It is way to easy to be selfish. Even when it is the last thing we want to do.
I was in tears a few minutes ago when I realized I have been selfish. I have 4 people in my life that I know I can count on to go through hell soaked in gasoline if I asked them to. I also have to count my regular readers who support me. Yet, I just realized that I have begun to take them all for granted because I have been so focused on my problems and my needs.
There is a fine line between between a friend and a taker. A friend is always willing to give unselfishly. A taker takes and does not hold what others may need in high priority. I have been taking from my friend without even realizing what I have been doing.
I feel guilty, and angry because I can't believe I have been so stupid.
Depending upon the perspective from which one looks, my life can be seen as great or shit. I have a lot of great things developing. I also lack resources to capitalize on all the opportunities that have presented themselves. My preoccupation with my struggle to put my life back together has caused me to neglect the needs of my friends.
I don't know how to make this up to them, but I am going to try as hard as I possibly can.
I beg all my readers to be careful of your friends' needs. You never want to feel the way I felt this morning. You may also want to be careful of what you allow others to expect from you. That is very important too. Of course, if you allow others to expect more from you than you intend to really give you are a real asshole.