I'm at a new friend's in Litchfield, Illinois. I crashed a party last night for the first time since I got out of prison. It was okay. I felt awkward because I was the only black man there and I only knew Crystal and her old friend. I enjoyed it though. I actually told the people how weird it felt. They didn't get it until they learned I'd been in prison subjected to a horrendous warzone for ten years.
I think this is something many people have to be aware of when they deal with ex-cons, war veterans, and others who have handicaps that effect their emotional/phsychological make ups and behavior in ways they can't control. People in social situations tend to set expectations for others that are not reasonable due to the subject's ignorances and/or other problems.
I live with that a lot. I've messed up a lot, but I've done a lot of good too. I'll probably continue to do a lot of both. I have a lot to learn, but only a few people who are willing to teach me. Those who try don't really understand how to communicate well with me all the time. This frustrates them and myself.
I'll get it eventually. I have no other choice. I love life and I try to love people. I can't live up to my responsiblities if I don't figure this out.
Always real;
Supaman Tion Terrell
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