having written this, just expressing myself to you and allowing my thoughts to float away towards your world.

Take care,

Carlos II

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