Something funny happened today. I talked to a friend of my first love. Of course I thought about that girl. I never met another woman who loved me the way she did until I met the woman I'm with. I met the latter via mail while in prison. This is a funny story.
I had a dream about two red haired women. The next day, I told someone about the dream. He gave me the address of a red haired woman he stumbled upon. I wrote Crystal and 15 months later here I am.
But anyway, my first love was something no man could forget. I, however, was a dirt bag. I damn near ruined her life. Not to mention cheating, and other crimes against her love.
The next relationship I dedicated myself to lasted only 6 months. It ended with me at the lowest point in life and well on my way to prison.
I went to prison believing I had a son. A month after I get out after serving 9.5yrs, I'm told the child wasn't mine. I'm still dealing with the weird since of loss.I was told she couldn't get pregnant at all. I also took the blame for her failing her college courses although I had always been told she was on top of her grades.
The sad thing is I'd gone into the relationship doing my best to correct all the mistakes I made while with my fist love.
Now I'm looking back on my relationships. This includes my present ones. The past includes today.
I know how to love. I believe in taking care of the people I love just as much as I take care of myself--whenever I can that is. I learn from each days experiences.
A man in my position must protect his heart. I'm afraid not to explain how fragile it is. Its the only way anyone can fully appreciate how serious I see matters of the heart.
I have enough trial and tribulation in my life. Loving someone shouldn't cause me pain. I'm not naive enough to believe a relationship is pain free. The act of trying to love someone shouldn't hurt though.
Besides, I love hard. I believe in being all that I can be when it comes to goals and for those I love. In my intimate relationship, I must have the opportunity to express my love. I need a woman who can appreciate and reciprocate my love.
It amazes me that this type of woman is so hard to find when I here so many crying "A good man is hard to find."
Supaman Tion Terrell