Today, I'm compelled to address a matter I feel very strongly about. I know a great deal about child abuse from my upbringing. By age 5, I'd been drunk, and smoked cigarettes and marijuana. That's trivial compared to the psychological torture, neglect, emotional battery, physical abuse, and sexual molestation I suffered.
Any mental health professional will tell you a childhood like mine will likely produce an adult like the man I used to be. Addict. Delinquent. Treacherous. Deceitful, etc.
My warning to you all is be careful with your children. No sane person would subject their child to the terrors I suffered, but most people who subject children to abuse do so out of ignorance.
I'm here to teach you better.There are so many forms of child abuse I can't even address them all here. I will, however, address the most common forms that some may overlook.
Lets look at spanking first. I won't suggest that people shouldn't discipline their children in this manner. I don't believe doing it would be necessary if parents took the time to understand and communicate with them. My problem with spanking is the common occurrence of parents beating children due to anger, and the spanking of children without the parent explaining to the child why they are being disciplined. Both of these situations teach children to display violence when they are angry. The child won't learn the intended lesson this way. What they'll learn is to be mischievous and not get caught.
Parents have to be patient. Preferably, patient enough to wait until they are mature enough to be good parents before having children. I've seen many people neglect their children by not educating and nurturing them. In the early years, children need to be taught independence, respect, and self-love. Most parents don't teach children these things , but then turn around and expect the child to be well behaved. When the child doesn't live up to this unreasonable expectation, they get punished for it.
You must be patient and understanding. Infants are totally dependent. Toddlers are naturally curious. Juniors test boundaries as they discover their independence. Parents have to meet the needs of the child in each stage of their psychological development. Too many people fail their children in this regard. This too is abuse.
Lying to your children to protect them is also abuse. Trying to keep them innocent is abuse. Children deserve to be prepared for the cruel world they inherited and the predators they will encounter. Ignorance is only bliss for the sheltered, but no one can be sheltered forever. When reality catches up with naive people, they get crushed. This means you have to stop painting the picture of a pretty world for your children. Or, do you want them to be victims of others' games?
Like always, I ask my readers to get out of their emotions, and to think rationally. I welcome apposing arguments, but I don't care for rationalizations for irrational beliefs and behaviors.
As for those who abuse children for personal gratification, please get help. Something is terribly wrong with you. It would be wise to avoid me and others who think like me. We believe in righteous indignation.
Supaman Tion Terrell