Monday, April 26, 2010

Two Families

On Easter I had dinner at my pastor's house. He and his talented wife invited her mother, a small family, and of course myself. It was the first time I sat down to dinner with so many people in the presence of alcohol (there was a bottle of Merlot) without a fight breaking out.

Yesterday I had lunch with my two best friends from church. We had quite a time. I enjoy loving people without there being strings attached.

Today I did some thinking about my life and I realized I have two families. The friends I have at church are one family. My other family is biological. These are the people that I was referring to when I wrote "Dysfunctional."

I don't think I can ever get over sitting in prison for ten years without reading a single letter from my family. One exception was my cousin Regina. She was there for me when she could be.

I explained what a true friend is some time ago. I guess now I need to talk about family. This is therapy for me and advice for my readers.

True family are even more concerned about your well being than the friends I described in the post "All Your Friends Aren't Friends." True family accepts your faults while encouraging and guiding you towards working on them. They are also patient while you work to better yourself.

They don't demand that you do things their way or on a schedule they choose. The don't insist that you believe they know everything either.

You can tell when you are around true family because it feels link a deep breath of fresh air as long as you're with them. It wrenches your heart when you part ways. This is not to say family won't pluck each others' last nerve. You can love and be there for people when you don't like everything about them.

There aren't many real families that I've seen. However, I'm not stupid enough to disregard the fact that my little world is not the whole wold. I know the reason behind the dysfunctional families and their fake people is simple.


We have to be able to put others before our unnecessary desires. No one should put another person before legitimate needs of their own, but we often confuse wants with needs.

I want you all to think about the people you call family. Then I want you to think about how you all treat each other.

Always real,
Supaman Tion Terrell

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