Each of us who seek persons to play the role of significant others have images in our heads of the type of person we want. Some seekers wear their expectations on their sleeves. Some don't even know they are seeking fullfilment from others, nor what image(s) they hope to match until they encounter the one(s) they believe will meet their needs.
Game is the ability to identify what others seek and then match your persona to those expectations. Whether or not having game is admirable varies from person to person. Personally, I believe one should never take more from another human being than they can and intend to repay in some form or fashion.
Game is dangerous. There are many types of games to be played. Most who play them are unstable, selfish, and greedy.
Game is the primary reason why so many of us get our hearts broken by people we once believed were so perfect for us. Gamers are, by virtue, predators. They seek a particular set of flaws and insecurities to exploit. A good gamer can blindside many people at once. All thats needed is thorough understanding of human nature, or an advisor who possesses such knowledge.
Politicians, some preachers, and even gang leaders have this in common.
We all have ideals about what a good person should be and what a bad person is. With these ideals comes the common understanding that good people are somewhat naive. On the other hand, we find bad people intriguing, mysterious, exciting even. Most times, we either want to change them or see bad things happen to them.
Its common to overlook good people. They are usually what we consider boring. We often take them for granted. The bad are usally in high demand and are treated better than they probably deserve in most relationships--this is not necessarily a bad thing. Usually though, gamers will drop a friend or lover when someone else comes along who offers more benifits or simply to indulge in a thrilling chase.
I've been both the gamer and the victim. I've learned the good lose out during these exchanges because they allow themselves to get too involved with gamers before they learn the true natures of who they are dealing with. Most of the time, even after the gamer's true nature is revealed, the victim pretends not to notice because they believe they are in love and will suffer more pain by letting go than they will by putting up with their exploiter.
It takes game to recognize game. Genuine people don't use game so they can easily be sucked in, used, and discarded before ever realizing what hit them.
In the defense of some (probably most) predators, they don't even know why they do what they do. Running game is stressful. One can lose their grip on reality if they stay at it too long. This happens more times than not. As stated above, gamers are usually unstable. They are marked by self esteem issues that caused them to roleplay to fit in and please others. At some point, they learned to be proactive in their manipulations, but they are still insecure people. They derive self-worth from their ability to outsmart others.
Gamers are inconsistant because its impossible to always wear a facade. They have no solid core personality. This means they are sometimes irrational and have the potential to be dangerous. This is what usually attracts their victems. The regular routine of stable secure life becomes boring to many people at some point or another. Gamers offer adventure and thrills. Then too, the taboo associated being involved with bad people makes the liason all the more stimulating.
Gamers appear to have all the fun. They invest a great deal of energy in that illusion's creation and maintenance. Since most people judge others based on appearances, its easy for a skilled gamer to draw others into their web.
What constitutes good fun and bad varies from person to person according to their moral convictions. Whats is important here is that it be said most people aren't what they seem. We must be very careful about who we allow into our lives. They all bring baggage with them when they come. Most of it we probably don't need since we carry enough of our own.
You gamers out there should quit while you're ahead. You're doomed to stumble upon better gamers as you prowl for more victems. Its the way of things. Some call it kharma. The Bible says we reap what we sew. I say God gives us all what we need and what we deserve.
No matter how its stated, the bottom line is we all must be careful to be as sincere as possible in our dealings with others. The peace of mind that comes with sincerity enables one to use their insights to recognize the intent of others who may be dangerous gamers. We must be equally careful about who we befriend and/or get emotionally involved with. If allowed too close, people can ruin our lives and even those of others close to us. Then we're stuck carrying the guilt we feel for having allowed it to happen.
Of course, most people will blame everyone but themselves, although it won't change anything. It will actually cause more harm because such denial is the gateway to insanity.
Supaman Tion Terrell