Monday, March 14, 2011

Romantic Monday: Maturity

I remember what it was like in the beginning. My feelings haven't changed. I hunger for the sight of you. The sound of your voice sets me on fire. The mere thought of you forces me to smile. I live every moment of each day hoping and wishing that I will spend the rest of my life with you.

We've had many ups and downs since we fell in love. We've learned about many differences between us. Major differences that would have come between us had it not been for the depths of love that keep us going.

So many times we go into relationships thinking about happily ever after. It almost never happens. We see things in others that we don't like, but we ignore them for the most part while hoping the other person will change more to our liking. Those changes hardly ever occur.

We must understand that we each have a right to be the person we are comfortable with as individuals. No one should be expected to live there lives for someone else, even if they love that someone else.

Yet, it is necessary to compromise. Love is not selfish. One has to expect that different experiences in life will result in certain fundamental differences in values.  No one has the right to ask another to change their fundamental beliefs. However, the possibility exists that both parties may have irrational beliefs to start with.

I guess this is why the mythical soul mate exists for some people. I never believed in that.

All I can really be sure of is my love for you. I used to believe in fairy tails. Then I stopped. Then you made me a believer once again. Now, I don't know what to believe.

Forever seems like such a long way away now. I wonder if we can survive the unknown storms that will come if we can hardly handle the challenges that we expected to encounter.  It is easy to believe that everything will be better in the future, but belief in something doesn't make it true. Reality is an entirely different matter.

I want to be everything you need. I always have wanted that. I have tried to be that. It has become apparent that I am more capable of sacrifice and change than you because I have been nothing other than a chameleon all my life. You, on the other hand, have been spoiled by those closest to you because you are so good at being likable.

Obviously, I'm expected to fall into line with everyone else. I don't know if this is fair expectation. I have a world of struggle before me if I am to ever become someone I can be happy with. I can never be happy with you unless I accomplish this.

I don't know if I can fall in line even though I would love to. I want nothing more than to love you until I stop breathing. No matter how hard it my seem right now I will continue to try.

In the mean time I suppose we both have some maturing to do.

I love you.

1 comment:

  1. Never give up, never give up, on those things that are not seen such as fairytales. For they are a part of your most inner being, a core foundation, a dream if you will. This should be the fabric of our lives, use this sense that we have been so freely given. Dream it can save your human ability to love.