For the past couple of months, my closest friends have been warning me about burn out. My response has always been, " I'm Supaman. I don,t know what burn out is."
Well, I know what it is now. I'm not at that point, but I was so close to it yesterday I was afraid of failure for the first time in a long time. It may sound hard to believe , but there is very little that I'm afraid of.
I hit the ground running on Feb 13th when I stepped of the bus at the St. Louis terminal. All my plans haven't worked out , but I never stopped making progress. Here lately, several things have been going wrong. Like most people would be, I'm disconcerted by the string of mishaps.
First, I learn that my publisher has changed the promotional plans for the "Think Outside the Cell Series. There will be no tour of the country to host forums. I've been telling the world this was coming! Instead, there will be one fantastic event that we expect to be covered by a global news broadcaster. There is also an event coming up in September in New York. However, for the latter, I was a mere after thought.
Then I was disappointed by a financial institution that guaranteed a loan, but after over a week of jumping through hoops, they tell me I don't qualify for the loan because I haven't been employed for three months.
Third, I spent a substantial amount of money in preparation for Wednesday's Poetry Slam competition to end up missing it entirely.
I refuse to mope about any of this. I have to keep fighting. I want a family and I intend to build a bright future for us. This means I have to keep working hard.
My greatest worry is about all the obligations I've taken on. Church, the choir, charity work, writing projects, work, gardening, and my friendships. I find myself strung out a little thin. I can manage all this, I just have to make the most of every minute of the day. I also need a lot of support from my friends. I get it though.
Thank you everybody!
Its easy to be Supaman when everything is going well. A string of letdowns can make one wonder how many more will come. I came so close to burnout because I started dwelling on the possibilities of failure. I almost ended up feeling depressed.
I had to stop and look at my life objectively. I've had more successes than failures. I've had just as much aid in my failures as Ive had in my successes. Therefore, I have no reason to dwell on the mishaps that may occur. I've made it this far because I've known all along that we can only achieve what we work for.
I'm getting back on the horse now, sore behind and all. I hope sharing this will inspire you all to never give up.
Supaman Tion Terrell