Hey everybody! I'm feeling good right now. Its 5:57am. I have responsibilities, or obligations I should say, to those who play roles in my life. My readers are included. So, I'm writing this now to make sure it gets done.
I woke up early. I sat for a while, then grabbed my pen and pad, and barricaded myself in the bedroom. I like to think like this. I'm comfortable like this. After all, I spent the last three years of my life in a cell by myself. Sometimes I went outside for the allotted 1 hour a day, five days a week. You had to be carefull though. Excrement fights were a normal occurrence in the small cages we were held in for those recreation periods. I was taken from that life and thrown into free society with no preparation. Now I have to find a job in an economy which even the rich are wary about.
All the people I meet have agendas. I have one too, of course. I've made mine public knowledge. Most people are not so open. Thats life. I love reaching out to help others, but doing so while broke has been a real challenge. I try not to take too much from people because I try to treat others better than they deserve to be treated. The more people do for me, the better I must treat them. Some people offer more than I can repay. I feel guilty when they do that.
But anyway, I've learned a way to earn money thats legal. A handy-man, grounds keeper, car washer etc. In fact, I'm certified in horticulture, and I even taught that vocation while I was in prison.
It's that serious!
I have a little network through church. Nice people who do a lot for the community. I like them a lot. Nobody pressures me about religion. The best part is volunteering for charity work; this gives me a chance to repay my debt to society and life.
I guess some of you want to know why I went prison in the first place. I go into details in the "Think outside the Cell Series" that is due to be released in July this year. I will say, however, I'm not a sex offender, nor murderer. My life story will be available later, but I have to do one thing at a time while I catch up on the ten years that passed me by.
But anyway, yesterday was beautiful. I ate in a Denny's for the first time in ten years. I loved it! I know a whole lot about restaurants--you probably wouldn't believe my resume. I enjoyed everything.
Lunch discussion led to finding work and the idea to launch my handy-man enterprise. Then I came home and found a way to enroll in college. Kaplan University offers accreditted on line courses that enable students to earn degrees without setting foot on campus. I had a very determined and helpful admissions advisor Ms Natalie Techeira. She was persistent until I was registered and all my financial aid matters were taken care of. She refused to allow me to mess up.
The best part is after grants and loans, I only have to pay $85 out of pocket now to obtain my associates degree. I'm taking up business of course.
I have those whom I hope will see me through all this if I need it. Times like these is when you get to learn who really cares about your well being. I'm not saying money is all important in my friendships or other relationships. What I mean is I have nothing in a society where everything costs. I'm fortunate the thrift store at First Presbyterian Church Collinsville has very nice clothes. I've gotten stuff from there with tags still on them. Why not pay 50 cents for brand new name brand jeans? Co-Manager Sarah Ross is a very nice woman who I've seen running things for the most part.
If you're wondering how I would've backed the bet made on my 3-23-blog, you can worry about something else. Its only a gamble when there is a chance I could lose. I couldn't lose. My poetry is just that damn good!
All around, the church is filled with good people. I feel like a human being there and not an ex-con who must prove I'm worthy to be treated decently. Of course there will be people with prejudices everywhere we go. I don't begrudge anyone that. I have some too I suppose.
Either way, there is a lot to be said for people who care enough about life to aide others without seeking anything in return other than the sense of pride that comes with being unselfish. It comes back around too. The way you live, if you are true to yourself, will always show in those who are attracted to you. I am what I say am to everyone. That way I can't be accused of hypocrisy. I give what I can whenever I can and I've found that its working out well. No con games, theft, nor illegal activities.
This is why I feel guilty if people do more for me than I feel I deserve from them. This is a strange problem to have for a man who doesn't own a computer and is enrolled in online college, manages three web accounts--including this blog, and is a writer working on a constant deadline dictated by poverty.
Hell, I feel guilty that I haven't learned how to share my new photos with all of you yet. I might get that together before I post this blog. We'll see. Mrs. Jerie Artz is the pastor's wife and the children's minister at the church. She took some pictures of me Sunday and she'll probably have to help me put them on Facebook. It's hard for me to find time to sit down and learn things. Plus, I have to find someone who'll teach me at the time when I do have time to focus on learning.
As some of you know, I'm very busy and short on money, equipment, and computer know how. Its hard to enjoy the simple pleasures I can afford when I have so many needs and obligations that I can not fulfill. I'll do my best to make this as pleasurable as possible for my readers. I'm trying to build a castle with only pebbles right now. I'll get it right eventually. Thanks for the tips people. I want to name one person in particular, but I must ask her permission before I write about her.
I'm about to learn how to build a page where we'll all be able to discuss thoughts about this blog. What you think, need and want to know is important. We all want to live better lives than we have now right? We may be able to help each other. I'll only discuss or write about something any of you may share with me if you give me permission to do so. I'm quite loyal. I have to be. My word is literally all I have. If I discredit myself, I'm nobody. Therefore I protect it just as fiercely as I protect those who are close to me.
I must leave you now. I need to shower and prepare for today's work. Love can mean a lot of things so I regret having to use the word, but it describes how I feel about my readers. I give everything I can--a piece of myself,so to speak-- when I write for you.
I'm a fighter though. Supaman! I said men have to be demonstrations of strength, amongst other things. I'm a man of my word. I'll be here for you tomorrow.
Supaman Tion Terrell